Human Relations and Communication

Human Relations The term Human Relations refers to relationships between people. The relationship can be formal or informal, close or distant, emotional or unemotional.

The Basics of Communicating with others Interpersonal communication skills are the tools we use to let others know what we think, feel, need, and want. And they are how we let others know that we understand what they think, feel, need, and want.

What is communication? Communication is the activity of conveying information, thoughts, and ideas. Communication requires: a sender a message intended recipient / receiver

Includes both the spoken and written word The communication process is complete once the receiver has understood the sender.

Verbal Communication

Verbal Communication Exchange of information using words. Includes both the spoken or written word.

Nonverbal communication: Sending and receiving wordless messages Expresses more of the meaning of a message than verbal communication Understanding the message 1. 7% by spoken word 2. 38% by the tone of the voice 3. 55% by body language

Types of nonverbal communication

Humans pride themselves on their seemingly unique ability to verbalize feelings and ideas. While the mouth tells one story, gestures and posture may tell a different story.

Gestures 1. Express variety of feelings Contempt Hostility Approval Affection 2. Can be used in addition to words 3. Differ by culture Gestures should be observed in clusters to provide a more accurate picture of person being observed Each gesture is like a sentence The sum total of postures and gestures relate a non-verbal story

Behavioral scientists have found that some basic communication gestures are universal and believed to be inherent Examples are: smiling, shrugging, nodding Children tend to exaggerate these gestures making their body language easy to read

Body Language and Posture 1. Unconscious barrier between you and the receiver – crossing arms 2. Sign of disbelief - scratching the chin 3. Good health and positive attitude – shown by erect posture 4. Fatigue -slumped posture 5. Angry - clenched fist 6. Anxiety - clearing the throat 7. Assertiveness - pointing finger

8. Boredom - leaning on one's elbow with the chin in the hand 9 8. Boredom - leaning on one's elbow with the chin in the hand 9. Boredom - wiggling a foot 10. Concealing something - no eye contact 11. Defiant - hands on hips 12. Dominance - sitting backwards on a chair 13. Doubtful - touching ear 14. Everything under control - thumbs in belt or pants

15. Expectation - rubbing palms 16 15. Expectation - rubbing palms 16. Feeling superior - hands behind one's back 17. Guilt - lowering the eyes 18. Honesty - open palms occasionally touching the chest 19. Impatience - tapping or drumming fingers 20. Insecurity - biting fingernails 21. Interest in someone or something - tilted head 22. Lack of confidence - failing to look someone in the eyes

23. Lying - touches face 24. Making a decision - stroking chin 25 23. Lying - touches face 24. Making a decision - stroking chin 25. Needing reassurance - hand to throat 26. Nervous - fiddling with items 27. Readiness - standing with hands on hips 28. Rejecting what is being said - rubbing nose 29. Unconcerned - leg swung over chair 30. Unwilling - arms crossed tightly across chest

Facial Expressions 1. Most expressive part of the body 2. Seven universally accepted emotions shown fear anger surprise contempt disgust happiness sadness

Eye Contact 1. Often initiates communication 2. Good contact means respect, a willingness to listen, and to keep communication open 3. Looking away means anxiety, defenselessness, or avoidance of communication 4. Cultural Differences a. view eye contact as an invasion of privacy b. eye contact considered disrespectful

Object communication such as clothing, hairstyles, graphics, and symbols Healthy people with good self-esteem pay attention to dress and grooming People feeling ill show much less interest in appearance and dress

Touch Multiple meanings positive message: affirmation, reassurance, share warmth, approval and emotional support negative message: anger, frustration, punishment, invasion of personal space

Nonverbal Communication Activity Survey of Nonverbal Impressions Photographs

Elements of effective communication The message must be clear 1. Use terms that the receiver can understand 2. Know the developmental level of the other person and use language appropriate to that level.

3. Deliver the message in a clear and concise manner Good grammar and correct pronunciation are essential Avoid slang terms, words with double meanings, or meaningless phrases such as “you know”, or “all that stuff” The tone and pitch of voice are important Do not speak too fast or too slowly Written communication - the message should be spelled correctly, contain correct grammar, proper punctuation, and it should be concise.

4. The receiver must be able to hear and receive the message People may be heavily medicated, have a hearing or vision loss, or speak a different language Use alternate ways to communicate such as writing the message out, using an interpreter, or repeating the message

5. The receiver must be able to understand the message Use terms the person understands The person’s attitudes and prejudices may interfere with understanding Your own attitudes and prejudices may interfere with understanding

6. Interruptions or distractions must be avoided Trying to talk while answering the phone or writing a message will decrease the effectiveness of communication Environmental factors may affect communication, (e.g. uncomfortable temperatures or loud noises such as a loud TV or radio may interfere with communication)

Conversation

1. Control the tone of your voice: convey interest instead of boredom, patience rather than anger 2. Be knowledgeable about the topic of conversation: be honest and confident 3. Be flexible: you may want to discuss a certain subject and the other person wants to discuss something else 4. Be clear and concise: stay on one subject at a time 5. Avoid words that might have different interpretations 6. Be truthful 7. Keep an open mind: others have valuable contributions 8. Take advantage of available opportunities

Therapeutic communication skills Listening Silence Offering Self Reflection Encouraging elaboration General leading statements Giving information Open ended questions

Listening Active listening is a foundation communication skill. It is a primary assumption that the listener is trying to understand the speaker’s point of view or experience.

