Looking Toward the Future

Understanding Life Stages n Understand the present n Take a glimpse into the future

Erik Erikson n Human beings pass through 8 stages in a fixed order n Each stage is a turning point n The outcome of each stage is positive or negative

What is your life stage? What comes next?

Stage 1: Trust Vs. Mistrust n Age 0-1 n If caregivers are consistent and caring, the child learns to trust the world as a safe place n If the infant is abused or mistreated, he or she will learn that the world is an unsafe place

Stage 2: Autonomy Vs. Shame and Doubt n Ages 1-3 n The children learn to feel competent by feeding themselves, using the toilet and playing alone n Or they learn to doubt their abilities

Stage 3: Initiative Vs. Guilt n Ages 3-5 n Children learn to plan their activities within their parents guidelines n Or they develop guilt over their misbehavior

Stage 4: Industry Vs. Inferiority n Ages 5-11 n Children learn to meet the demands of teachers, parents and peers n They learn that effort leads to success n Or they develop a lifelong feeling of inferiority

Stage 5: Identity Vs. Role Confusion n Ages n Children learn about their identity (personality, interests, values) n They also learn about the world of work n Or they develop confusion over their role in life

Stage 6: Intimacy Vs. Isolation n Ages n A person develops a loving, committed relationship n Or the adult becomes isolated from others

Stage 7: Generativity Vs. Stagnation n Ages n The adult contributes to future generations through raising children, helping others, developing products or coming up with creative new ideas n Or the adult becomes stagnant and self- centered

Stage 8: Integrity Vs. Despair n Ages 65+ n People reap the benefits of all they have done n They realize that life is temporary n Or the individual struggles to find meaning in life

Another Life Stage Theory Daniel Levinson

Daniel Levinson n Adult development n Stages alternate between stable and transitional periods n Stable periods last 6-7 years during which people pursue their goals and establish a structure n Transitional periods last 4-5 years and adults change the structure

What is Your Stage? n Transitional n Stable n Transitional n Stable n Transitional n Stable n Transitional n Stable

Another Theory: Gail Sheehy Author of Passages and New Passages

Provisional Adulthood n Two opposing goals: n Exploration-Who am I? n Stability

Provisional Adulthood n Age 30 is a turning point n Feel confident in making choices without help from parents

Provisional Adulthood n Challenges n Changing views on marriage n Drugs, guns and violence n Gap between rich and poor n AIDS n Rapid changes in the world

First Adulthood n At age 35 ask, “Is half of my life over?” n The beginning of mid-life crisis

What is mid-life crisis? n A major transition in life in which we question what we did in the first half of life n Adults often make major changes in their lives n What changes have you observed in adults going through mid-life crisis?

What is mid-life crisis? n Adolescence the second time around n Sheehy calls it “middlescence”

What is mid-life crisis? n Half of life is not over n Half of life lies ahead n A gateway to a new beginning of second adulthood

Second Adulthood Ages n Begins with the resolution of the mid-life crisis n Age of Mastery n Age of Integrity

Age of Mastery n The apex of life n People have a sense of mastery and have experience with living n Age 50 is the youth of second adulthood

Successful Aging n Determine what is important in life n Taking an active part in life n Find what you enjoy and do it

Age of Integrity n Have learned how to live life n The retirement transition n Make contributions to family and community

Health and Wellbeing in the 60’s + n Mature love is more important than money or power n Continued growth and excitement about life n Exercise is the most important factor in retarding the aging process

Sheehy defines aging as sageing-the process by which men and women accumulate wisdom and grow into the culture’s sages.

Exercise: Lifeline

TURN YOUR PAPER SIDEWAYS

Start with your birth date 1947

Predict your date of death. Remember that we will probably live to be 100 years old. How are your health habits? OR LATER

Connect the dots OR LATER

Locate today’s date OR LATER 2011

What significant events have occurred from birth to present? OR LATER LEFT HOME 1968 COLLEGE GRAD 1978 WORK AT CUYAMACA 1979 SON BORN 1982 DOCTORATE 1983 DAUGHTER BORN

When do you plan to finish your degree or degrees? OR LATER LEFT HOME 1968 COLLEGE GRAD 1978 WORK AT CUYAMACA 1979 SON BORN 1982 DOCTORATE 1983 DAUGHTER BORN

Project some plans for the future OR LATER LEFT HOME 1968 COLLEGE GRAD 1978 WORK AT CUYAMACA 1979 SON BORN 1982 DOCTORATE 1983 DAUGHTER BORN 2006 NO KIDS 2007 RETIRE 2008 TRAVEL 2009 WRITE 2030 START BAND

What will happen after your death? OR LATER LEFT HOME 1968 COLLEGE GRAD 1978 WORK AT CUYAMACA 1979 SON BORN 1982 DOCTORATE 1983 DAUGHTER BORN 2006 NO KIDS 2007 RETIRE 2008 TRAVEL 2009 WRITE 2030 START BAND My kids will be happy and healthy. Maybe someone will still read my book.

Write 2 Statements: I discovered that I _________. Share.

Thinking Positively About Your Life and Your Future

Powerful Tools for Success n Optimism n Hope n Future-Mindedness

Believe in Yourself n If we have positive beliefs about ourselves, we will feel confident and accomplish our life goals.

