Lori Counsell, M.Ed., NCC Kate Lepley, M.Ed. New Town Elementary School Counseling Team

 Children possess the inner strength to deal competently with the challenges and demands they encounter each day  Independence  Coping Skills  Problem Solving Skills  Hopefulness

STUDENTS WHO ARE RESILIENT:  Deal with stress and pressure  Cope with every day challenges  Bounce back from disappointments  Deal effectively with adversity and trauma  Develop clear and realistic goal  Relate comfortably to others  Treat self and others with respect

RESILIENT ADULT:NON-RESILIENT ADULT:  Copes effectively with stress and pressure  Can learn from mistakes and failures  Takes ownership of behavior and circumstances  Accountable and responsible  Victims of environment, experience  Can’t move past mistakes and failures  Blames others for mistakes and circumstances  More likely to commit crimes; have mental health concerns

 Teaching Empathy By Practicing Empathy  Teaching Responsibility  Teaching Decision-Making and Problem Solving Skills  Offering Encouragement and Positive Feedback  Helping Children Deal with Mistakes

HOW TO TEACH IT: EXAMPLE:  Listen closely to what children have to say  Validate how they are feeling/what they say  Avoid preaching, lecturing, blaming, and judging  “I know you are having trouble with your math homework. Many kids do. Maybe together we can figure out what will help.” instead of “Try harder.” “ Think: Would we want anyone to speak with us the way we are speaking with our children? How would our children describe us at this moment? How would we hope they described us?

HOW TO TEACH IT:EXAMPLE:  Provide children with the opportunity to contribute at home, school, or community  Help children learn to accept responsibility for their choices, both good and bad.  Allow students to do chores and find ways to help on their own: watering plants, donating to fundraisers/food drives/etc., tutoring others, etc.

HOW TO DO IT:EXAMPLE:  Help children articulate problem areas  Help children brainstorm solutions to problems without giving them the answer  Allow the child to pick their own solution and try it  Afterwards, assess the results of their solution When a child has a friendship problem, discuss ways to solve the problem. Make a list of possible solutions and allow the student to select one they think will work best. After they have tried it, revisit the solution to see how it worked. Reflect on whether or not that would be a good choice again.

HOW TO DO IT:EXAMPLE:  Convey realistic appreciation to children and help them feel special and important to us  Praise positive decisions and responsible actions often  Be specific in your praise– I really like the way you cleaned your room without being asked. That shows responsibility!  Spend special time alone with your children  Write a positive note of love or appreciation  Hug your child often

HOW TO DO IT:EXAMPLE: Relieve fear and anxiety often felt about making mistakes Lead by example- point out a mistake when you make one and show how you can learn from your mistake.  Say, “I’m glad you tried that even though it didn’t work out!”  Read about famous people that made mistakes that led them to be more successful.

Any questions?