Adult Attachment, Personality, and Close Relationships R. Chris Fraley Department of Psychology These overheads can be downloaded as a PowerPoint file at http://www.psych.uiuc.edu/~rcfraley/p250.ppt

Why Study Intimate Relationships in Personality Psychology? Close relationships Source of joy, strength, and security Source of pain, conflict, and sorrow Many of the goals that organize peoples’ lives are relational My objectives today: Discuss briefly an attachment theoretical view on intimate relationships Review some interesting research that has been generated from this perspective

Attachment Theory as Applied to Infant-Caregiver Relationships John Bowlby’s (1969/1982) attachment theory: An ethological approach to the study of infant-caregiver relationships Attachment behavior and its function The “attachment behavioral system”: an innate homeostatic feedback system for regulating attachment behavior

Separation distress and anxiety experienced Felt security, love, confidence Playful, less inhibited, smiling, sociable Yes Is the caregiver near, attentive, responsive, etc.? Separation distress and anxiety experienced Attachment behaviors are activated to some degree, ranging from simple visual monitoring to intense protest, clinging, and searching No Adapted from Fraley & Shaver (2000)

Individual Differences in Attachment Organization Normative system with variation Ainsworth’s strange situation paradigm Three attachment patterns: secure anxious-resistant avoidant These differences are thought to be reflections of the way a child’s attachment system has become organized in the context of his or her caregiving environment.

Individual Differences in Attachment Organization Secure Seems to believe that parent is likely to be accessible and responsive. Seems competent, exploration-oriented, and affectively positive. Soothes easily. Shows early empathy, communicates clearly about feelings. Solves problems effectively. (Theoretically stems from accessible, sensitive, reliable parental caregiving.)

Individual Differences in Attachment Organization Anxious/ambivalent Exhibits more crying and separation anxiety. Does not seem to be confident that parent will be accessible and responsive. Vigilance and preoccupation interferes with exploration. Attachment behavior has a low threshold for activation. Seems fussy, angry, immature. (Theoretically stems from parental anxiety, insensitivity to child’s signals, intrusiveness, and inconsistency.)

Individual Differences in Attachment Organization Avoidant Cries relatively little during separation and actively avoids parent upon reunion. Engages in displacement exploratory behavior, characterized as “[turning] to the neutral world of things, even though displacement exploratory behavior is devoid of the true interest of secure exploration.” (Theoretically stems from parental rejection and discomfort with close physical contact.)

Attachment Theory as Applied to Adult Relationships Bowlby (1980) and Weiss (1982) suggested that the attachment system continues to play a role in adult relationships. Shaver, Hazan, and Bradshaw (1988) argued that romantic love is an attachment process involving the integration of caregiving, sex, and attachment.

Parallels with respect to Attachment Infant-caregiver relationship Romantic love When AO is not available, infant is anxious, preoccupied, and unable to explore freely When LO acts uninterested or distant, person becomes anxious, preoccupied, unable to concentrate Child desires an exclusive relationship with AO; siblings or other parent may be viewed as a threat to the bond Lovers often desire an exclusive relationship; acquaintances & former lovers may be viewed as a threat to the bond When afraid, distressed, sick, threatened, etc., infants seek physical contact with AO When afraid, distressed, sick, threatened, etc., lovers would like to be held and comforted by LO Distress at separation or loss: crying, calling for AP, trying to find AO, becoming sad and listless if reunion seems impossible Distress at separation or loss: crying, calling for LO, trying to find LO, becoming sad and listless if reunion seems impossible

Parallels with respect to Caregiving Infant-caregiver relationship Romantic love The AO is sensitive to the infant’s physical and psychological needs The LO is sensitive to his or her lover’s physical and psychological needs An AO will frequently forsake his or her own needs and activities in order to protect or tend to his or her child A LO may forsake his or her own needs or plans in order to accommodate those of his or her lover An AO will sometimes put his or her life at risk to protect the well-being of the child A LO will sometimes sacrifice him- or herself for the protection of the lover An AO will feel empathically uneasy or anxious if the child is at risk, ill, etc. A LO will feel empathically uneasy or anxious if lover is at risk, ill, etc.

Parallels with respect to Sexuality Infant-caregiver relationship Romantic love Infant may feed from AO’s breast; nibble or suck on skin, fingers, kiss Lovers may “feed” from breasts, nibble on earlobes, suck on skin (“hickey”), kiss Infant and AO frequently engage in eye contact; infant seems fascinated with AO’s physical features and enjoys touching nose, ears, hair, etc. Lovers frequently engage in eye contact and seem fascinated with each other’s physical features and like to explore noses, ears, hair, etc. Infant coos, “sings,” talks baby talk, etc.; mother talks a combination of baby talk and “motherese.” much nonverbal communication Lovers coo, sing, talk baby talk, use soft maternal tones, etc., and much of their communication is nonverbal prolonged ventral-ventral contact, sleep in same bed

Mouth-to-Mouth Feeding and Courtship

Attachment Theory as Applied to Adult Relationships In short, the dynamics of romantic relationships are theorized to be driven by the same behavioral systems that drive infant-caregiver bonds. This suggests that the same kinds of individual differences that characterize infants might characterize adults.

Hazan & Shaver (1987) measure Read each of the three self-descriptions below (A, B, and C) and then place a checkmark next to the single alternative that best describes how you feel in romantic relationships or is nearest to the way you feel. (Note: The terms "close" and "intimate" refer to psychological or emotional closeness, not necessarily to sexual intimacy.) i>clicker ______A. I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; I find it difficult to trust them completely, difficult to allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous when anyone gets too close, and often, others want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being. ______B. I find it relatively easy to get close to others and am comfortable depending on them and having them depend on me. I don't worry about being abandoned or about someone getting too close to me. ______C. I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner doesn't really love me or won't want to stay with me. I want to get very close to my partner, and this sometimes scares people away.

