Marriage: Building a Strong foundation Chapter 11

Chapter Overview Introductory “Quiz” Thought for the Week Dramatic Reading Worksheets Facts About Marriage Homework Formula for a Successful Marriage Warning signs of a Problem Marriage

I. Introductory “Quiz”

1. Who and when one marries and if one chooses to divorce is a private issue, not a social issue. False

2. People who marry are “healthier” because more healthy people get married than unhealthy people. False

3. The single best predictor of a successful marriage is the age of the couple. True

4. Marriage ends loneliness. Not unless both partners feel good about themselves.

6. It’s a good sign when a prospective marriage partner says he or she really “needs” you. False

7. When you are really in love you’ll know it. False

8. Others may know better than you if you should or should not marry. True

9. When you marry, you also marry the other person’s family. True

10. Generally, people are better at developing intimate relationships than they are at parenting. True

11. Characteristics most predictive of a happy marriage are such things as: realistic attitudes about the relationship, satisfaction with the partner’s personality, enjoyment of communication with the partner, satisfaction with methods of resolving conflicts together, and agreement on religious/ethical values. True

12. Fixed bedtimes for children help strengthen the marriage. True

13. Having children immediately after marriage helps to solidify the marriage. False

II. Thought for the Week: No Success in life can compensate for failure in the home. David O. McKay

Insert Image Here A Scene at City Hall in San Francisco III. Dramatic Reading Insert Image Here A Scene at City Hall in San Francisco

IV. Worksheets Do “Likes Like Likes” or do “Opposites Attract”? What Keeps a Marriage Going?

V. Facts About Marriage (See page 327 of Text) About 1.8 million couples marry each year. About 1.0 million couples divorce each year. One or both people have been married at least once before in 47% of marriages. In 1969 the average bridegroom’s age was 22.8. In 2000 it was 27. In 1996 the average bride’s age was 20.3. In 2000 it was 25.5. Engagements last an average of 9 months. The average age at divorce is 36 for men and 33 for women. The average length of a marriage that ends in divorce is 7 years. Over 1 million couples with children divorce each year. The average U.S. wedding costs about $1500

VI. Homework: Wedding Budget (See Handout Packet) 1. Choose a partner from this class and write it down. Directions Any questions or further discussion?

VII. Formula for a Successful Marriage Both individuals: are independent and mature. love not only each other but themselves. enjoy being alone as well as together. know themselves. can express themselves assertively. are friends as well as lovers.

VIII. Warning Signs of a Problem Marriage The couple meets or marries shortly after a significant loss. It is an attempt to distance oneself from one’s family of origin. The family backgrounds of each spouse are significantly different. The couple resides very close to or very far from either family of origin. The couple is dependent on either extended family financially, physically, or emotionally. The couple married before the age of 20.

The couple has known each other for less than 6 months. The couple was engaged for more than 3 years. The wedding occurs without family or friends present. The wife becomes pregnant before marriage or within the first year. Either spouse considers his or her childhood or adolescence an unhappy time. Either spouse has a poor relationship with siblings or parents. Marital patterns in either extended family were unstable.