Families in Social Systems Families as Systems (4/4) Macro-systems: What are the Forces Changing the Traditional Family? What are the Virtues and Vices of the Traditional Family? Micro-systems: Co-dependency -- What Is the Dynamic of a Sick Family?

Strain on the American Family (review) An indicator: divorce Divorce rates: the WWII spike; the 1970’s – 1980’s bulge; the 1990’s decline. Disappearance of the Homemaker-breadwinner family The 2 nd shift – ambivalent and dysfunctional families. Conservative and liberal explanations: 1. Cultural change: feminism, change of norms. 2. Culture lag: structure has changed, and norms (often male-dominant) have not.

Conservative Accounts of weakening of the family E.g. the Family Research Council : 1. The sexual revolution 2. Feminism 3. Breakdown of moral values Sociologically, to anomie. Politically, they believe there has been too much change in gender norms.

e.g. Charles Murray **** If we eliminate all welfare or other aid from the state, and all paternity obligations (unless the father is married to the mother), then women will stop having fatherless children. Note: the thrust of much of the analysis is to re- establish the double standard. If we allow each community to enforce its norms as they like, The family will become strong, and everyone will be better off.

Liberal Accounts of weakening of the family Other theorists view the diversity of family forms as adaptation to (often intolerable) circumstances. They stress: 1. The traditional family had problems. 2. Cumulating effects of slavery and of poverty. 3. Difficulty supporting a family at or near the minimum wage, 4. Their basic diagnosis: unmet needs and lack of opportunities; “Its jobs, stupid.” Sociologically, strain results from alienation. Politically, they believe there has been too little change in gender norms.

e.g.#1 S. Coontz: The Way We Never Were (1992) The Way We Really Are (1997) There is no “one size fits all” family: willows have different needs and parasites than elms. Ozzie and Harriet was like a beer commercial. We need to “work with what we have got.” People usually don’t take on responsibilities they know they cannot meet. Pro-family should mean pro-child. How little we do for children (compared, say to W. Europe) is a disgrace.

e.g. #2 The Gores Joined at the Heart Emphasizes that the divorce rate has been declining since Argues that the best thing we can do for the family is to celebrate differences, such as blended or gay families. Emphasizes the economic stresses on families Failure to address structural problems such as minimum wage, while privileging the middle class family, merely adds stigma to strain.

2 giant systemic forces Probably irreversibly change the family 1. Structural differentiation Functions that used to be performed by undifferentiated kin groups are better performed by specialized organizations: Hospitals, football teams… 2. Capitalist Labor markets Men left the family farm for the paid labor market in the 19 th c. Women entered the paid labor market in the mid-20 th c.

The B-H family is gone Neither structural differentiation nor the capitalist labor market are going to go away. And they involved powerful forces that continue to operate. We can’t go home again

Both the traditionalists and liberals may be right Both modern and traditional families may be stable and functional. Recall that this is what Hochschild found. Other aspects of the society may be key to which ones work best. The transition from one to the other may be very turbulent and difficult.

Does stigma work? Do liberal child allowances promote divorce? I do not know. I doubt it. Spain, Italy, Greece and Turkey have very low divorce rates, but compared to the US they often have high, unconditional child allowances, and the Netherlands and Scandinavian countries also have much lower divorce rates than the US.

Norms and structure Norms always constitute a positive feedback loop: What many people do becomes normal; what is normal becomes normative. But that explanation just changes the question to why what many people did changed. What is the effect of increasing stigma without changing the conditions of the behavior? Why do norms change? BehaviorNorms + +

Stigma and norms A disadvantage of normative controls is that stigma often leads to secondary deviance. Reinforced by: Unintended consequences Self-fulfilling prophecies Stratification, privilege and power. Stigma Secondary Deviance + +

Other social trends changing Gender roles 1. Life Expectancy 2. Sexual revolution 3. Social equality (organic solidarity, companionate marriage) 4. Education In the last 20 years, economic forces (combined with parents desire not to give their children less than they got) have probably been the main driving force.

Political disagreements about family policy Often the “liberal” view of pro-family policy involves things like wage policies that seem utterly irrelevant to those who view the problem as normative. However, in all times economic forces and changes have driven many of the changes in the family. Failing to address these forces, while privileging certain forms of family may be counter-productive.

Recent forces on women working The driving economic forces of the recent transformation: 1. Many women had to work because nonsupervisory real wages declined. 2. There has been increased contribution of spouses 3. Increased labor force participation has counterbalanced declining wages. Thee changes have been a major force producing dysfunctional families; there is rapid change which is constrained by the whip of poverty. Probably the effect of women’s working depends not only on the family response, but also on whether it is constrained “push” or opportunity “pull” motivated.

Family Systems The Family is an institution which is systemically interconnected with the rest of society. A family is a system with its own internal self-maintaining and self-reinforcing dynamics. Looking at family pathologies at both levels is an interesting case.

The Family as a micro- system e.g. John Bradshaw Theorist of family systems Guru of the self-help movement e.g. 1. The Family (1988) 2. Homecoming: Reclaiming the Inner Child (1990) 3. The Dark Side of the Inner Child (1994) 4. Family Secrets: Path to Self-Acceptance (1995) 5. The Core of Spirituality (1996) 6. The Price of Nice (1997)

The concept of co-dependency If one person in a family is sick (e.g. is an addict) then the roles and hence the thinking and personality of everyone in the family will be distorted. It is often argued that the distortion is: Self-maintaining and self-reinforcing So that children who grow up in sick families have sick families, Even if they are not themselves addicted.

Expansion of the concept of “Addiction” A self-reinforcing, mood-altering, destructive experience: 1. Besides alcohol, heroin, crack etc. 2. Rage and violence 3. Gambling 4. Many kinds of food experiences 5. Many kinds of sex experiences 6. Many kinds of work experiences 7. Many kind of religious experiences.

Distortions from addictions Is it possible for dad to be an alcoholic without serious effects on his performance of the role of “dad?” The same goes for mom or junior The same goes for Heroin, crack, gambling or any other addiction. Probably not. Examples: unreliability, honesty, absence, violence, earnings, consistency…

Distortions from co- dependency Dad 1. Unreliable 2. Dishonest 3. Absent 4. Violent 5. Spendthrift 6. Inconsistent Mom 1. Over-extended 2. Suspicious 3. Controlling 4. Timid 5. Miserly 6. Rigid

Personality traits often associated with Growing up with addictions Fear of abandonment Controlling Trouble maintaining boundaries Dissociated from feelings Reactive Trust problems Compulsive/addictive traits.

The concept of “enabling” Adaptations to a crazy situation will usually help maintain that situation. E.g. Often, until the co-dependent can let the addict “hit bottom” the addict cannot get well. Dad is a bumMom gets a job + +

The concept of “dysfunctional adaptation” Adaptations to a crazy situation will often reinforce the situation. E.g. Often, the co-dependent may have many traits that are dysfunctional and that help generate the behavior. Many role traits are central character traits that are capable of complementary schismogenesis. Dad goes into violent rages Mom walks on eggshells and avoids anger + +

The concept of a “Dysfunctional family” It is a considerable and problematic extension to suppose that many dysfunctional adaptations to many addictions are similar and reinforce each other. But it is probably a useful set of working hypotheses. Note that what is functional in one circumstance may be dysfunctional in others.

Prospect For next week: Review ch Read Pettigrew: “Thinking in systems terms” (electronic reserve) Quiz