WRITING A THESIS STATEMENT The Critical/Analytical Response to Text The Craft of Writing an Essay Part 1 PLANNING THE ESSAY WRITING A THESIS STATEMENT A Think Aloud Process

Deciding on your thesis statement: The first step to planning your essay The assumption is that you know your text inside out and have developed your own ideas in relation to the text For a literary essay, you are asked to make a debatable claim that demonstrates your insight on a specific topic (essential question) Your claim should strike the reader as an “aha” rather than a “duh” observation

Critical Essay Question For your Diploma exam, you will be given an essential question that can be related to a wide variety of texts. For example: Discuss the ideas(s) developed by the text creator (s) about the ways in which individuals attempt to reconcile the desire to act independently with the need for security.

STEP ONE Interpret the question (work the prompt) Underline the key thematic words (independence / security) and the key words (reconcile the desire) develop your interpretation in relation to the text: How is independence portrayed in the text(s)? How is security portrayed in the text(s)? How will you address the conflict between the two – “the desire to reconcile”?

STEP TWO Decide on a text and create the question Change the statement into a question (that you can answer) related to a specific text(s) of your choice How do the characters (name) in (text) reconcile their desire for independence with their need for security? (How/Why/When (under what circumstances) does the desire for independence come into conflict with the need for security in the lives of (characters) in (text)?

STEP THREE Brainstorm a subset of questions As you do so, think of possible answers. Let your imagination roam over all possible questions:

STEP FOUR Create your claim & blueprint your supporting arguments Look for a pattern (group your ideas) in your brainstorming that leads to a potential claim Think of an argument/claim (that contains potential for debate) Create at least three supporting arguments that support your main argument/claim Be specific – have specific incidents from the play to back up your point

STEP FIVE Write your thesis A good thesis is not only a debatable claim, but also suggests the structure of the paper. The thesis allows the reader to imagine and anticipate the flow of the paper Your statement should: State the topic State your insight/interpretation/claim Refer the text if you have not already done so in your introductory paragraph State specific character(s) involved Suggest a sequence of points that logically prove the essay's main assertion Be expressed in the present tense

FORMULA SENTENCE (When in doubt, try this) Think about it this way: When we look at (character, literary techniques, author’s style) we see that ___ (insight) which is significant because … Write it this way: In (name of text), the author (name) develops the idea that … Consider: whether your statement implies cause and effect (a ‘leads to’ statement), makes connections or comparisons (an ‘is’ statement) or comments on a theme related to the prompt

STEP SIX Test your thesis against the 5-part MTS (magic thesis statement) formula: Identify what you are looking at (the conflict between the need for security and the desire for independence) identify the situation you can see / are describing State where that leads Point out the significance Be able to restate your thesis in other words – literally write a sentence following your thesis that begins with “in other words”

Test your thesis (CSSMI – ‘kiss me’) Clarity: Use straightforward language – avoid reference to philosophers/philosophies or anything esoteric Specificity: Is your thesis it too vague? For example, the statement "Shakespeare's characterization demonstrates his incredible insight as a playwright" is too vague because your reader can't be sure what you mean by "insight" or how it relates to "characterization" Strength: Make sure you have at least three arguments (in mind) that support your thesis Make sure you have evidence for each argument Each argument should be the material for future body paragraphs Manageability: Can you handle the topic within the time frame/space provided? Interest: Does it state the obvious (“duh”)? If it's so obvious that nobody could fail to see it, it's probably not worth writing about

Write Your First Paragraph (there is flexibility in the order!) Opening Hook Statements that narrow the focus (work the prompt) Offer interpretation of key theme words/ideas Massage interpretation to suit the text Thesis statement In other words… Blueprint Transition

Reconcile the desire for independence with the need for security - Level ? It is not always possible to become independent and retain safety. As women, the characters in Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s The Yellow Wallpaper and Neil Bissoondath’s The Cage are restricted by societal ideals that interfere with their freedom. They are expected to honor marriage and lead lives not for themselves but for their families. The characters in Gilman’s and Bissoondath’s short stories seem to be driven by a desire for independence that overwhelms their need for security, but are bound by traditional values that prevent them from having both at once. What comments would you make about this paragraph? How would you improve it?

Reconcile the desire for independence with the need for security - Level 3-4 See next slide on how to change to a level 5 It is not always possible to become independent and retain safety. As women, the characters in Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s The Yellow Wallpaper and Neil Bissoondath’s The Cage are restricted by societal ideals that interfere with their freedom. They are expected to honor marriage and lead lives not for themselves but for their families. The characters in Gilman’s and Bissoondath’s short stories seem to be driven by a desire for independence that overwhelms their need for security, but are bound by traditional values that prevent them from having both at once. Good opening hook; however the word ‘safety’ needs to be ‘security’ unless the connection between the two is explained. Sentence two could be clarified to make the meaning more explicit. Further explanation needed of the assertion that the characters are ‘restricted by societal ideals’. Excellent thesis statement but ideally, the paragraph needs a blueprint that could also function as a transition.

