I have   worked in a trauma room filled with the blood of someone’s son or daughter.  stood by families grieving the loss of a child.   felt the concussion of canons: Albeit only on Remembrance Day or at a fireworks display.  worried for the safety of my family   been threatened by an enemy  said good bye to more than one friend that was a way too young to die.  fled from danger and run toward danger to save someone in need.  looked across a HUGE room of refugees and heard their tales of brutality and the soft cries of the elderly and children.   met a victim of war-time rape, desperately trying to give away the child produced by that violence because her family reject the child and blame her for allowing herself to be raped.  been cold, bitterly cold.  seen hunger and poverty.   seen the oppression of the marginalized by society

What I haven’t done, is experienced these all at the same time; repeatedly day in and day out.  …and there are the atrocities that I can only imagine…you can still smell the stench, hear the cries and feel the arms reaching for help.

I haven’t:  been so deafened by the canons that they no longer startle me or so desensitized that their concussion no longer makes me tremble. wakened in fear that I have slept through my unit moving out.   been too afraid to doze off for days.   had to reconcile being so cold that the nerves in my hands no longer feel pain and also know that it isn’t safe to light a fire.   Lost so many friends that I am hesitant to make another one.  

How do you come back? How broken do you feel inside and yet hide behind that smile? Is the silence strange? Do the petty “wants” “signs of success” fray your last nerve?  It is good that you do not lay with the thousands of others that gave up their breath in the same fields. Although it may not always seem that way in your heart, your family celebrates your return.   How frustrating is it to do all this in the hope that there would be no more hatred; and yet there is more every day?   

“Since the end of World War II, there have been 248 armed conflicts in 153 locations around the world… During the 20th century, 190 million deaths could be directly and indirectly related to war — more than in the previous 4 centuries.” Source: “The Role of Public Health in the Prevention of War: Rationale and Competencies” William H. Wiist, DHSc, MPH, MS, et al American Journal of Public Health, Vol. 104, No. 6, June 2014: e34-e47. We need to honour their sacrifice by STOPPING hate! Condemn evil, help the lost and hungry and provide for those with mental illness. I know we live in a fallen world and each of us has that dark place in our hearts. I know that we have to protect those in peril and I don’t object to that. The whole human race needs to work harder at honouring the dream of those who sleep in fields far from home and those who's sleep is filled with the memories.  Perhaps I dream as well.

It seems so hollow to say “thank you”. There are no words. Perhaps it will have more meaning if I show you that I mean it.