Key Tips for Active Listening The following tips, though not always possible in a given moment or place, will aid our effort to hear and understand what the speaker is saying.

Choose to listen Be alert and relaxed and take sufficient time Maintain eye contact Indicate that you are paying attention to what the other person is saying Find a good space Respond vs React “Hear” as well as listen Be patient Learn Be kind Follow their lead Listen for content and emotion Ask questions

Silence Take the time to wait for the person to initiate or to continue speaking Allow the person time to reflect on what has been said and to collect thoughts

Offering Self: Can I help in some way? Shows caring and concern Shows readiness to help

Reflection: repeating what the person has said Validating the meaning of what was communicated. Encourages further verbalization

Encouraging Elaboration: Tell me how that felt. Used to elicit information about a subject Helps the person clarify unclear thoughts or ideas

General Leading Statements: Go on. I see. Used to get interaction started Encourages the other person to continue or elaborate

Giving Information Informs the person of specific, relevant information Requires feedback to make sure the other person receives the correct information

Open Ended Questions: “Tell me about your day,” rather than, “How was your day?” Encourages elaboration rather than a 1 or 2 word answer Creates an inviting atmosphere for sharing thoughts, and feelings

Non Therapeutic Communication skills Don’t use cliches – offers false reassurance Don’t use questions beginning with why or how- puts the other person on the defensive Don’t keep changing the subject – indication of not caring and ignoring the other person Don’t use judgemental comments – belittles what the other person is feeling

Communication Barriers Anything that gets in the way of clear communication. Common Barriers: Prejudices Gender bias Attitudes Personality Stereotypes Cultural diversity Physical Barriers

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Mobile Manners: Cell Phone Etiquette

Etiquette A set of rules we all agree to follow in order to be considerate toward others It is a question of awareness of how your actions affect others. Simple guidelines of common courtesy Contribute to a more polite society Just a matter of being considerate of others

The Simple Rules of Etiquette Modulate your voice. Use your “inside voice”: a quiet conversational tone. There is no need to shout into or at a phone. Cell phones have sensitive microphones that can pick up a very soft voice while blocking out ambient noise.

Don’t force others to overhear your personal business. 10-foot Proximity Rule Maintain a distance of at least 10 feet from the nearest person when taking on a cell phone. Don’t force others to overhear your personal business. Bystanders can hear the steady streams of shocking and confidential revelations that are blurted out by cell phone users. Private issues should be kept private. Forcing others to hear your phone conversations is an intrusion on their thoughts. Imposes, infringes, intrudes Keep your conversation private.

Love the One You’re With Avoid taking calls when you’re already engaged in a face-to-face conversation. Gives the impression that you do not value the person in front of you It is inconsiderate to take a call in the middle of a conversation. Never take a personal call during a business meeting. This includes interviews and meetings with coworkers or subordinates

If you must take a call, ask permission of the people with you. The same principle applies when you are ordering food. Give the waiter your attention. Don’t just point to a menu item and shake your head. The same set of rules for texting during face-to-face conversations – it is rude Ear plugs Many are near invisible People cannot tell if you are talking to them, someone on the cell, or your invisible friend

Keep it Short. Keep public conversations brief. You can get back to the caller when you’re not in a public place.

Don’t light up your phone’s screen in a dark theater. Lights Out, Phones Off Put your phone’s ringer on “silent” in theaters, courtrooms, places of worship, and restaurants. Don’t light up your phone’s screen in a dark theater. If you forget to turn your phone off or set it to silent, don’t answer it if it rings – turn it off immediately. You can leave the room and return the call. Just let the caller leave you a message, and get back to them later. No Talking Zones Elevators, libraries, museums, restaurants, cemeteries, theaters, medical offices, and enclosed public spaces

Avoid annoying ring tones. Not everyone appreciates hearing your favorite song or obnoxious ringtones when your phone signals that you have a call. Programming your phone so that a caller will hear a music selection instead of a simple ring tone can be a source of aggravation to the caller. Keep it simple

Hang up and drive. Multitasking isn’t always a good thing. Most calls can wait until you’ve reached your destination. If the call is upsetting, it will affect your ability to drive safely

Technology and manners are compatible. Inform your friends that you have adopted “Mobile Manners.” Encourage them to do the same.

Time to put the words into action…