Reconcile the desire for independence with the need for security - level 5 It is not always possible to become independent and simultaneously retain security. The female characters in Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s The Yellow Wallpaper and Neil Bissoondath’s The Cage are restricted by societal expectations that restrict their freedom creating a conflict between their desire for independence and their need for security. They are expected to honour marriage and pay heed to the traditional role of women in society as homemakers and remain subservient to men. They lead lives not for themselves but for their families and in doing so, relinquish opportunities for self fulfillment and independence. The protagonists in Gilman’s and Bissoondath’s short stories seem to be driven by a desire for independence that overwhelms their need for security, but are bound by traditional values that prevent them from having both at once. In other words, security is the trade off for independence but the sacrifice that is made comes at a cost to these characters – either insanity or a life of compromise. In both stories, the authors use symbolism and first person narrative style to portray the internal conflict that both protagonists endure.

WRITING Body Paragraphs The Critical/Analytical Response to Text The Craft of Writing an Essay Part 2 PLANNING THE ESSAY WRITING Body Paragraphs Modelling the Process

Structure: The Body Paragraphs The S-E-X Method: Statement: introduces the main idea of the paragraph. This may often be more than one sentence Example (a quotation or paraphrase from the text) that clearly supports your statement Explanation - three important components: 1. Explain your example /evidence – what does it show? What is the context of the quote, and how have you interpreted it? 2. Connect example to your statement – how does your example support your statement? 3. Connect example and explanation to your thesis statement - use key words from your thesis statement. This keeps the controlling idea consistent

Structure: The Body Paragraphs Some other tips on writing body paragraphs: Don’t ever consider or introduce new claims –argue for your position only. You are the authority on this topic and this text. Write with confidence Don’t automatically use three body paragraphs – do some planning, and use as many paragraphs as are necessary to adequately explore and support your claim. Be specific and detailed with your explanations. Arrange your paragraphs purposefully and logically. This means discussing ideas in the order in which they are raised in the text. Make connections between the paragraphs so that they do not become separate entities

Body paragraph 1 edited (level 3-4) The woman in The Yellow Wallpaper is bound by the traditional ideals (11b) of her time, worsening her already unstable mental condition.(8a) She believes her husband, John, to be incorrect in his diagnosis, but does not reason with him because he “is so wise, and because he loves [her] so.” Regardless of her knowledge of her own deteriorating state of mind, (4) she chooses to honor her husband’s beliefs and keep her silence. (9d) She acknowledges (2a/11b) her husband as society tells her to; he is the man, and therefore better suited to make a decision. To disagree with her husband could risk the safety(9c) she has attained by being married. At first the protagonist is in no position to pursue independence, as her place in society prevents her from doing so. She is passive about her situation, believing John in saying it is “only nervousness” and is “glad that [her] condition is not serious.” The protagonist also believes that her anger with John is most often “unreasonable,” for surely he has a better understanding of the problem.(8b/3) Over time, she learns to break free from the traditional ideas of society, and gains a sort of independence from it.(2a)

Body paragraph 1 with changes The protagonist of The Yellow Wallpaper, who remains noticeably nameless and thus anonymous throughout the story, is bound by the traditional expectations of her time to obey her husband (and brother) because they are men and both “physicians of high standing” (p.332). The worsening of her already unstable mental condition created by this situation is revealed in the protagonist’s diary where her narrative voice brings the reader into direct contact with her feelings and state of mind. She believes her husband, John, to be incorrect in his diagnosis, but does not reason with him because he “is so wise, and because he loves [her] so” (p. 334). Regardless of her knowledge of her own deteriorating state of mind, she chooses to honour her husband’s beliefs and keep her silence for “what is one to do?”( p331). She is acquiescent in her husband’s presence as society tells her to; he is the man, and therefore better suited to make a decision. To disagree with her husband could risk the security and safety she has attained by being married. At first the protagonist is in no position to pursue independence, as her place in society prevents her from doing so. She is passive about her situation, believing John in saying it is “only nervousness” and is “glad that [her] condition is not serious.” The protagonist also believes that her anger with John is most often “unreasonable,” for surely he has a better understanding of the problem. Behind these declarations of compliance however, an underlying sense of anger emerges – anger expressed as tiredness: “I take pains to control myself – before him, at least, and that makes me very tired” (p.332). Despite her husband’s admonitions, the narrator secretly and rebelliously continues to write in her diary, tracing her psychological journey from dependence to a liberation that is shocking in its outcome. When she learns to break free from the traditional ideas of society, and gains a sort of independence from it, she does so through the transformation of her anonymous self into a creature her husband can no longer recognize, and she does this at the price of her sanity.

Body Paragraph 2 Annotate this paragraph (with crac15) and make the changes In freeing herself from the rules of her society, the woman in The Yellow Wallpaper rejects the traditional form of security: marriage. There is safety in marriage, financial safety in particular. Furthermore, during this era, women did not work outside the home and their roles in society were believed to revolve solely around their families. This prison is symbolized by the yellow wallpaper, as demonstrated by the patterns in the paper that restrict a woman inside it. She sees this woman, a mirror of herself, “all the time trying to climb through. But nobody would climb through that pattern – it strangles so.” As the story progresses, the protagonist grows more and more independent, finally breaking free upon tearing down the wallpaper against her husband’s advice. By doing this, she obtains a psychological freedom from the rules of her society. Though she is at risk for losing physical freedom, as she will likely now require extra attention for her unstable mind, her sacrifice of her sanity offers her a means to escape the prison which initially caused her nervousness. The protagonist will no longer have to deal with “women’s” work, her husband, or even the baby she cannot connect to. She regards her independence as more important than her security within her society and at no point in the story is she able to hang on to both. When she belonged to her husband, she lacked freedom but was guaranteed safety, and could only gain freedom upon letting go of her security.