Date AIM: How do we revise our writing? DO NOW: Fill in this T-Chart. EDITINGREVISION

What is Revision? The word revision is a combination of the root word vision and the prefix re-, which means “again.” When you revise, you “see again.” That is, you look at your writing again to see how you can improve it.

REVISION BIG THINGS IMPROVE? *Organization *Clarity *Development EDITING SMALL THINGS CORRECT? *Spelling *Grammar *Punctuation *Capitalization *Usage (too, to, two)

REVISION CHECKLIST What kinds of things should we ADD, CHANGE, or DELETE in our writing when we REVISE? *Add details, analysis, explanation, connections, transitions, evidence *Delete repetition/ irrelevant info *Change vocabulary, the order of ideas, the way things are stated REVISION CHECKLIST What kinds of things should we ADD, CHANGE, or DELETE in our writing when we REVISE? *Add details, analysis, explanation, connections, transitions, evidence *Delete repetition/ irrelevant info *Change vocabulary, the order of ideas, the way things are stated

Peer Evaluation and Feedback WHAT should they revise? WHY? HOW can they do it?

Student Writing Samples from the Class

Student Writing Sample High school students today are highly prepared for the world, but that one extra year in high school could possibly be spent taking time on preparatory courses in college type setting. Students get thrown into the college setting which is a major shock to them due to the major differences. Maybe doing this our freshmen's first quarter wouldn't be as much of a change. (Development of ideas is thin with general statements to explain the first idea) Because we have to take the graduation test in tenth grade we don't learn anything that year. We need another year due to that, so we should go one more year to make sure we are ready.

Scoring Explanation Development of ideas is thin with general statements to explain the first idea (Students get thrown into the college setting which is a major shock to them due to the major differences) and very little explanation of the second idea (Because we have to take the graduation test in tenth grade we don't learn anything that year). There is some indication of an organizational structure: a discernible introduction offers two ideas, with each discussed in its own paragraph. The conclusion is minimal and not clearly separated from discussion of the writer's second idea (We need another year due to that, so we should go one more year to make sure we are ready). Transitions are simple (but, because). Sentence structure shows some variety (I would, not because I like school, not because I enjoy spending six hours cooped up inside, but because I could use one more year to just be sure I am completely prepared for college) and word choice is appropriate to the discussion (cooped up inside, preparatory courses, freshmen's first quarter).

Quick Write!! For two minutes you will… Write a paragraph answering the question you chose for your essay. You’re not allowed to stop writing If you run out of ideas…  You can write… “Ummm…, Ummm, Ummm…”

In Groups You Will… Choose one paragraph to revise  To that paragraph you will… Add Change Delete

Essay Structure Thesis: opinion and 3 reasons T.S.1 = reason 1 T.S.2 = reason 2 T.S.3 = reason 3 Conclusion: opinion and 3 reasons again

Reflection ANSWER ONLY. Do not copy…. What did you notice about others’ writing that is also true of your own? Based on what you’ve seen and feedback you’ve received, what will you revise about your writing tonight? Why? How will you do it?

HW Due Today REVISE your essay. TYPE - double spaced = 2 nd draft Required: all 3 kinds of revisions = ADD, CHANGE, DELETE Required: all 3 areas of improvement: ORGANIZATION, CLARITY, DEVELOPMENT. Next class we will use highlighters to show where the revisions are in your typed 2 nd draft. ◦ Be prepared to highlight where your changes are, and to explain these revisions to the class.

Date AIM: How do we annotate and discuss our revision? DO NOW: What kind of revision (add/change/delete ) did you find yourself making most often? To what aspect of your writing? (organization/clarity/development ) How did you incorporate your writing goal so far?

Turn-in Staple in this order: (Top) 1. Goal Sheet 2. 2 nd Draft with annotations 3. Self/peer assessment rubric (-07 only) 4. 1 st draft 5. Research Outline BE SURE YOUR NAME IS ON EVERYTHING