Guy Fi: The Fictions that Rule Men’s Lives Christopher Kilmartin, Ph.D. ckilmart@umw.edu

Antifreeze. Thanks, etc. I’m going to talk about health and gender. But before I do that, I want to talk about… Antifreeze: ethylene glycol. Propylene glycol costs 5 times as much and wears out quicker so it’s not a very effective solution--literally. If you frame the problem as it’s toxic to pets, the solution is to find a non-toxic antifreeze. If you frame it as dogs and cats drink this toxic substance, the solution is to get them not to drink it (embittering solution costs 1.5 cents per gallon). So pets smell it and think “THAT’s not going to taste good.” Actually, I don’t know what dogs and cats think but the point, and I do have one, is that people tend to associate creative problem solving with idea production, but problem definition is at least as critical as idea production. If you’re not coming up with the answers, try to find a different way to ask the question. So what I’m going to do is give you a framework to think about some issues, and I’m hoping that it will stimulate different questions in you than the ones you are used to asking. I’ll frame some of these questions at the end.

The Mars and Venus Fiction All men are alike. All women are alike. All men are different from all women.

The Gender Belongs Everywhere Fiction Drinks Mannerisms Goals in life Preferred activities Colors Ways of talking

Violence Fictions Men are naturally violent. It’s natural for men to fight. Men can’t help themselves when they get angry. Women like “bad boys.” Violence solves problems.

Emotional Fictions Tear ducts on men are like nipples on men. Men have to deal with their feelings in places outside of themselves. Manly is as manly does.

Where do these fictions come from? The marketplace: What is being sold as a: Product? Lifestyle? Identity? Life script? How is the product made desirable, e.g., with visual strategies?

Marketers want everything to be for sale Identity Sexuality Self-esteem Relationship quality Happiness Competence Self-confidence

Where do these fictions come from? Historical Hangover.

Masculinity, Athletics, and Drinking Confirmatory and Compensatory drinking. “Putting up numbers.” Goal setting. Competition. Social Pressure. Confirmatory: drinking is part of masculine performance. Compensatory: handling problems outside of the self. Putting up numbers/goal setting: sports are all about counting things and reaching a goal – winning the game or killing the keg (also a factor in sexual assault). Competition: good reasons and bad reasons to drink. Drinking games are inherently coercive and turn a social occasion into a sport, creating further Social pressure (Captain America story and bystander apathy).

How does this relate to your work? Men abuse alcohol twice as often as women and abuse other drugs four times as often. Male student athletes abuse substances at a higher rate than those in the general population. Men are more likely than women underestimate risks to their health. Men engage in much more violence and other risk behaviors than women. Gender is a better predictor of negative health outcomes than sex.

What is gender? The social pressure to behave and experience the self in ways that the culture defines as appropriate for your body. It is very difficult to resist a pressure that you cannot name. We are not doing a good job of naming it for men.

Gender is a significant factor, yet: It is rarely addressed in discussions of health behavior. Resetting “default options” requires: Knowledge. Motivation. Skill.

We need to teach men to resist gender pressure when: It conflicts with an important life goal. It hurts another person. When do we invest time and energy in learning a skill? When we value the outcome.

Preparing for the future NCAA goal is to focus on the whole person, not just the athlete. Which men will be able to use their fathers’ and grandfathers’ formulas to deal with work and family pressures? Few, other than those who become professional athletes. Sending college students out into the world without gender awareness is like sending them out without computer skills. Men who cling to archaic versions of masculinity run the risk of being left behind.

Remember the Antifreeze: New Questions How can we educate athletes generally about cultural pressure and specifically about gender pressure? How can we incorporate masculine gender awareness into our current efforts? How can we bring this information to athletes with compassion and empathy? How can we educate coaches and support staff about the importance of gender? How can we redefine positive aspects of the masculine role: courage, independence, loyalty? e.g., the use of antifeminine taunts to motivate players: “let’s go ladies; take off your skirt and play like a man” Note that coaches of women do not say “shave that goatee and play like a real woman.” What kind of attitude towards women are these coaches communicating? And what is the effect of communicating to players that entire groups of people are not worthy of equal status to you? And how are we preparing them for a future in which they will be working and for most of them, living with women? Shane Groh story. How can we train players to intervene as bystanders when they see dangerous behaviors or attitudes?