RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT Creating “Win-Win” Solutions © NLRC1 RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT Creating “Win-Win” Solutions

RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT Creating “Win-Win” Solutions Course Objectives Understand the nature of conflict Review two types of conflict Learn a three-step resolution process Apply the four paths to self-awareness Identify the five conflict styles and when to use them © NLRC2

RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT Creating “Win-Win” Solutions “A good manager doesn’t try to eliminate conflict; he tries to keep it from wasting the energies of his people.” – Robert Townsend 3©NLRC

RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT Creating “Win-Win” Solutions Exists at home, work, society, etc. Cannot be avoided Produces anxiety, anger, frustration Natural part of life Seek Accept Avoid © NLRC4 The Nature of Conflict

RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT Creating “Win-Win” Solutions Types of Conflict © NLRC5

RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT Creating “Win-Win” Solutions Types of Conflict Man Against Self Internal conflict Moral dilemmas Fear/ anxiety Mixed feelings Dual nature Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde © NLRC6

RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT Creating “Win-Win” Solutions Types of Conflict Man Against Man External conflict Very difficult Personality issues “I win, you lose” Disputes Resentment Frustration Revenge © NLRC7

RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT Creating “Win-Win” Solutions Resolution Process © NLRC8

RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT Creating “Win-Win” Solutions Three Step Process 1.Get all the facts out in the open. 2.Do everything you can to understand each other’s point of view. 3.Find a solution that benefits both parties. © NLRC9

RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT Creating “Win-Win” Solutions © NLRC10 “Rarely is Win/Win easily achieved in any circumstance. When you’re dealing with a person who is coming from a paradigm of Win/Lose, you stay longer in the communication process. You listen more. You express yourself with greater courage. You keep hammering it out until the other person begins to realize that you genuinely want the resolution to be a real win for both of you.” Stephen Covey, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT Creating “Win-Win” Solutions One hot Saturday a young couple found themselves facing a major interpersonal difference. The husband had his heart set on watching playoff games on television all day long. The wife was under pressure to finish a research paper she was writing for a college class, and she needed the internet to complete it. They had a small house with only one air-conditioned room, and it was extremely hot and humid that particular day. The television and the computer were in the same room, the only air conditioned area of the apartment. © NLRC11 Activity

RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT Creating “Win-Win” Solutions Four Paths to Self-Awareness © NLRC12 Self Awareness Interpersonal Awareness Clues About Ourselves Seek Feedback Behavior Appraisal

RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT Creating “Win-Win” Solutions Self Awareness Interpersonal Awareness Clues About Ourselves Seek Feedback Behavior Appraisal Intrapersonal Awareness: Take an inventory of who you are as a person. What are your strengths, weaknesses, personality traits? How do you deal with conflict? Are you aggressive, passive or passive aggressive? What are the differences? Are you timid, shy or intimidating? Your personality and behaviors impact the manner in which you deal with conflict and how others act and react to you. © NLRC13

RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT Creating “Win-Win” Solutions Clues About Ourselves: Are you approachable? Do people want to speak with you or do you sense they are avoiding you? When you ask others to do something, are they hesitant, eager or rebellious? How others behave indicates something about you. Every encounter, whether positive or negative, is an opportunity for you to learn something about you. Take advantage of each learning opportunity. © NLRC14 Self Awareness Interpersonal Awareness Clues About Ourselves Seek Feedback Behavior Appraisal Self Awareness Interpersonal Awareness Clues About Ourselves Seek Feedback Behavior Appraisal

RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT Creating “Win-Win” Solutions Seek Feedback and Practice Self-Disclosure: Often others see us more clearly than we see ourselves. Seek the opinion of someone who will give you honest feedback, positive and negative, on who you are as a person and what you can improve about yourself. Practice self-disclosure. Be open about weaknesses and strengths to a trusted friend and to yourself. This process will help you as you seek personal growth and professional development. © NLRC15 Self Awareness Interpersonal Awareness Clues About Ourselves Seek Feedback Behavior Appraisal

RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT Creating “Win-Win” Solutions Formal and informal behavior appraisal: Give yourself regular checkups on personal behavior patterns. When certain elements exist, how do you behave? Do you react emotionally, or do you tend to think before you act— considering how your actions impact your environment, including colleagues and employees you supervise. Take time for formal behavior appraisals designed to help you improve. The objective is to monitor and align your thoughts and behaviors to a higher standard that is exemplary and admirable. Whether you are a manager, elected official or employee, your behavior needs to transcend the ordinary. © NLRC16 Self Awareness Interpersonal Awareness Clues About Ourselves Seek Feedback Behavior Appraisal

RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT Creating “Win-Win” Solutions Conflict Styles © NLRC17

RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT Creating “Win-Win” Solutions 5 Conflict Styles Matrix Compromise AccommodateAvoid Dictate Collaborate Low High EMPATHY Concern for Others ADVOCACY Concern for Self © NLRC18

RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT Creating “Win-Win” Solutions When to Use the Five Styles Dictate  On the few very important issues  In emergencies, for quick, decisive action  To protect yourself from those who take advantage of nice guys Avoid  When an issue is trivial or unimportant  When it is out of your influence and control  When relationship damage will outweigh benefits of resolution Accommodate  When preserving the relationship is most important  When you are wrong, or others’ ideas are better  When you have already lost the battle Compromise  When you need to temporarily settle complex issues  To find a workable solution under time pressure  To break power struggles and take positive small steps forward Collaborate  When you need to learn and understand others  When you want to integrate the synergy of different viewpoints  When you need to find a win-win solution on important issues © NLRC19

RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT Creating “Win-Win” Solutions Summary Conflict is a natural part of life Two types of conflict include man vs. self and man vs. man We can resolve conflict using a three-step process Four paths to self-awareness can help us resolve conflict Different conflict styles require approaches © NLRC20