Hazan & Shaver (1987) measure Read each of the three self-descriptions below (A, B, and C) and then place a checkmark next to the single alternative that best describes how you feel in romantic relationships or is nearest to the way you feel. (Note: The terms "close" and "intimate" refer to psychological or emotional closeness, not necessarily to sexual intimacy.) ______A. I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; I find it difficult to trust them completely, difficult to allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous when anyone gets too close, and often, others want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being. (AVOIDANT) ______B. I find it relatively easy to get close to others and am comfortable depending on them and having them depend on me. I don't worry about being abandoned or about someone getting too close to me. (SECURE) ______C. I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner doesn't really love me or won't want to stay with me. I want to get very close to my partner, and this sometimes scares people away. (ANXIOUS)

Attachment Styles These different “attachment styles” are thought to reflect the unique ways in which people think about or represent their attachment experiences. Want to know your attachment style? Try this on-line test: http://www.yourpersonality.net/relstructures/

Attachment Theory as Applied to Adult Relationships Here are some of the issues we will cover today: How is attachment behavior patterned among adults? Attachment and sexual behavior Attraction and partner pairing The development of attachment styles

How is Attachment Behavior Manifested in Romantic Relationships? Are there parallels between attachment dynamics in infancy and attachment dynamics in adults? What is needed: A situation that is mildly stressful or likely to activate attachment-related concerns (like the strange situation) A setting amenable to nonobtrusive observation

Fraley and Shaver Airport Study

The Airport Study: Methods Questionnaire Observed and coded the behavior of (a) separating and (b) nonseparating couples 109 couples Median age: 33 (16 to 68 years) Median relationship length: 3 yrs. (1 month to 43 yrs.) 47% married

The Airport Study: Sampling of Behaviors brief hug kissed several times before she leaves eye-to-eye contact crying extended hand stretch waves “good bye” whispers “I love you” when boarding watches plane from window massages thigh sitting close together watching game on TV last person to board plane intimate kiss long hug

The Airport Study: Variability in Attachment Behavior Nonetheless, there is considerable variability in the expression of attachment behavior. People with avoidant attachment styles should exhibit less attachment behavior. Contact Seeking Frequency

CONTACT SEEKING AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT 14 SEPARATING NOT SEPARATING 12 10 8 6 4 2 -2 -1 1 2 AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT

Do Links Exist between Sexual Behavior and Attachment Patterns? Sexual activity involves some degree of exploration, novelty, and curiosity. According to attachment theory, the degree to which people liberally explore their environments is facilitated by security Exploration, of course, also entails risk, and the defenses people use to avoid threat may manifest themselves in the way they think about sexuality.

Unpublished data from Hazan

Unpublished data from Hazan

Psychological Needs Sexual behavior can also serve attachment needs. “Make up sex,” for example, is a means for people to reestablish proximity and to build a sense of security following a relationship conflict.

Motives for sex Sex for stress reduction Sex for self-esteem Sex for reassurance Sex for emotional closeness Want sex when insecure Correlations Data from Davis, Shaver, & Vernon (2004)

Attraction and Partner Matching In general, people tend to be most attracted to people with secure-seeming qualities. If made to choose between insecure types, people tend to prefer partners that have attachment styles similar to their own. How does this come to be?

Brumbaugh and Fraley Transference Study People described for us a significant romantic partner from their past. Two weeks later we invited people to the lab for an unrelated study on dating and personal ads. People read online ads describing two people One that resembled their past partner One that resembled another person’s past partner (yoked control) People rated how much they wanted to date the person and how secure they thought they would be in a relationship with the ad person.

Transference Study Overall, people tended to relate to the people in the ads in a way that was consistent with their prior attachment style People who were secure in the past felt more secure with the people in the ads. People who were insecure in the past generally felt more insecure with the people in the ads.

Transference Study Matching effects: People were more likely to transfer their attachment styles if there was some degree of overlap between their past partner and the person described in the ad If secure with past partner, especially likely to feel secure with the person in the ad who resembled the past partner. If insecure with past partner, especially likely to feel insecure with the person in the ad who resembled the past partner.

Transference Study Overall, people were more interested in actually dating the people who resembled their past partner. This is an important finding because it suggests that insecure people, despite feeling insecure with the person who resembles their past partner, nonetheless want to date that person. This process may lead people to recreate and promote insecure relationship patterns from their past.

How stable are attachment styles from infancy to adulthood? This is one of the big questions in the study of attachment Implications for how we think about the enduring impact of early experiences, stability and change, and intervention Unfortunately, Bowlby was vague regarding the issue of stability On one hand, Bowlby argued that attachment styles should be open to revision On the other hand, Bowlby believed that early attachment patterns served as the foundation for subsequent development

How stable are attachment styles from infancy to adulthood? Meta-analysis is a technique used to combine results across multiple studies that address a similar phenomenon. All studies containing test-retest data on attachment between 12 months of age and subsequent ages were identified (27 samples total) Studies classified as belonging to one of five test-retest intervals: age 1, age 2, age 4, age 6, and age 19

Importantly, this degree of stability is constant over time. Overall, there is a weak to moderate degree of stability in attachment patterns from infancy forward. Equivalent to a correlation of .39. (60% of people secure at age 1 are secure at age 19.) Importantly, this degree of stability is constant over time. 1.0 0.8 0.6 Continuity 0.4 0.2 0.0 5 10 15 20 Age Fraley (2002)

Summary Attachment theory is a rich theoretical framework in which to study some of the enduring themes of psychology development, stability, and change mental representation psychological growth and psychopathology emotions the evolution and function of behavior patterns the influence that people have on one another’s experience

Thank You!