Emotional Development from 1-3

Emotional Patterns Toddlers go through periods of negativism and rebellion, and happiness, calmness, and stability – Negativism- doing the opposite of what others want

18 Months Primarily self-centered- they think about their own needs and wants – caregivers begin to teach the child that some desires will not be met immediately, and some never met Spoken instructions are not always successful – favorite word is “No” Negativism has a number of causes – the desire for independence could say no for things they don’t or do want – frustration results from not being able to express body language – the child’s realization of being a separate person is exciting and frightening

18 months continued These negativisms can produce a battle between caregiver and child Positive guidance can help caregivers handle a negative child: – give choices- give no more than two alternatives ex: picking up toys can become a game – redirect the child- take the attention off the issue that is causing the negative response – encourage talking- help children learn to use words Temper tantrums start to occur which can include screaming, crying, kicking, pounding, hold their breath, etc

2 Years Speech and motor skills have improved which helps relieve some frustration Expresses love and affection freely, seeks approval and praise Are more outgoing and friendly and less self-centered

2 ½ Years Not as easily distracted anymore They know what they want to say but can’t always be understood Have a strong drive for independence – often resist pressures to conform – independence and maturity clash They can be stubborn, demanding, and domineering; moods change rapidly Have a need for consistency

3 Years Generally cooperative and are learning to be considerate More willing to take directions from others – will modify behavior to win praise and affection Much better at talking and love to do it

3 ½ Years Become very insecure – some parents feel that the child is going backward rather than forward emotionally Fears are common at this age – dark, loud noises, strangers Emotional tension and insecurity show up in physical ways too – may start habits such as thumb sucking, nail biting, or nose picking to relieve tension – others may stumble or stutter when they talk They try to ensure their own security by controlling their environment – can issue insistent demands

Practice Parenting Identify how you as the child’s caregiver would react and offer each child a choice: – Jodie wants to wear a new shirt while working in the garden – Michael wants to eat candy for breakfast – Bobby wants the toy that John is using – Claire still has all of her food on her plate at dinner, and asks for a second cup of juice

Handling Temper Tantrums Read page 382 in the book. Answer questions 1 & 2.

Specific Emotions in 1-3 Years

Anger Anger is usually the child’s way of reacting to frustration Three year olds are less violent and explosive and less likely to use hitting or kicking – Use name-calling and pouting Target of anger changes – 18 month old who has a tantrum does not direct the anger toward a particular person or thing – 2 and 3 year olds are more than likely to aim their anger at the object or person that is responsible for the frustration

Anger continued Anger is more frequent in anxious and insecure children, as well as those who haven’t learned self control Children whose parents are overly critical or inconsistent become frustrated easily and show anger Caregivers must remember to respond to a child’s anger in a controlled way

Fear One year olds may be frightened of high places, strangers, and loud noises Three year olds may be frightened of the dark, animals, and storms An adult’s fear may rub off on the children Separation anxiety- a fear of being away from parents, caregivers, or their normal environment – Takes place between the 1st and 4th birthday – Children will grow out of it – Can cause trouble going to sleep at night, bedtime routine helps – Nightmares can occur asking the child to describe the nightmare can help

Write about a fear you had as a child. Explain how it came about and how you learned to overcome it. What did your parents do to help you overcome it?

Suggestions to Help Deal with Fears of Toddlers Offer support and understanding, avoid shaming Encourage the child to talk about the fears, admitting to them can help them go away Sometimes it is best to accept the fear and avoid forcing the child to confront it, sometimes it will go away on its own Read books together about a child that experiences fear Make unfamiliar situations more secure Teach the child how to control frightening situations

Jealousy Becomes more recognizable in the second year – Reaches peak at age 3 May resent affection between parents Sibling rivalry- competition between brothers and sisters for parents’ affection and attention – Can happen when a new baby is born – Toddler might show off, act in inappropriate ways, or revert back to baby like behaviors the child may need more affection and reassurance Steps a parent can take to cut down on sibling rivalry – Make sure the children know they are loved – Set aside time to be with each child – Avoid comments that compare one child to another – Make clear that you will not accept one child tattling to get the other in trouble

How can the number of siblings and/or birth order affect a child’s experiences with jealousy? Write about a time you were jealous of a sibling.

Love and Affection Relationships that children have with others forms their capacity for love and affection later in life Relationships between children and parents should be strong but not smothering A child who depends too much on caregivers has difficulty forming other relationships

Empathy The ability to put oneself in another’s place Caregivers can teach children empathy – Ex: if the child does something to hurt another child’s feelings, tell the child to apologize

Individual Differences Each child is unique A child’s temperament is a factor in emotions

Developing a Positive Self-Concept How they see themselves – Can be positive- if you see yourself as a good person, capable, and can control emotions – Can be negative- if you see yourself as a bad person, incapable, or loses emotional control A child forms their self concept in response to actions, attitudes, and comments to others Mastery of skills helps build self concept

How can a child’s self-concept be affected if a parent’s expectations are unreasonably high or low? What can parents do to develop reasonable expectations?

Evaluating Emotional Adjustment The signs of a healthy relationship between parents and child: – Child seeks approval and praise – Child turns to parents for comfort and help – Child tells parents about significant events – Child accepts discipline and limits without unusual resistance

Activity Write down your self-concept- what you think you are like. With each idea you write down, try to determine when in your life it arose.

Social Development 1-3

Brainstorming Think back to your first friendship. Do you remember who that person was? How did the friendship begin? Are you still friends with that person?

General Social Patterns Socialization- learning how to get along with others Learn certain social skills at different ages

18 months Parallel play- play independently near, but not actually with, another child – Could result in conflicts involving screaming, hitting, biting, or hair pulling Able to understand that their actions have consequences for others – Ex: A child hits another child and that child cries, child that hit can see they caused the upset

Two Years Good at understanding and interacting with main caregiver Like to have someone to play with, but still engage in parallel play Understand sharing and taking turns

Thinking…. What can a stay at home mom of a 2 year old do to give the child more opportunities to interact with other people?

2 ½ Years Negativism carries into social development Respond to idea of fairness, but often concerned with what is more fair to them first Can have fights, but brief, if in groups of more than 2

3 Years Usually agreeable with others Will share, help, and do things another person’s way to please someone Cooperative play- paying with one another Can work together in small groups Seek friends on their own

3 ½ Years More complex and includes more conversation Use different strategies to solve conflicts Take more notice of what other children are like Compare themselves with other children

Activity Create 3 colored drawings of toys or activities that would encourage cooperative play among 3-4 year olds. With each drawing, list why it is an example of cooperative play.

Making Friends Comfortable and friendly with others and has at least one friend is usually developing normally Should be able to interact with others besides adults by school age

Imaginary Friends Start as early as age 2 More common from ages 3-4 Can use imaginary friend to talk about experiences

Guiding Toddlers-helps learn self- discipline 8-12 months: inappropriate behavior can be controlled by distraction months: distraction and physically removing months: require distraction, removal, and spoken restrictions 2-3 years: respond to spoken commands and explanations 3-4 years: take reasonable and loving guidance more easily because they like to please

Promoting Sharing Lead them to activities where they need to share Limit materials for an activity Use children to pass out snacks Make clear what behavior you’re trying to promote