Beliefs: Personal opinions about yourself, your life and the world around you

The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy n Our expectations influence our behaviors n The behavior causes our expectations to come true

For Example n If I believe I am not good in math, I may not do the assignment or may even avoid taking math n If I believe I can be good in math, I can take the steps needed to be successful

Robert Rosenthal n Did experiments on the “self-fulfilling prophecy” n Animals n School children n Positive expectations led to positive outcomes

Positive Self-Talk n The thoughts or silent inner voice in our heads

Negative Thoughts n Can be toxic to the body n Can cause biochemical changes that lead to depression

Positive Thoughts n Build good self-esteem n Help us to become confident in our abilities n Help us to achieve our life goals

Pretend you had 3 wishes. What would they be?

Using your wishes, write 3 affirmation statements.

Affirmation Statements n Start with “I” n Include your name n Are written in the present tense

For example: I, Marsha, am relaxed. I, Marsha, am healthy.

Share one of your affirmation statements with the class.

Guidelines for Increasing Positive Thoughts n Monitor your thoughts. Are they positive or negative? n When you notice a negative thought, imagine rewinding a tape and recording a new positive message.

Guidelines for Increasing Positive Thoughts n Start the positive message with “I” and use the present tense n Make your affirmation stronger by visualizing what you want to achieve n Repeat positive thoughts to yourself until they become a habit

Visualize Your Success

Athletes Use Visualization n A good way to practice n Helps you to pre-experience events in your mind n For example, pole vaulters imagine the perfect jump before they make it

Visualization n We create all things twice n Make a mental picture n Create the physical reality by taking action

For example: n In building a house we n Create a blueprint or plan n Then we build the house

As a college student: n Visualize yourself in your cap and gown walking across the stage to receive your diploma

Exercise: Visualize Your Success Draw a picture, make a list or write some sentences. Share with the class

Hope for the Best n Believing that you can be successful helps you to be successful n Hopeful students are more successful

Steps to Happiness n Express gratitude n Cultivate optimism n Avoid over thinking and social comparison n Practice acts of kindness n Increase flow activities

Steps to Happiness n Savor life’s joys n Commit to accomplishing your goals n Take care of your body

Secrets to Happiness Martin Seligman n Identifying, cultivating, and using your personal strengths in work, love, play, and parenting

Happiness = S + C + V n S is your set range (50% of happiness is determined by heredity) n C is your circumstance (8-15 % of happiness) n V is what is under your voluntary control (40%)

What are some examples of factors under your voluntary control?

Seven Habits of Highly Successful People n Steven Covey

Be Proactive n Accept responsibility for your life

Begin with the end in mind n Know what is important n What do you want to accomplish in your life?

Put first things first n Set priorities

Think win-win n Seek solutions that benefit everyone n Focus on cooperation rather than competition

First seek to understand. Then be understood. n Listening is the first step in effective communication

Synergize n The whole is greater than the sum of its parts n Working together as a team, you can accomplish more than each member can accomplish separately

Sharpen the saw n Invest time in yourself to stay healthy: n Physically n Mentally n Spiritually n Socially

Find your voice and inspire others to find theirs n Believe that you can make a difference in the world and inspire others to do the same n From The 8 th Habit, From Effectiveness to Greatness by Steven Covey

More Secrets to Happiness

Secrets to Happiness n Happiness can’t be bought n Happiness is more internal than external n Happiness is not determined by age, race, gender or income n Happiness won’t arrive in the Publisher’s Clearinghouse envelope

Secrets to Happiness n Happiness depends less on things than on our attitude toward the things we have n Happiness is a ‘hookable” habit

Make a decision to choose happiness

Find small things that make you happy and sprinkle your life with them.

Laugh more. Laughter produces a relaxation response.

A good joke beats a pill for a lot of ailments.

Learn to think like an optimist. Assume you will succeed.

Replace negative thoughts with positive ones.

Do things that use your skills.

Fill your life with things you like to do. Remember the 20 things you like to do?

Get enough rest.

Exercise to feel good and to cope with anxiety.

There are no substitutes for fresh air, sunshine and exercise.

Reduce stress.

Close relationships are important.

If you don’t do anything else in life, love someone and let someone love you.

Keep things in perspective. Will it matter 10 years from now?

Exercise: Happiness Is.... Share Your Ideas

Keys to Success: You Are What You Think

What we believe is true, comes true. What we believe is possible, becomes possible. -- Henry Ford

Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny. Frank Outlaw Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny. Frank Outlaw

Grand Essentials of Life

n Something to do (that you like)

Grand Essentials of Life n Something to do (that you like) n Someone to love

Grand Essentials of Life n Something to do (that you like) n Someone to love n Something to hope for

Use the tools in this book to create your success.

This is not the end of the course but a new beginning.

Review the Keys to Success in this book. What is your favorite one and why?

Measure Your Success n Complete the exercise. n Pick up the one you did the first day of class. n Compare your results. Is your score higher? n Staple the two exercises together and hand them in.

Place these in the envelope: Visualize Your Success Happiness Is.... Intentions for the Future Put your name and address on it.

Turn In: Letter Course Evaluation