Looking after the Mentor Mentoring CPD & Supervision

Looking After the Mentor In Mentoring Protect oneself from work related pressures Boundary management Boundary theory What this mean in real life Maintaining professional distance Engaging in supervision Protect oneself from ourselves Knowing yourself Personal tactics

Boundary Theory Boundaries define where something starts and something ends Anything that has no boundary has no identity To know what is expectable within a boundary, we need to know what is not acceptable Boundaries help clarify relationships. 2. the boundary creates definition 3. Some of this predicted to ethical guidelines, but some of this is dictated by who we are and what our personal values are 4. Helps to clarify what is expected of us and what is not. We place unrealistic expectations on ourselves, often created by unrealistic responsibilities we believe we have towards others.

Boundary Principles Knowing what something is, isn’t enough. We must also know what it isn’t. In decision making, identifying the Boundary between acceptable and unacceptable is as important, if not more important than making the decision. The most efficient and effective way to identify a Boundary is to approach it from the “wrong" side. “Right“ side tend to be personalized, situational and short term. “Wrong“ side tend to be relational, value based, and long term. When there is no boundary, confusion, chaos or stagnation is created. Knowing what something is, isn’t enough. We must also know what it isn’t.  The best way to clarify the difference is to identify the Boundary between the two. In other words, we need to know what isn’t involved in maintain the boundary or in our case what constitutes boundary transgression This leads on from the last point. When you truly understand what is a boundary transgression, you know what your boundaries are. So we, our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, wants, needs etc tend to rule the wrong side – or boundary transgression. For example, your mentee is upset because they are scared that they might loose their job, you try to calm them down by suggesting that they won’t be made redundant because of X, y and Z. Actually you don’t know the criteria for CR, so we are making false promises. When we don’t maintain boundaries in mentoring we become confused, we loose our way and the relationship falls to pieces.

What this means We need to know our boundaries Boundaries as a mentor As person Boundaries as a mentor Ethical Practice Relates to directly to the mentor’s role Boundaries as a person What you are comfortable with Ethics are there to protect the mentor as much as they protect the mentee.

Exercise In small groups discuss boundary transgressions in mentoring. How many different examples of boundary transgression can you think of? What does this tell you about boundary management?

Professional Distance Professionally Distance objective view point Remain detached, unemotional and unbiased. Without professional distance Too much responsibility Taking responsible for mentees issues Responsible for decisions and actions Could feel like a friendship. Reduce the level of honesty and clarity within the relationship.

Vignette A mentor and mentee have been meeting with the aim of developing the mentee’s presentation skills. During their last meeting the mentee discussed how fear of redundancy had impacted on their self esteem and confidence. After the meeting the mentor felt quite stressed as they also feared being made redundant and the meeting had exacerbated their fears. How could the mentor use boundary management and professional distance to help protect themselves?

Supervision Proctor, (2000; 1996) Normative - the supervisor share the responsibility for ensuring that the supervisees works in a professional and ethical manner and adhere to mentoring codes of practice Formative - the supervisor provides the supervisee with the opportunity to develop skills, theoretical knowledge and personal attributes that facilitates increasing professional competency) Restorative - the supervisor acts as support to the supervisee when personal issues, doubts and insecurities arise as a result of a mentoring relationship.

What Supervision Provides (Brock, 2008) A consequence of working with your supervisor you should be able to protect yourself because you Reflect on the process of your mentoring relationship Become aware of responses or reactions to your mentee that you may not have been aware of previously Suggest ways in which you can look after different aspects of yourself, even more effectively Understand yourself better, in more depth, or from different perspectives Evaluate your practice and the impact this work has upon you and your mentee.

Exercise In small groups discuss how supervision can support mentors. How does supervision protect mentors? What benefits can supervision provide mentors in the current University Climate?

Knowing Yourself To know others we must first know ourselves. If we do not know ourselves our own noise (internal, often unconscious self talk) interferes with the transmission (communication) between mentor and mentee. If we do not know ourselves then we do not know what our weak points are and therefore do not realise that what parts of our psyche we have to protect

Knowing yourself Who am I today? Who am I today in relation to my friends and family? Who am I today in relation to the rest of the world? Who am I today in relation to my job? Who am I today in relation to my colleagues Who am I today in relation to this organisation? who am I today in relation to my mentee? What are the differences in your answer to these questions? Does it give you any insight into how you might feel in relations to different roles that you may have to take at the university. Does it highlight any areas where you feel vulnerable? In what aspects of your work life may you want or need to protect yourself? How might this relate to mentoring someone in the university who is worried about being made redundant?

What are your work related fears? Knowing Your Self What are your work related fears? How have these fears come to life? What caused them? How do they manifest? What aspects of your work life do these affect? How do these fears impact on your work life? Make makes these fears worse? Do these relate to or impact on any other areas of your life?

Personal Strategies What strategies do you use when you are stressed? What formal support mechanisms do you have within the university? What information support mechanisms do you have in the university? What support mechanisms do you have outside the university? Are you willing to use these? If not why?