English 101 (H) Writer’s Workshop Fall 2013 Thesis Sentences That Make Mrs. Sullivan Go Hmmm… Oh golly—I can’t wait to see how Elle English compares education to an Alaskan moose! I can write an effective thesis statement that constructs an argument.

A strong thesis statement: Is argumentative. In other words, someone should be able to disagree with your statement. Can be “proved”. This means that you should be able to cite several pieces of evidence to prove to your reader that you are correct. Should be interesting, and it is not something that is obvious. The reader should want to continue reading your paper, so therefore, do not simply repeat facts that we have discussed in depth within class. If it is really easy to prove, then it is not a challenge—your paper runs the risk of being boring. Affects our interpretation of the text or a concept. So, you should try to prove something that has significance in how we interpret the text/idea, not something so small that it is irrelevant. Is stated as though it is a fact, even though it is really an opinion. Convince the audience that you are correct, so create a bold statement. Your thesis should have unity. It should make one unified point; you do not want it to sound like several mini-papers put together. So, do not simply list three things in your thesis that will be discussed in each individual body paragraph; push yourself to become a more advanced and sophisticated writer. I can write an effective thesis statement that constructs an argument.

Graduation/Analogy paper clarification Go beyond a simplistic simile or metaphor. Really develop your comparison into an extended analogy. Pay special attention to the examples that follow to help clarify any confusion. I can write an effective thesis statement that constructs an argument.

Sample Analogy… Once there was a man walking down the street who fell into a hole. The hole was so deep he could not escape. He looked in all directions and could not figure out how to raise himself from the hole. A preacher walked by, heard the man’s cry for help and inquired, “Why are you in that hole in the road?” The man replied: “I fell in and can’t get out.” The preacher said that he would pray for him and walked away. I can write an effective thesis statement that constructs an argument.

A police officer walked by, heard the man’s cry for help and inquired, “Why are you in that hole in the road?” The man replied: “I fell in and can’t get out.” The policeman said it was against the law to be in a hole in the road, wrote him a ticket, threw it into the hole and walked away. An environmentalist walked by, heard the man’s cry for help and inquired, “Why are you in that hole in the road?” The man replied, “I fell in and I can’t get out.” The environmentalist said it was environmentally unsafe to be in a hole in the road and began to picket, circling the hole and holding a sign reading “Man in Hole in Road…Environmentally Unsafe!” I can write an effective thesis statement that constructs an argument.

A friend walked by, heard the man’s cry for help and inquired, “Why are you in that hole in the road?” The man replied, “I fell in and can’t get out.” Without hesitation, the friend jumped into the hole with him. The man in the hole said, “Why did you jump in this hole? I can’t get out. I have had preachers praying for me, police writing me a ticket, and this goofy person picketing outside. And you chose to jump down here with me. Are you crazy? Why would you jump down here with me? The friend replied, “Don’t worry. I chose to jump in this hole with you because I have been in this hole before, and I know the way out!” I can write an effective thesis statement that constructs an argument.

Thesis: Every person is faced with obstacles in life that may create holes in her dreams, but with the help of a mentor, anyone is capable of climbing out of the holes life presents, and making something of herself. I can write an effective thesis statement that constructs an argument.

Weak Thesis Statements Don’t be That Guy, weak and struggling as a writer; instead, be THAT GUY, who can carry his own weight when it comes to writing. I’m That Guy; HELP! I’m THAT GUY, and I have a scheduled manicure and pedicure this afternoon since I have time to kill; my paper has been done for days. I can write an effective thesis statement that constructs an argument.

1. Makes no claim Education can be compared to something unexpected. Compared to what? Why? I can write an effective thesis statement that constructs an argument.

Instead… Education is remarkably like a football team in which each member plays an integral and indispensable role. I can write an effective thesis statement that constructs an argument.

2. Makes an Obvious Statement In Education, teachers are like baseball coaches and students are like the players. So what?? What does this mean?? I can write an effective thesis statement that constructs an argument.

Instead… Baseball’s emphasis on statistics and on strategy is similar to the competitive “grade game” at play in schools today. I can write an effective thesis statement that constructs an argument.

3. Gives a Broad, General Topic Education is like a ship. Why?? In what ways is education like a ship? I can write an effective thesis statement that constructs an argument.

Instead… Though nothing can be done to save the sinking ship of education, there is much that an individual crew member can do for the passengers for whom she is responsible. I can write an effective thesis statement that constructs an argument.

4. Gives Destination instead of Direction Education is like a dandelion because the soil is like the parents, the stem is like the teacher, and the seeds are like the students. Too specific! Why bother reading the paper? I can write an effective thesis statement that constructs an argument.

Instead… When students are planted in rich, fertile soil and supported by a stem which gives them strength and height, they will be able to soar high when they are released. I can write an effective thesis statement that constructs an argument.

So, a strong thesis statement: Is argumentative. In other words, someone should be able to disagree with your statement. Can be “proved”. This means that you should be able to cite several pieces of evidence to prove to your reader that you are correct. Should be interesting, and it is not something that is obvious. The reader should want to continue reading your paper, so therefore, do not simply repeat facts that we have discussed in depth within class. If it is really easy to prove, then it is not a challenge—this will not get you a high grade. Affects our interpretation of the text or a concept. So, you should try to prove something that has significance in how we interpret the text/idea, not something so small that it is irrelevant. Is stated as though it is a fact, even though it is really an opinion. Convince the audience that you are correct, so create a bold statement. Your thesis should have unity. It should make one unified point; you do not want it to sound like several mini-papers put together. So, do not simply list three things in your thesis that will be discussed in each individual body paragraph; push yourself to become a more advanced writer. I can write an effective thesis statement that constructs an argument.