BULLYING 1 Lucia– How does this make you feel? Not too good does it. Victims of bullying feel this same pain your are feeling right now. They deal with this on a day to day basis. It causes pain in their hearts that sometimes they just can’t withstand. Now, I am going to talk to you about bullying, the types of bullying, share a story of a student who was bullied, give you some strategies to deal with bullying. And before we all leave today we are all going to KNOW and FOLLOW the Golden Rule which is?.... “Treat others the way you want to be treated”.

“Treat others the way you want to be treated” The Golden Rule “Treat others the way you want to be treated” 2 Lucia

Bullying Definition Behavior that is intentional, hurtful and repeated by one or more persons. Bullied students are teased, harassed, and assaulted verbally or physically. 3 Lucia Read definition. Look at the picture of this little girl here. Do you see them in the background. What do you think the other girls are doing? (talking bad about her), (excluding her from their group), (teasing her). Do you think these things are bullying. How do you think this girl feels? She is going to go home from school and be thinking about how she is going to deal with this for the entire school year. It’s not right. And there are students in this school that feel this same way. There are kids in this classroom that feel the same way. We need to stop and think about what were doing and “treat other people the way you want to be treated”.

Did you know? The word “Bully” use to mean the total opposite of what it means now. Five hundred years ago, it meant friend, family member or sweetheart. 4 Penny

Three Types of Bullying Direct Indirect Cyber bulling 5 Penny

Direct Physical – hitting, kicking, pushing, stealing, hiding or ruining someone’s things. Making someone do something they don’t want to do. Verbal – name calling, teasing, insulting, threats. 6 Penny Pushing in the hallway, hiding someone’s food at the lunch table. Teasing someone about the way they look. Name calling. No one in here has the right to call anyone a name that is insulting or offensive.

Indirect Relationship Bullying – gossiping, spreading rumors and lies about someone. Making someone feel left out or rejected. 7 Lucia Which one of these types of bullying do you think boys are involved in? Which one do you think girls are involved in? At one school there were these kids who thought they were the cool kids and they had this signup sheet for other kids who wanted to sit with them at lunch. What happen was kids would sign up and they would pass the sign up sheet around to see who was rejected or not. This is mean and unacceptable and do you think this is the way those kids would want to be treated?

Bullying that takes place using electronic technology. Cell Phones Cyber Bullying Bullying that takes place using electronic technology. Cell Phones Computers Tablets Any communication tool 8 Carla ..Bullying that takes place using electronic technology. Electronic technology includes devices and equipment such as cell phones, computers, and tablets as well as communication tools including social media sites, text messages, chat, and websites. Who knows some of the name of these social media sites? Facebook, MySpace, instagram, YouTube, online gaming, such as Call of Duty.

Cyber-bullying Behavior Inappropriate pictures Inappropriate messages Pretending to be someone else Spreading rumors Harassing text messages Harassing emails 9 Carla Cyber-bullying behavior can include, but is not limited to: Posting Inappropriate pictures or messages about others on blogs, websites, or social media Pretending to be someone else/fake profiles Spreading rumors on social networks Harassing text messages or emails

Yale University (I-SAFE Survey) 42% of children have been bullied online More than 1 in 3 young people have been threatened online Cyber-bullies are twice as likely to be girls. Instant messaging is the common tool used for cyber-bullies. 10 Carla According to a survey done by Yale University. 42% of children have been bullied while online. More than 1 in 3 young people have been threatened online. Cyber-bullies are twice as likely to be girls. Instant messaging is the most commonly used tool for cyber-bullies. What's really different about cyber-bullying is that 55% of victims did not know who was bullying them.

Bullying can be... One person making fun of another. One person trying to beat up another. A group of people ganging up against others. 11 Carla Not only are these things wrong morally but they are also illegal. You can be arrested for touching, or hitting another person if that person says it was unwanted and he took offense to that hitting. Also, can be arrested for disorderly conduct.

Bullying – You Decide? Jennifer recently broke up with her boyfriend Andrew. Andrew is now dating Melissa. Jennifer convinces all of her friends not to speak or hang out with Melissa anymore. Is this bullying? 12 Lucia I have a couple of examples here that I want to read and I want to hear what you boys and girls think. (answer – yes it is social alienation or indirect bullying which we talked about earlier.

Cyber-bullying “You Decide” Julie & Sharon had a fight and haven’t been friends for 2 years. Julie had a picture of Sharon that wasn’t appropriate for anyone to see. Julie posted the picture on Facebook & Instagramed it. Cyber-bullying “You Decide” 13 Lucia Julie & Sharon had a fight and haven’t been friends for 2 years. Julie had a picture of Sharon that wasn’t appropriate . Julie posted the picture on Facebook & Instagramed it. Yes it’s cyber-bullying.

Bullying – You Decide When John walks in the hallway to his class, Chris repeatedly knocks his books out of his hand everyday. Is this bullying? 14 Lucia (answer – Yes) What type of bullying is this? (Direct bullying – physical)

How does it make you feel? Depressed Hurt Alone Low Self-Esteem Anxiety Scared 15 Penny We talked about the effects of bullying has on a person. These are just some of them but there are so many others that I can’t list here because there is not enough room. Depression….This is a big problem among children and teenagers who are victims of being bullied. Anyone know what depressed means? (let students answer).

