Presented by Connie Moore, DCANG Family Program Coordinator Reorientation and Reintegration The deployment cycle continues

Why are you here?  Make homecoming a joyful occasion  Identify common homecoming concerns  Recognize changes in personal and interpersonal relationships  Identify and address potential challenges  Help differentiate expectations from realities

 The PROCESS is the returning of personnel back into a stable and “normal” environment  PREPARE families for the changes to their home life when the deployed members return.  Remember upon your return you will achieve a NEW normal  Reintegration is a SLOW process What is Reintegration?

Practical Issues  In-Processing –Unit Deployment Manager –Commander’s Support Staff –Personnel Department  Medical –Life Skills Support Center ■ Dental Clinic –Family Practice/Flight Medicine■ Public Health –Family Advocacy  Legal –Terminate powers of attorney –Claims

Practical Issues  Financial Matters –File travel voucher/change entitlements –Gov Travel Card –Family or personal budget –Utilities (phone, gas, water, electric) –AAFES (layaway, Military STAR Card)  Vehicles –Registration and maintenance –Insurance –Driver’s license

Crisis or threat Avoidance Denial Blaming others Fear Hidden opportunity Acknowledgement Action Personal responsibility Face it – it’s constant Expectations of Change

 Possible thoughts and feelings … – Proud of accomplishment – Want to reestablish living situation – Financial concerns – Social life / significant other – Work reunion –Singles are often overlooked ! Reintegration

 Practical tips: –Put your house back in order New roommate New residence –Recognize changes in yourself and in others Different living environment Social circle –Assess relationships Friends Family Singles and Reintegration

 Reaction to deployment by family and friends  Loneliness –Family and significant others –Involvement in community –Develop/renew outside interest  Limit your use of alcohol  Focus on the present and the future  Be patient with yourself and with others Singles and Reintegration

 Anticipation  Changes at home  Trust / Fidelity  Communication  The “Who had it worse” game Marriage and Reintegration

 Intimacy and sexual relationships may be a major adjustment  Re-establish this relationship slowly and naturally  Talk about how you feel or think  Be sensitive to how your partner feels or thinks about intimacy and your sexual relationship Intimate Relationships

 From the desert to the front porch  Redeployment / reintegration…sounds easy, natural, normal  NORMAL may be quite stressful!  Help is available: chapel, unit, friends, life skills, medical personnel, family support center, etc. Stress and Reintegration

 Physical  Behavioral  Cognitive (Thinking)  Emotional Signs of Reintegration Stress

Physical Signs Upset stomach, nausea Diarrhea, constipation Heart pounding, dizzy or lightheaded, out of breath, cold sweat, dry mouth, or pale skin Headaches, migraines Vague aches and pains Impotence

Behavioral Signs Changes in eating habits Changes in sleeping patterns Fatigue, lack of energy Jumpiness Frustrated, irritable, angry Bad personal hygiene Crying spells Avoidance of others Increase in alcohol use Disregard for rules, regulations, social norms

Cognitive Signs Poor concentration Difficulty making decisions Flashbacks Unwanted thoughts Nightmares “Spaced out” or trouble focusing Memory problems

Emotional Signs Loss of motivation Loss of “purpose” or direction Loss of trust/confidence in leaders Quick to anger, impatience Depression, sadness Frustration, irritability Worried, anxious, keyed up Guilt, shame Numb (don’t feel anything) Thoughts of hurting self or others

Significant Signs of Distress  Post Traumatic Stress –Definition –Signs –Recent study  Bizarre or unusual behavior  Domestic violence  Abuse of alcohol  Thinking about suicide

 Take care of yourself! –Mentally –Physically –Emotionally  Communicate, don’t clam up  Develop or renew outside interests  Allow for space and time  Establish realistic expectations  Think positive thoughts  Seek help Solutions

 Chain of Command / Supervisors  Family Support Center  Medical Group –Life Skills –Health and Wellness Center (HAWC)  MILITARY One Source  Chaplains  Legal  Red Cross  Family and friends  “Outside” or off- base agencies Resources

 Normal Developmental Reactions –Infant (Birth to 1 year) –Toddlers (1 – 3 years) –Pre-School (3 – 5 years) –School Age (5 – 12 years) –Teenagers (13 – 18 years) Children and Reintegration

Birth to One Year Infants: Their world is very small Eat, sleep, cry, and eliminate – often! Depend on parents for everything Grow rapidly Senses develop quickly Reactions to parent’s return: Cry or fuss Pull away from parent Have problems with elimination Change their schedule (eating and sleeping)

 Years –Excitement –Very active –Independent –Self Centered –Repeats words and phrases  Reactions to parent’s return: –Shy –Avoid returning parent –Cry, pull away –Temper Tantrums Children and Reintegration One – Three Years

 Years –Very active –Imitates adults –Active imagination –Asks lots of questions  Reactions to parent’s return: –Anger –Need proof you are real –Compete for attention –Act out –Still need warm-up time Children and Reintegration Three – Five Years

 Years –Appetite and growth have increased –High energy level –Daydream –Very sensitive to criticism and evaluation  Reactions to parent’s return: –Joy, excitement –Anxiety of changing roles –Child compete with parent(s) –Desire recognition –Attention seeking –Attempt to split parents Children and Reintegration Five - Twelve Years

 Years –Responsible one minute & irresponsible the next –Moody –Experienced rapid changes –Independent, but still need guidance  Reactions to parent’s return: –Relief –Excited –Guilty –Concerned about rules and responsibilities Children and Reintegration Thirteen - Eighteen Years

Suggestions for Returning Parents  Go slow  Don’t give into demands because of guilt  Observe  Be flexible  Be realistic  Seek information on child development  Communicate  Make special time with your loved one  Be giving of your time and energy

 Custodial parent  Non-custodial parent  Strategies  Communication –Caregiver –Child  Bottom Line: Go Slow Single Parents and Reintegration

 Changes in work environment –Change of work pace –Mission/duty changes  Resentment from co-workers –Added work load due to TDY –Deployment war stories –Not part of “real” mission  Staff turnover It’s all about change

Deployments are a way of life in the military a Stumbling Block or a Building Block The strength of our force and our families depends on you making the right choice