OUCH! That Stereotype Hurts & SAY Welcome to Ouch! That Stereotype Hurts and Let’s Get Honest About Sexual Harassment Training. We share a common mission “…we are a team of people dedicated to creating vibrant senior living communities by providing excellent service to all of our customers. The success in achieving our mission is determined by how we work together; how we solve problems; and how we treat one another. In other words, how well we monitor ourselves and treat others with respect and in a manner that is appropriate for a professional setting. We’ll start our discussion with Ouch! That Stereotype Hurts Communicating Respectfully in a Diverse World

OUCH! Goal Explore communication skills for promoting inclusion and respect in the workplace SAY Brightview does not tolerate harassment of any kind by any one including Co-workers Customers Residents Vendors Agents, or any other third party. To help us maintain diversity awareness we will explore communication skills for promoting inclusion and respect in the workplace

OUCH! Participant Introductions Name Community and Position One personal objective

OUCH! Ground Rules Everyone teaches, everyone learns Keep an open mind Respect others’ opinions Maintain confidentiality Prompt return from breaks and lunch Silence phones This is not about me standing up here and talking to you. We have lots of experience in the room with best practices and lessons learned to share. You will richer conversations and learn from each other if everyone participates. Keep an open mind – there may be something said that inspires you to think about something a little differently. We may share specific situations and experiences but please don’t use names. We are all busy and this course represents a commitment that you have made; please put your phones on silence

BRIGHTVIEW CORE VALUES The Brightview organization has adopted a set of core values that have become known as STARS – Service, Teamwork, Action, Reputation, and Success. These principles guide our interactions with co-workers, residents, and business partners; influence the way that we do our jobs; and inspire us to deliver exceptional service to internal and external customer.  

MISSION STATEMENT “As associates of Brightview Senior Living, we are a team of people dedicated to creating vibrant senior living communities by providing excellent service to all of our customers.”

Vibrant people creating vibrant communities BRAND PROMISE Vibrant people creating vibrant communities

OUCH! Objectives Recognize the impact of stereotypes and biased comments even when said casually. Enhance skills for speaking up against stereotypes and biased comments without blame or guilt. Identify inappropriate workplace behaviors and their potential for creating a hostile work environment. Learn strategies to filter your behavior. Describe and use the Let’s Get Honest Three-Step Process. Explain the “reasonable person” standard. Explain intent vs. impact This course is designed to help associates create a workplace that is free from Harassment, stereo types, and retaliation so that we can perform our jobs in a Professional, respectful and productive environment The purpose of this training is to share what is appropriate for the workplace – what should be left at home and what we carry through the doors of any Brightview community or office. The key is guarding our words and actions while in and around the workplace. ASK for a participant to read the agenda/Goals – Ask participants to burn to page 2 in your workbooks for a listing of objectives; ask for a volunteer to read them

OUCH! Stereotypes An oversimplified image or statement applied to a whole group of people, without regard for the individual. SAY You are probably familiar with the words on the next few slides. ASK for volunteer to read definition SAY stereotypes often contain a judgment (i.e., good or bad; honest/dishonest; hardworking/lazy) Give leader example of stereotype

Bias is an attitude or belief. OUCH! Bias Bias is a predisposition to see events, people or items in a positive or negative way. Bias is an attitude or belief. ASK for a volunteer to read slide SAY for example, I have the funniest/most entertaining nephew in the world. I have a bias for my nephew. When I act on that bias, I view everything about him in a positive light. I smile at him/encourage him, etc. I think he is the cutest kid in the entire world. On the other hand, there are people toward whom I, based only on MY way of seeing the world, have a predisposition to think less positively of them. That’s bias on my part. If I act on this bias, I may avoid getting to know anything more about that person or group. I may find myself assuming negative things about them and may never giving them the benefit of the doubt. GIVE LEADER EXAMPLE

OUCH! Terms Silent Collusion - To go along with through silence. Ally - Someone who speaks up on behalf of someone else. ASK for a volunteer to read terms SAY Silent Collusion – If I see or hear a stereotype or bias that has a negative affect on others and don’t say anything, then I support those behaviors through my silence

OUCH! Experiences Describe a time when you… Were exposed to stereotypes in media (TV, movie, music, etc. What message did it send? When you have been the target or recipient of a stereotype. How did that affect you? When have you witnessed someone else being stereotyped. What did you do? We are all from diverse backgrounds and sometimes hearing experiences of others is helpful in understanding the true impact of stereotyping. Leader shares first.

