Working with families in particular circumstances Divorce Parents of Children with Special Needs Teen Mothers Families when Abuse Occurs

America and Divorce Discussion What are some reasons you personally might consider a divorce? Is falling out of love an appropriate reason for wanting a divorce? What were you taught growing up about the acceptability of divorce? YouTube - Divorce affects children!

Marriage and Divorce (2003) 60 million married couples in US 40-50% of all marriages end in divorce Annually 2,187,000 marriages 7.5 marriages per 1000 total population 1.25 million divorces annually 3.8 divorces per 1000 total population

Factors Affecting Divorce Shift from agricultural to industrial society Social integration Individualistic American culture Demographic factors: Employment status Income Educational level Ethnicity Religion.

Stations of Divorce (Bohannan) As people divorce, they undergo these “divorces” simultaneously. Emotional Legal Economic Co-parental Community Psychic

Factors Affecting Divorce Life Course Factors: Intergenerational transmission (Amato, 1996) Parental divorce increases chance of child’s marriage ending within first five years by as much as 70%. Increased risk of divorce is especially great if both spouses experienced parental divorce. Effects are strongest when parents divorce early in child’s life (age 12 or younger)

Consequences of Divorce Economic consequences Impoverishment of women Changed female employment patterns Fewer financial resources for family – often leading to moves to cramped apartments and less desirable neighborhoods

Consequences of Divorce Non-economic consequences include: More psychological distress, lower levels of happiness, more social isolation, more health problems. Divorced people are three times as likely to commit suicide. Some divorced people experience higher levels of personal growth and greater autonomy.

Children and Divorce Children in happy two-parent families are the best adjusted Children in conflict-ridden two-parent families are the worst adjusted. Children from single-parent families are in the middle. Kids' Turn

Children and Divorce Children of divorce suffer: Reduction of income Weakening ties with fathers Deterioration in family life Loss of “residential stability” Problems in school Lower self-esteem Increased likelihood of drug abuse Greater likelihood of becoming teen parents

Children and Divorce Three-Stage Process of divorce for children: Initial stage—Turmoil is greatest. Transition stage—Adjusting to new family. Restabilization stage—Integration of changes.

Children and Divorce Developmental tasks of divorce: Acknowledging parental separation Disengaging from parental conflicts Resolving loss Resolving anger and self-blame Accepting the finality of divorce Achieving realistic expectations for later relationship success

Factors Contributing to Children’s Adjustment Mental health of parents Quality of parent-child relationships Degree of anger vs cooperation Age, temperament, and flexibility of child Extent to which parents are willing to have the same routines for the children in each home

Children and Divorce Adjustment to divorce: Open discussion prior to divorce Involvement with noncustodial parent Lack of hostility between divorced parents Good psychological adjustment to divorce by custodial parent Stable living situation and good parenting skills. Continued involvement with the children by both parents

Children and Divorce Adjustment to divorce: Not all children suffer negative consequences. 90% of children with divorced parents achieve same level well-being as children of continuously married parents (Amato, 2003). 20-25% children from divorced families have problems (Wallerstein)

Child Custody Generally based on one of 2 standards: The best interests of the child The least detrimental of the available alternatives. The major types of custody are sole, joint, and split.

Children and Divorce 26% of children under the age of 18 live with a divorced parent. 39% of divorced women with children live in poverty Civility among parents and assurance that both still love the children is helpful Some need brief individual play therapy, others need family counseling

Behavior problems Children in single-parent or remarried families do not do as well as those in non-divorced households 25-30% of single-parent and divorced households reported behavior problems, while only 10% of non-divorced households reported behavior problems with children. 20% of children in stepfamilies have behavior problems compared to 10% of children in non-divorced families.

Child Custody Sole custody Accounts for 85% of all U.S. divorce cases Women traditionally have been responsible for child rearing Many men do not feel competent

Child Custody Joint custody Accounts for 10% of cases. Joint legal custody Children live primarily with one parent Both parents share in decisions regarding the children. Joint physical custody Requires parents to work out practical logistics …as well as feelings about each other.

Child Custody Split custody Splits the children between the parents Usually girls live with mother, boys with father

The effects of remarriage on children Income is raised. Another adult is there to help. Behavior problems Blending two families presents a new set of challenges

Blended family issues Loyalty is a problem May feel guilty for bonding with a step parent Children often act out, won’t even try to like a step parent. Family must incorporate new parent’s style and rules.

The stabilization period The stepparent moves toward the role of “intimate outsider”, which is somewhere between parent and trusted friend. Stepparent role includes Warmth toward and support of the stepchildren. Little disciplining of the stepchildren. Support for the biological parent. Stepfathers in general tend to be less involved than biological fathers.

Stepmother and stepfather differences Being a stepmother can be harder than being a stepfather. In typical remarriage chains today, children live with mother and stepfather. Typical stepmother must establish relationship during visits. Stepfathers compete with non-custodial fathers who may not see children very often. Often fill a vacuum left by departed biological father. May hold to a lower standard than stepmothers. Easier for children to accept two father figures than two mother figures.

How can teachers help? Maintain a structured environment Encourage expression of feelings Open up areas for discussion… Help children release pent-up feelings Encourage acceptance Demonstrate respect for family uniqueness Be aware of group reactions

Working with Parents Reassure parents Keep requests light Be aware of legal agreements Know available community resources

Working with Parents of Children with Special Needs Individualized Educational Plans Develop relationships based on mutual respect Try to understand the increased stress in the lives of parents Be hopefully realistic Know available community resources

Working with Families when Abuse Occurs Indicators of abuse Physical Sexual Emotional Neglect Reporting abuse 1-800-252-5400 Create an atmosphere of trust and healing Refer families to support groups

Working with Adoptive Families Include adoption in the curriculum Talking to families Talking to children Offer resources