The Power of Difference From Conflict to Collaboration in Five Steps ~ Dana Morris-Jones

Dana Morris-Jones 2 The Costs of Unmanaged Conflict  Lost time  Work Around’s  Poor Problem-Solving/Decision Making  Morale & Loyalty  Compliance without Commitment  Stress and Distress  Poor Image 2

Dana Morris-Jones 3 Why Do We Behave This Way? How Can We do Better? Shift From Focus on short term & personal Lack of trust of other’s motives Action based on unmanaged emotions Live in cultures of competition Inadequate skills To Focus on broadly defined long term shared interests Get others to be trustworthy Manage emotions so rational brain in charge Build cultures aligned around common purpose Conflict competence

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5 Shift from to By Short term focus  Become neutral observer  Gather information  Let go of position Long term focus

Dana Morris-Jones 6 Shift from to By Lack of trust  Prisoners Dilemma  Tit for Tat  Model trust, openness  Shared interests Trusting others

Dana Morris-Jones 7 Shift from to By Unmanaged Emotions  EQ – mindfulness & empathy  Validate to lower emotional intensity  Address substantive issues first Rational Brain

Dana Morris-Jones 8 Shift from to By Culture of Competition  Align around purpose, vision, strategy  Reward collaborative behavior Culture based on Shared Purpose

Dana Morris-Jones 9 Shift from to By Inadequate Skill  Identify, learn, practice and reward Conflict Competence

Dana Morris-Jones 10 Five Steps for Resolving Organizational Differences Constructively

Dana Morris-Jones 11 PREPARE  Become an Objective Observer – gather information  Analyze Information – use tools  Understand Motivation – yours & others STEP 1

Dana Morris-Jones 12 Level Analysis  Facts/Information  Processes/Practices/Structures  Goals/Objectives/Priorities  History: Behaviors, Feelings and Relationships  Interests/Needs/Motivations  Values/Beliefs  Organizational Culture Shallowest Deepest

Dana Morris-Jones 13 A New Version of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Dana Morris-Jones 14 Your Default Conflict Style

Dana Morris-Jones 15 Conflict Worksheet

Dana Morris-Jones 16 ENGAGE Create Conditions for Constructive Engagement  Identify the right people – Who  Has a stake?  Has information?  Can make a decision?  Could sabotage?  Will be constructive?  Reframe issue  Logistics STEP 2

Dana Morris-Jones 17 Reframing Formula How can we [shared interest] while [meeting my interest] and [meeting your interest]?

Dana Morris-Jones 18 An Example of Ground Rules  Be Interested: Listen to and respect all points of view  Be Accepting: Suspend judgments as much as possible  Be Curious: Seek to understand rather than persuade  Be Open-Minded: Question assumptions and look for new insights  Remain Rational: Focus on issues rather than the personal  Be Brief: Spend more time listening than talking  Be Civil: Speak as you would wish to be spoken to

Dana Morris-Jones 19 DIVERGE Define, Understand, Embrace Differences  Not for debate or problem-solving  Manage process and content STEP 3

Dana Morris-Jones 20 Manage Process – Rational Brain Your Own Emotions  Mindfulness  Self Management  Calm Demeanor Other’s Emotions  Validate  Active Listening  Non-Evaluative

Dana Morris-Jones 21 Manage Content  Both “tell your story”  Separate fact from opinion – agree on “facts”  Separate personal from substantive  Separate impact from intent  Sort into “issues” to be addressed Jealousy Anger Fear Doubt Frustration Irritation

Dana Morris-Jones 22 CO-CREATE Solution Seeking  Determine criteria for ‘good’ solution  Generate many possibilities  Narrow options STEP 4

Dana Morris-Jones 23 Determine Criteria by Listing ‘Musts’ & ‘Wants’  Musts – non-negotiables  Wants – desirable but not deal breakers

Dana Morris-Jones 24 Encourage Moving Some ‘Musts’ to ‘Wants’  Revisit reframed question & shared goal  What happens if you can’t reach agreement? (BATNA/WATNA)  Acknowledge emotional & personal issues & agree to discuss after substantive issues resolved

Dana Morris-Jones 25 AGREE  How much agreement do you need?  rule  What to do with the 20 STEP 5

Dana Morris-Jones 26 IMPLEMENT The Devil is in the Details  Clarify agreements  Define words  Assign responsibility & timelines  Monitor & plan for correction STEP 5

Dana Morris-Jones 27 Thank you for attending. Dana Morris-Jones, Ph. D. The Delphi Group, Inc.