OUCH! OUCH! “The simple act of naming a bias as such or objecting to it on the spot establishes a social environment that discourages it: Saying nothing encourages it: We’ll explore how we respond in the face of stereotypes or other biased comments…whether we silently collude or speak up on behalf of ourselves or as an ally for others. – Daniel Goleman Emotional Intelligence

How Stereotypes Surface Jokes Name-Calling/labels Oversimplified statement applied to ALL people in the group Stereotypical descriptors Personal assumptions about individuals Spokesperson syndrome Descriptors that evoke stereotypes because they are opposite to the existing stereotype Statistical stereotyping Sarcasm Jokes – do you know what happens when you get three ______ together? Name Calling/labels – “blue hair; “computer geek”; “trailer trash” Oversimplified statements – “Young people today have no work ethic”’; “immigrants don’t want to learn English” Stereotypical Descriptors – women are very emotional; crotchety old man; typical white male Personal assumptions – assuming frontline associates don’t have the skill sets for special assignments; Spokesperson syndrome – viewing one person as the spokesperson for an entire group “Gloria, what’s the best way to deal with the Hispanic market? Contradictory descriptors – sensitive man Statistical stereotyping – Statistics show that most criminals are _______. Then treating an individual based on the statistic which can be real or perceived. Sarcasm – That’s so “GAY”, in this case is gay a compliment or an insult?

OUCH! That Stereotype Hurts Now, Let’s Watch the OUCH! Video

OUCH! Discussion How does this video relate to you? Do you see yourself reflected in any way? Which technique(s) do you personally prefer? In what types of situations would you use these techniques? Which situations are most difficult for you? How do you respond? What is the impact of sitting silent? How can you increase your comfort, confidence and skill in speaking up in these situations? ASK participants to turn to page 7 in their workbooks DISCUSS the video using the first three questions

Speaking Up: Six Techniques Assume Good Intent and Explain Impact Ask a Question Interrupt and Redirect Broaden to Universal Human Behavior Make It Individual Say Ouch! Assume good intent – there is no need to shame, blame, or insult the other person. “I know you mean well but that hurts!” Ask a Question – “What do you mean?” – say remember your tone and inflection – avoid sarcasm Interrupt and Redirect – “Whoa…Let’s not go down that path” – this gives people a chance to change direction Broaden to Universal Human Behavior – “I don’t think it’s a gay thing. I think that applies to everyone” Make it Individual – “Do you mean all managers or are you speaking of someone in particular?” OUCH! – this signifies that the words have a negative impact on you or those who you care about.

Key Points and Application All associates should be trained to understand their rights and responsibilities Guard your words and actions SAY back on page 7 look at question #4. Write down how you can increase your comfort, confidence and skill in speaking up in these situations. ASK each participant to share

OUCH! “Communication provides the legs for bias, carrying it from person to person, from generation to generation. Eventually, however, communication will be the way to end discrimination.” ASK participant to read quote – John N. Bailey ABC, Exec. Director, International Association of Business Communicators

OUCH! “We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people.” ASK participant to read quote – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

“We must be the change we want to see in the world.” OUCH! OUCH! “We must be the change we want to see in the world.” – Mahatma Gandhi ASK participant to read quote

OUCH! OUCH! “I am only one; but I am still one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. I will not refuse to do the something I can do.” ASK participant to read quote – Helen Keller

Based on the book by Leslie C. Aguilar OUCH! OUCH! Thank You Based on the book by Leslie C. Aguilar International Training and Development, LLC www.OuchThatStereotypeHurts.com Produced and Distributed by Joel Leskowitz SunShower Learning www.Ouch-Video.com

SAY Stereotyping and bias can also lead to another danger in the workplace – Sexual Harassment

SEX is EVERYWHERE ASK what are some ways in which sexual undertones are displayed? Commercials, TV shows, movies, magazine ads, billboards. ASK Rhetorically - Can you tell me what a sexy woman has to do with an advertisement of 10W40 Motor Oil? ASK if sex is everywhere, why are we expected to leave our sexuality at the door? What is different about being here at work vs at a restaurant or bar? What is different about being at work ahd listening to sexual innuendo and watching a TV show with sexual innuendo?

