Leaving Home – ► Reasons:  Independence (job, friends…)  School - Education  Marriage/co-habitation  Military  Missionary Service

System’s Theory: ► Consider the costs and benefits of staying at home vs. leaving:  Privacy from parental supervision  Independence from their parents  Companionship and financial/emotional support they receive from parents  Save money while living with parents for resources, education, future housing or weddings…  The age at which young people choose to live independently of their parents is increasing gradually. Young adults are choosing to live with their parents longer.

The Decision to Leave Home ► Occurs earlier when there is a conflict at home ► Children of divorced parents are more likely to leave home – especially if one or both of the parents have remarried ► Living at home is cheaper than living alone or with roommates ► Women usually decide to leave home earlier than men do

Expectations of Teenagers ► Make a list of 10 expectations you have of yourself for your future

► Adolescents in Canada are optimistic about their futures as adults ► A study of attitudes and values of teens aged 15-19, showed that most expected to graduate from school, pursue a career, marry, and be better off than their parents. ► Bibby, Reginald. Expectations of Teenagers. Canada’s Teens: Today, Yesterday and Tomorrow. 2001

Expectation: % Indicating ‘Yes’ NationalMalesFemales Pursue a career Get the job you want when you graduate Stay with the same career for life Get married Eventually stay home and raise your children Own your own home Be more financially comfortable than your parents Have to work overtime in order to get ahead Travel extensively outside Canada Be involved in your community

► In North America, when individuals achieve adult status, they are expected to become a self reliant person. ► Consider the Family Life Cycle Theory

The Family Life Cycle Theory ► The emotional and intellectual stages you pass through from childhood to your retirement years as a member of a society and a family

Stage 1: Independence Stage Single Adulthood ► Most critical stage of the family life cycle – focus is on building your own identity ► As a young adult, you begin to separate emotionally from your family ► Strive to become fully able to support yourself emotionally, physically, socially, and financially

► Intimacy is a vital skill to develop ► Intimacy is the ability to develop and maintain close relationships that can endure hard times and other challenges ► Depends on how successful you were at developing your individual identity earlier in life

► Exploring interests and career goals is part of developing independence. ► To live successfully away from your family, you must develop financial and emotional independence.

► Important qualities you develop during this phase include:  Trust  Morals  Initiative  Work ethic  Identity (who you are in the world)

Stage 2: Coupling Stage ► Commitment to a new family and a new way of life ► When you marry, you combine your family system with your spouse's. ► This requires reshaping your and your spouse's goals.

► In the most functional marriages, partners have the ability to take two different points of view and create an option that neither person had considered.

► The ultimate goal = to achieve interdependence (occurs when you are able to fully enter into a relationship with another person) ► Requires that you share goals and that you are able to occasionally place the needs of another above your own ► You must have first acquired a high degree of independence

► The relationship skills you learn in coupling serve as a foundation for other relationships, such as parent- child  Interpersonal communication  Problem-solving skills  Common spiritual and emotional development goals  How to form boundaries in relationships  When to place the needs or importance of the other person above your own

Stage 3: Parenting Babies Through Adolescents ► Parenting young children: ► Caring for young children cuts into the amount of time you might otherwise spend alone or with your spouse ► Specific goals when young children join your family are:  Adjusting your marital system to make space for children.  Taking on parenting roles.  Realigning your relationships with your extended family to include parenting and grand-parenting roles.

► Specific goals during the stage of parenting adolescents include:  Shifting parent-child relationships to allow the child to move in and out of the family system.  Shifting focus back to your midlife marital and career issues.  Beginning a shift toward concern for older generations in your extended family.

Stage 4: Empty Nest Launching Adult Children ► Developing adult relationships with your children ► Challenged to accept new members into your family through your children's marriages or relationships

► This is a time when your health and energy levels may decline. Some people are diagnosed with chronic illnesses. ► Symptoms of these diseases can limit normal activities and even long-enjoyed pastimes. ► Health issues related to midlife may begin to occur and can include:  High blood pressure (hypertension), Weight problems, Arthritis, Menopause, Heart disease (coronary artery disease), Depression, Stress- related illnesses.

► Specific goals to attain at this stage include:  Refocusing on your marriage without children.  Developing adult relationships with your grown children.  Realigning relationships to include in-laws and grandchildren when your children begin their own families

Stage 5: Retirement or Senior Stage of Life ► Specific goals to reach for at this final stage of your family life cycle include:  Maintaining your own interests and physical functioning, along with those of your spouse, as your body ages.  Exploring new family and social roles.  Providing emotional support for your adult children and extended family members.

► Providing support for the older generation ► Loss of a spouse, siblings, and other peers, and preparing for your own death ► Reviewing your life and reflecting on all you have learned and experienced during your life cycle