ECD YOUTH CONGRESS & STUDENT RETREAT 2014 COMMUNICATION SKILLS Pr. Dan Abuya Chaplain- University of Nairobi SDA Church

What is Communication? What does it mean to you? The process of communication is what allows us to interact with other people; without it, we would be unable to share knowledge or experiences with anything outside of ourselves. Common forms of communication include speaking, writing, gestures, touch and broadcasting. Wikipedia definition

You are a person of privilege. You have been called to a leadership position in your church. You have been selected because you have priceless treasure stored in your mind! Hidden in your heart is the key that can unlock the mystery of eternal life. Many people all around you live despairing lives because they don’t know what you know. They desperately need to hear what you have learned about Jesus, the Savior of the world. They long for words fitly spoken that are like apples of gold in pictures of silver (Proverbs 25:11).

More attention should be given to the culture of the voice. We may have knowledge, but unless we know how to use the voice correctly, our work will be a failure. Unless we can clothe our ideas in appropriate language, of what avail is our education? Knowledge will be of little advantage to us unless we cultivate the talent of speech; but it is a wonderful power when combined with the ability to speak wise, helpful words, and to speak them in a way that will command attention.--Testimonies, vol. 6, p. 380.

Young men and young women, has God placed in your hearts a desire to do service for Him? Then by all means cultivate the voice to the utmost of your ability so that you can make plain the precious truth to others.– Testimonies, vol. 6, p. 383.

Speak Clearly and Distinctly.-- When you speak, let every word be full and well rounded, every sentence clear and distinct to the very last word. Many as they approach the end of a sentence lower the tone of the voice, speaking so indistinctly that the force of the thought is destroyed. Words that are worth speaking at all are worth speaking in a clear, distinct voice, with emphasis and expression. Testimonies, vol. 6, p. 383.

simplicity But never search for words that will give the impression that you are learned. The greater your simplicity, the better will your words be understood.-- Testimonies, vol. 6, p. 383.

Men and women are wandering in the mist and fog of error. They want to know what is truth. Tell them, not in high-flown language, but with the simplicity of the children of God. – Manual for Canvassers, pp. 39, 40.

Words Well Chosen. Do not, because you are among unbelievers, become careless in your words; for they are taking your measure…. Let the mind be filled with pure, holy thoughts, and let the words be well chosen. Hinder not the success of your work by uttering light, careless words.-- Manual for Canvassers, p. 24.

Winning Words; Gentle, Courteous Demeanor. Those who work for Christ are to be upright and trustworthy, firm as a rock to principle, and at the same time kind and courteous. Courtesy is one of the graces of the Spirit. To deal with human minds is the greatest work ever given to man; and he who would find access to hearts must heed the injunction, "Be pitiful, be courteous."

Kind words are as dew and gentle showers to the soul. The Scripture says of Christ, that grace was poured into His lips, that He might "know how to speak a word in season to him that is weary." And the Lord bids us, "Let your speech be alway with grace" "that it may minister grace unto the hearers." Kind words are as dew and gentle showers to the soul. The Scripture says of Christ, that grace was poured into His lips, that He might "know how to speak a word in season to him that is weary." And the Lord bids us, "Let your speech be alway with grace" "that it may minister grace unto the hearers." Some with whom you are brought in contact may be rough and uncourteous, but do not, because of this, be less courteous yourself. He who wishes to preserve his own self-respect must be careful not to wound needlessly the self- respect of others. This rule should be sacredly observed toward the dullest, the most blundering.– Gospel Workers, pp. 121, 122.

The Saviour's Voice. The Saviour's voice was as music to the ears of those who had been accustomed to the monotonous, spiritless preaching of the scribes and Pharisees. He spoke slowly and impressively, emphasizing those words to which He wished His hearers to give special heed.... The power of speech is of great value, and the voice should be cultivated for the blessing of those with whom we come in contact.--Counsels to Parents, Teachers, and Students, p. 240.

The Three Levels of Communications 1 Vocabulary 2 Voice Inflections 3 Nonverbal Behaviour

How We Really Communicate 7% of what we communicate is based on vocabulary 7% of what we communicate is based on vocabulary 38% of what we communicate is based on voice 38% of what we communicate is based on voiceinflections 55% of what we communicate is based on 55% of what we communicate is based on nonverbal behaviour

(P)OSTURES & GESTURES –How do you use hand gestures? Stance? (E)YE CONTACT –How’s your “Lighthouse”? (O)RIENTATION –How do you position yourself? (P)RESENTATION –How do you deliver your message? (L)OOKS –Are your looks, appearance, dress important? (E)PRESSIONS OF EMOTION –Are you using facial expressions to express emotion? TYPES OF BODY LANGUAGE Remember that you are dealing with “PEOPLE”

Verbal vs Non Verbal Can we communicate without words? Voice attributes What are they and how do they affect communication? Physical attributes What could be considered here and how do they affect communication? The power of touch What and when is OK? Which is better, verbal or non verbal?

The Communication Equation What you hear Tone of voice Vocal clarity Verbal expressiveness 40% of the message What you see or feel Facial expression Dress and grooming Posture Eye contact Touch Gesture 50% of the message WORDS … 10% of the message!

Communication is a 2-way process Communication skills involve: Listening to others (Receiving) message Asserting/ Expressing (Sending) Barriers to communication can lead to misunderstanding and confusion sender receiver sender receiver values and attitudes “generation gap” Cultural differences language noise hearing

Effective Communication Skills Effective Communication skills Eye contact & visible mouth Body language Silence Checking for understanding Smiling face Summarising what has been said Encouragement to continue Some questions

Barriers to Effective Communication Barriers to effective communication Language NoiseTime DistractionsOther people Put downs Too many questions Distance Discomfort with the topic Disability Lack of interest

The Art of Listening “If we were supposed to talk more than listen, we would have been given two mouths and one ear.” Mark Twain

Listening Skills Active Listening Responding Paraphrasing Asking questions for clarification Mirroring the other person’s language

The Gift of Speech Of all the gifts that God has bestowed upon men, none is more precious than the gift of speech. If sanctified by the Holy Spirit, it is a power for good. It is with the tongue that we convince and persuade; with it we offer prayer and praise to God; and with it we convey rich thoughts of the Redeemer's love. By a right use of the gift of speech the canvasser can sow the precious seeds of truth in many hearts.-- Testimonies, vol. 6, p (1900)