ANXIETY A Parent workshop Sue Fraser / Pat Griffin Primary Mental Health Workers

Aims of workshop What is anxiety? What does anxiety look like? How do I know if my child is anxious? How do I help? Resources / further information

What is anxiety? Nervous, Scared, Worried. Mild anxiety can be vague and unsettling but severe anxiety can have a serious impact on daily life Normal anxiety vs extreme anxiety Generally speaking, anxiety occurs when a reaction is out of proportion to what might normally be expected in a situation Anxiety is subjective.

Causes of anxiety May be more than one cause Anxiety can run in families. Personality type/temperament Difficult or stressful events in childhood: e.g. bereavement, house/school moves, parental separation or disharmony, experience of bullying, friendship difficulties, school work difficulties…..

COMMON FEARS 5 – 6 Years -Separation from caretakers -Imaginary Creatures -Burglars -Sleeping alone -Natural disasters -Animals -Dying or death of others

COMMON FEARS 7-8 Years -Imaginary creatures -Staying alone -Personal harm -Media exposure to “events” -Failure and criticism -Frightening dreams -Animals

COMMON FEARS 9-12 Years -Failure and criticism -Rejection -Peer bullying -Kidnapping -Dying or death of others -Personal harm or harm to others -Illness

How does anxiety affect us?

Physical symptoms “Trouble catching breath” Stomach aches/ headaches Nausea Frequent trips to the toilet/nurse’s school Tightness or pain in the chest Sweating Dizziness or light headedness Heart racing or beating faster than normal Feeling faint Shake or feeling jittery Sleep problems

Psychological affects of anxiety An overwhelming sense of fearful anticipation Constant worrying Heightened alertness and a tendency to ‘catastrophise’ Low mood ( over time ) Feeling scared, panicky Low self esteem

Behavioural affects of anxiety Poor concentration Withdrawal / Social isolation Sleep disturbance Eating difficulties Anger Lacking in confidence Overly compliant

When does anxiety become a disorder? Avoidance Interference Distress

Types of anxiety disorder Generalised anxiety disorder Separation anxiety Fears / Phobias Social anxiety School based anxiety Obsessions and compulsions Panic disorder Selective mutism

What do we see in the school and home setting? “ Blends into the wallpaper” Always expects the worst Excessive worry about upsetting others Asks questions continually Perfectionist Excessive worry about failure Wiggles, is jittery, shaky, high strung, tense and unable to relax Lack self-confidence/seems very unsure of themselves

MANAGING ANXIETY DO Be sensitive Understand your child’s anxiety Give positive feedback Be consistent Seek additional resources DON’T Accommodate the anxiety Single the child out Provide excessive reassurance

ACCOMMODATE = DON’T In some cases, protecting your child from anxiety and/or distress can actually maintain the anxiety vs. reduce it

How can I help my child? Have the same expectations of your anxious child as you would another child (the pace may need to be slower). Build on your child’s strengths (for younger children, use sticker/reward charts if helpful) Let your child do things on his/her own. It is best NOT to do it for your child. Do not get caught in continuous reassurance (What if). Encourage the child to answer their own questions. It’s ok for your child to experience some anxiety so they learn it passes and it is bearable. Your child needs to know that feelings are ok and it is ok to say what you feel

How can I help my child? (contd) Acknowledge your child’s anxiety. Keep your fears to yourself as best you can. Do not minimise or laugh at your child’s fears. Work together as parents to give a consistent message. Don’t confuse anxiety with other types of inappropriate behaviour. Have reasonable expectations and clear limits and consequences alongside love and acceptance

PARENT TIME!! Take care of your own Anxiety Change expectations in time of stress Schedule your own personal time We tend to take care of others vs. ourselves STOP, BREATHE, REFLECT and CHOOSE STOP focusing on the negative and pay attention to the task at hand RELAXATION

Further information / resources 0-19 team School Nurse / Health Visiting work with all families, children and young people offering advice and information to support the health, development and wellbeing of children and their families. Home school link worker Books For professionals only: CAMHS Professional Advisory Line

Further information / resources Surrey First Steps: Mental Health Foundation: Young Minds: Phobics Society: Get Self Help:

Thank you for listening QUESTIONS