Kristina A Calco 16 Lucia Her name is Kristina. In middle school she was a 4.0 honor student who always strived for perfection in everything she did. She was extremely artistic and some of her work was chosen to be on the cover of the school yearbook. She also designed some of the school t-shirts. She was a shy girl so she joined yearbook staff and newspaper staff to help her overcome her fears. Even though she wasn’t a good athlete she joined the swimming team, volleyball team and track team. Kristina supported her school in every way. She attended numerous sporting events like basketball and football. After graduating from 8th grade, she went to high school and tried out for the JV cheerleading team. This was written in her journal “Me, Kristina, I made the cheerleading squad for high school! JV too! I’m so proud of myself!” But despite all her accomplishments there were some students who would still CHOOSE to drag her down. You see in Middle school she was tormented, teased, ridiculed, and called ugly. She never told a single adult about what happen. Her friends would have to console her and tell her she wasn’t ugly and tell her she was beautiful. However, the bullying didn’t end she was a sensitive girl who made feel to ugly on a daily basis by her own peers. By the time she was in 9th grade she actually believed she was ugly. Just months shy of her 16th birthday, Kristina committed suicide.

Does it have to be a part of growing up? No Each and every person has the right to feel safe in school and in life. 17 Lucia

Who is a Bully? 18 Carla What type of people are not treating others like they want to be treated.

Characteristics of a Bully Excited by their bullying behavior Enjoy feelings of power and control Enjoy causing pain Can be a below average, average or above average student Lack compassion and empathy for their targets Can be all shapes and sizes 19 Carla

Who is a Target? 20 Lucia There are certain characteristics in students that bully’s target.

Reasons Doesn’t fit in Physically weak Minority Facial appearance Clothing Emotional Overweight Good grades 21 Lucia

Reasons If you usually are alone and don't have many friends. If you don't have a lot of confidence and don't stand up for yourself. 22 Lucia

How to Deal with Bullying!! 23 Carla If you are being bullied you need to report it but when you are in the moment there are some things you can do. There are also some things you can do to try an avoid becoming a target.

Ways to avoid future bullying Don’t bring expensive things or money to school Hang out with friends Avoid unsupervised areas Sit near the bus driver on the bus or walk with a teacher to class Don’t walk alone and avoid places where bullying occurs Get funny Don’t act scared “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”. – Eleanor Roosevelt 24 Carla Bullies seem to pick on the physically weak. Walk, sit or stand with confidence, and do not be afraid to look people in the eyes. Even if it is uncomfortable. There is a saying my mom would tell me when something was difficult for me to do, and it was “Act as if, and become as if” Another, and I’m sure many of you herd of it “ fake it until you make it”

Bystanders Part of the problem not the solution 25 Penny Bystanders are part of the problem not the solution Part of the problem not the solution

Report it to a trusted adult immediately BE A HERO Report, Report, Report Report it to a trusted adult immediately BE A HERO 26 Penny The most important thing you can do to stop bullying is report, report, report.

Report vs Tattling Tattling – Is trying to get someone in trouble. Reporting – When you report bullying you are helping someone else. 27 Penny

Be a Hero Encourage other bystanders to help stop the bullying incident by being assertive. Make friends with someone who continually gets picked on. Report it or send someone to a trusted adult. You are a key player in stopping bullying. 28 Penny Bystanders are part of the problem not the solution.

Why do others LET it happen? 29 Lucia

Reasons The bully is someone others look up to and want to hang out with. They want to “side” with the bully because it makes them feel strong. They’re entertained by the bullying. 30 Lucia The bully could be a friend or even a family member, so they may feel obligated not to say anything.

Reasons They don’t think speaking up will help. They’re afraid that if they say something, the bully will turn on them. 31 Lucia Some of the reasons you may not want to speak up

Some things you can say if someone is getting bullied. "That's Not Funny" "How would you like it if someone did that to you?" 32 Lucia The next question is ( go to next slide) "Cut it out"

Are you a Bully? 33 Lucia

Ask Yourself These Questions Does it make you feel better to hurt other people or take their things? Are you bigger and stronger than other people your age? Do you sometimes use your size and strength to get your way? 34 Lucia One of the ways you can be the best person you can be is to be honest with yourself.

Ask Yourself These Questions Have you been bullied by someone in the past and feel like you have to make up for doing the same thing to others? Do you avoid thinking about how other people might feel if you say or do hurtful things to them? 35 Lucia

How can you STOP being a Bully? 36 Carla

If you are a bully, here are some ways to stop Apologize to people that you have bullied, and follow it up by being friendly. They might not trust you right away, but eventually they will see that you have changed. 37 Carla

More ways to If you are having a hard time feeling good about yourself, explore ways to boost your self-esteem. (Sports) If you feel like you’re having trouble controlling your feelings, especially anger, talk to a school counselor about it. 38 Penny

“Treat others the way you want to be treated” The Golden Rule “Treat others the way you want to be treated” 39 Penny

Credits PBSkids.org Youtube.com Stopbullyingnow.com Jaredstory.com Yale University Somerdale Human Relations Committee Somerdale Police Dept. Somerdale Park School 40 Carla introduces Bonnielynn