What is Sexual Harassment? SAY partner with someone sitting next to you and create your definition of sexual harassment. Record your definitions on page 9; you have two minutes for this exercise. You can flip chart the definitions SAY sexual harassment can be tough to define but this workshop is about more than what is or isn’t harassment or whether you need to be politically correct

This workshop is about… Recognizing how tough it is to leave your sexuality at home How difficult it is to live in a sexually charged society but work in an environment that strives to be void of anything sexual How we relate to one another and the complexities of sexual harassment Getting honest and speaking up just as we did with stereotypes and biases SAY turn to pages 10-14 in your workbooks. Please take 5 minutes to complete the sexual harassment pre-test. I will not collect or grade it. If you don’t know the answer give us your best guess. You’ll have the opportunity to retake the test again at the end of the session.

Now, let’s watch the video After the video SAY let’s talk about the video for a few mintues ASK what is one thing you think differently about now that you’ve watched this video (suggested answers It’s hard to put your sexuality on hold; we can be ourselves at work, just more respectful; most people don’t intend to offend others but what matters is the impact on the other person; we should stop inappropriate behaviors and harassment; it’s everyone’s responsibility to speak up) ASK for a show of hands Who thinks its hard to speak up? Why is it so hard

Who thinks speaking up is hard? What is one thing that you think about differently now that you’ve watched this video? Who thinks speaking up is hard? Why? Look for answers like it’s hard to put your sexuality on hold because sex is everywhere. We can still be ourselves at work, just a more respectful self. Most people don’t intend to offend anyone, but that doesn’t matter; only the impact on the other person matters At Brightview, it’s not just harassment we should stop, it’s inappropriate behaviors Speaking up is not an option, it’s everyone’s responsibility whether you are a manager or not.

Get Honest and Speak Up Walk Away Think about what you want to say Go back and say it SAY as an associate of Brightview Senior Living it is both your right and your responsibility to promptly report any harassing conduct that you experience, learn of, or witness. That’s a direct quote from the Associate Handbook. Turn to page 17 in your workbook and let’s review the three-step process to make it easier to get honest. ASK why walk away – Answer: time

What are the two filters discussed in the video? Turn to page 18 in your workbooks and answer the questions. In what situations and environments should you filter your behavior? What is the “Grandma Filter? What is the “Business Filter”

THE GRANDMA FILTER If you wouldn’t say or do that in front of your grandma…don’t say or do it

THE BUSINESS FILTER ASK do you think that means you should avoid any conversation that isn’t about work? Then what does it mean? Responses can include: It means if you have been asking questions about your co-worker’s personal life or if you’ve been discussing intimate aspects of your co-worker’s personal life then you need to filter your behaviors. Our next activity will help us determine what is appropriate workplace behavior and how to use the filters

Are the behaviors inappropriate? THE FILTERS Are the behaviors inappropriate? Are the behaviors potentially harassing? Rework using filters SAY, let’s work in groups of 3 (2 is ok also) turn to pages 18-21 in your workbooks. Review the instructions on page 19 and then complete the activities on 20-22. You’ll have 15 minutes to complete this activity.

Manager Caring co-worker Offended co-Worker SAY Let’s review our responsibilities as associates of Brightview Senior Living It’s the managers’/supervisors’ responsibility to address associate’s inappropriate behavior immediately. Take the individual aside and discuss the impact of his or her words and actions. The easiest conversation is with a co-worker who is not offended (easier than hearing it from the offended co-worker and certainly easier than having the discussion with your manager). As associate’s it’s our right and responsibility to report any harassing conduct that you experience, learn of, or witness.

Getting Honest with a Clueless Co-Worker Who Personally Offends You Neutralize body language, tone, and inflection Use “I” Statements Give an out Ask person to stop

Getting Honest with a Clueless Co-worker who displays inappropriate behaviors Use “I” statements with specifics about inappropriate behavior Give an out Ask person to stop

Getting Honest with a Clueless Co-worker who just doesn’t get it Forget courtesy Be direct, firm, and specific If necessary: Repeat the same words Walk away

Getting Honest with a Predator Go to your manager or Human Resources

Third-party sexual harassment Reasonable person standard Intent versus impact ASK for volunteers to give the definitions of the these terms. Third-party sexual harassment – a pattern of unwelcome behaviors that offend even if the person is not the target of the conversation, remarks, or jokes. Reasonable Person Standard – used by the courts to help determine whether a reasonable person would find the behavior offensive Intent vs. impact – it doesn’t matter what the person meant; it only matters whether the other person feels offended.

Questions? Comments?

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