Communication and Anger Management

Bell Ringer What are 3 strategies for keeping a healthy mind? What are 3 benefits for having a healthy mind?

Student Learning Map Concept: Communication Concept: Anger Management Lesson Essential Question: How does communication and anger management relate to each other?

Student Learning Map Communication I-message You-message Active Listening Mixed Messages SOLER Anger Management Anger Anger Trigger Anger Cue Hidden Anger Displacement Hostility Syndrome Anger Management Skills Vocabulary

Communication Communication is the exchange of feelings, thoughts, or information with one or more persons.

Communication A person who communicates in healthful ways is more likely to have a healthy mind and body A person who communicates in harmful ways or keeps feelings bottled up may not relate well to others and have a negative effect on ones health.

Difficulty in Communicating Denial: a condition in which a person refuses to recognize what he or she is feeling because it is extremely painful.

Difficulty in Communicating Examples of Denial include – Minimizing a problem – Blaming problems on others – Making excuses – Pretending the problem doesn’t exist – Changing the subject to avoid a topic – Avoiding the issue

Difficulty in Communicating Recognizing and expressing feelings can help an individual understand and cope with negative feelings such as anger, anxiety and jealousy. Question: If you are having difficulty approaching a friend about an issue and telling them how you feel, what else can you do?

Guidelines for Expressing Emotions in Healthful Ways 1.Identify the emotion. 1.What emotions am I experiencing? 2.Identify the source of the emotion. 2.Why do I feel this way? 3.Decide whether or not there is a need to respond right away. 3.Should I talk to a parent, guardian or other responsible adult about my emotions? Should I try to sort out my emotions myself? Do I need more information before I respond? DO I need to rehearse what I will say before I respond?

Guidelines for Expressing Emotions in Healthful Ways 4.Choose a responsible and healthful response. 4.What I-message might I use? Would it be helpful to express my emotions by writing in a journal? Could I write a poem, sculpt clay or draw a picture to express my emotions? 5.Protect your health. 5.Do I need extra sleep? Do I need to work off my strong emotions with vigorous exercise? Am I aware of any physical disorders that might explain this emotion? Am I able to function in daily activities?

Guidelines for Expressing Emotions in Healthful Ways Scenario: It is 7:15 am and you just pulled into your assigned spot in the school parking lot. You put your Dunkin’ Donuts on top of your car. As you put your backpack on, one of your classmates pulls into his spot and hits your car. He gets out of his car, says “Oops” and laughs as he walks away with his friends. You notice your car has a dent in it and paint scraped off. Your Dunkin’ Donuts also fell onto the floor so you have nothing to eat for breakfast. What should you do?

Guidelines for Expressing Emotions in Healthful Ways 1. Describe how you would handle this situation. 2. Explain how you should handle this situation using the 5 guidelines for expressing emotions in healthful ways.

Healthful Communication I-message: is a statement that focuses on a – specific behavior or event – How that behavior or event affects the speaker – The emotions the speaker feels as a result – Example: I feel angry when you were late to pick me up for the game because I really wanted to see the tip-off.

Healthful Communication You-message: is a statement that blames or shames another person. – Puts down the other person – Puts the other person on the defensive – Example: You are so rude and selfish making me late for the game.

Healthful Communication Activity: Complete the I-message hand out.

Healthful Communication Active Listening: is a way of responding that shows that the listener hears and understands 1.Clarifying response: the listener might ask for more information 2.Restating response: the listener might repeat in their own words what the speaker said. 3.Summarizing response: the listener might summarize the main idea. 4.Confirming response: the listener might acknowledge and show appreciation for the speakers feelings.

Communication Nonverbal communication: is the use of actions to express emotions and thoughts. Examples: – Twisting hair= anxiety – Tapping foot= impatience – Smiling= happy – Frowning= displeasure/ sadness

Communication Mixed-message: is a message in which behaviors do not match in meanings the use of actions to express emotions and thoughts. Examples: – A person who apologizes with a smirk on their face gives a mixed message

SOLER S= Square O= Open L= Listen E= Eye contact R= Respond Whenever you are having an in-person conversation with someone.

Anger Management Questions: When you get really angry at someone else, what do you do to cope? When you get really angry at yourself, what do you do to cope?

Anger Management Anger: is an emotion varying in intensity from mild irritation to intense rage that is often accompanied by physiological changes that prepare the body for fighting. Anger Trigger: a thought or event that causes a person to be angry Anger Cue: a body change that occurs when a person is angry ( rapid breathing, increased heart rate, rise in blood pressure, increased sweating and dryness of the mouth.)

Anger Management Question: List 3 of your anger cues.

Anger Management Hidden Anger: anger that is not recognized or is expressed in an inappropriate way. – Being negative – Sarcasm – Cruel remarks to others – Sighing frequently – Depressed

Anger Management A person with hidden anger may experience – tense facial muscles – Stiff or sore neck and shoulder muscles – Ulcers – Headaches – High blood pressure – Weight gain or loss

Anger Management Displacement: the releasing of anger on someone or something other than the cause of the anger Example: a person angry about a family situation might destroy public property.

Anger Management Hostility Syndrome: a physical state in which the body is in the fight-or-flight state at all times. This causes the body to be in over-drive and gets little rest, the immune system does not work well. Lower serotonin levels ( chemical in the brain that regulates emotions. Low levels of serotonin are also associated with depression and anxiety disorders.)

Anger Management Skills Anger Management Skills are healthful ways to control and express anger. Skills to help manage anger. 1.Think to yourself 1.What am I feeling? 2.What is causing me to feel this way? 3.Is my anger justified? 4.Am I still angry? 5.What are healthful ways to express my anger?

Anger Management Skills 2. Use self- statements to control your anger. Examples: I can manage this situation or Count to Use I-messages instead of You-messages 4. Write a letter. 5. Write in a journal. 6. Reduce the effects of anger cues with physical activity

Anger Management Skills 7. Use safe physical actions to blow off steam examples include: stomp on the floor, scream into a pillow, squeeze a tennis ball. 8. Keep a sense of humor 9. Rehearse what to do in situations that you know are your anger triggers. 10. Talk with a parent or mentor.

Anger Management Activity: On a separate sheet of paper. 1.Describe a time when you were really angry. (5) 2.Describe what you actually did in response to your anger. (5) 3.Look back at the Anger Management Skills. (10) 1.Write how you will handle the situation next time, using the skills learned today. 2.Label the skill and apply it to you personal situation. 4.Describe the consequences of having poor anger management skills. ( can relate to your situation or in general) (5)