Anecdote Workshop You Need: Two hard copies of introduction Pen/pencil Green and pink highlighters

Steps for Writing your Admissions/Scholarship Draft: Decide on your green words: If it is a personal essay, decide what you want the admissions/scholarship committee to know about you. If it is not a personal essay, decide what green words are representative of your overarching message. Pick an anecdote: Your story should illustrate your point and communicate your green words. You can use your green words in your story, but you don’t need to as long as the concepts are clear. Concrete Details (show vs. tell): The first sentence of your paper should be the first sentence of your anecdote. Jump right in; this will draw your reader into your paper and get him/her engaged immediately. Tie everything together: Your thesis with your green words should be in this section. Remember, this should go after your anecdote. Read your essay out loud: Your ear will pick up errors better than anything else. Print your essay and bring it to class. (Rough Draft 8/27, Final Draft 8/28 and 29)

1. Once you are in groups of three, evenly distribute anecdote copies so that each peer reviewer has their own copy. 2. Make a key at the top of the first introduction to be reviewed. (Repeat for 2nd anecdote) Green= Telling (abstract ideas, green words) Pink= Showing (sensory details, vivid imagery) 3. Highlight sentences that tell memory/event in GREEN. Highlight phrases/sentences that show memory/event in PINK.

Showing vs. Telling Remember: Abstract ideas like “nice,” “nervous,” “upset,” “scared,” “love” Telling about an example rather than telling the example like a story Showing: Paints a picture of what those abstract ideas look like Clear, concrete pictures Highlight papers for showing (Pink) vs. telling (Green) now

On the bottom of the rough draft answer the following in complete sentences: List possible Green Words that you feel the author is attempting to convey through their anecdote/introduction. How are they successful/unsuccessful? Explain. What is the weakest sentence/section in the anecdote? Draw brackets for the author to refer back to. Make specific suggestions for improvement. (stronger verbs, sentence structure, word choice, etc) Underline your favorite sentence/s in the anecdote. Explain their appeal. List further suggestions in developing their anecdote.

Revise Once both peer reviewed copies of your anecdote are returned to you look over the comments/suggestions. -Your anecdote should have more pink than green. How can you re-work your anecdote to pull the audience in with sensory (showing) details? Use the rest of class to revise your introduction/build the rough draft of your essay.