What Are Emotions? Made up of four components: Physiological Feelings Nonverbal Reactions Cognitive Interpretations Verbal Expressions

Physiological Feelings Strong Emotions trigger bodily changes Increased heart rate Rise in BP Slowing of digestion Physiological messages can offer clues to your emotions once you become aware of them

Nonverbal Reactions Not all physical changes accompany emotions Easy to tell when one experiences a strong emotion, but hard to determine the exact emotion being conveyed Facial expressions mimic feelings

Cognitive Interpretations Our minds play an important role in determining how we feel What we think determines our particular feeling.

Verbal Expressions We cannot always rely on perceptiveness to make sure the message is conveyed appropriately Emotional intelligence

Types of Emotions

Emotional Intelligence The ability to recognize which feelings are appropriate in which situations and the skill to communicate those feelings effectively.

Typical Emotions Anger Anxiety Content Disgust Fear Gratitude Guilt

Typical Emotions Happiness Jealousy Joy Pleasure Relief Sadness Surprise

Influences on Emotion

Major Influences Personality Culture Biological Sex and Gender Power Social Conventions Social Roles Fear of Disclosure Emotional Contagion

Personality Extroverted vs. Introverted Neurotic vs. Non-neurotic

Culture Universal expression of emotions Situational Differences happiness sadness surprise anger disgust fear Situational Differences Degree of Expression Differences

Culture Continued... Ethnicity Individualism vs. Collectivism Blacks Asians Whites Individualism vs. Collectivism external display internal experience Data from study

Biological Sex and Gender Women more attuned better memories of emotional images more intense reactions larger range of emotions Men Reveal positive emotions (NOT negative ones) More likely to disclose to women

Power The less powerful individual is more aware of emotions of the more powerful person Intimidation factor

Social Conventions direct expression of emotions ex. United States indirect expression of emotions ex. Japan Individualism-Collectivism impacts??

Social Roles Emotional usage is decreased due to acceptable social roles. One loses the ability to show certain emotions when they are continually repressed.

Fear of Self-Disclosure Example: It’s hard for a boss to admit when he/she is wrong Those that disclose can be misunderstood Affection = romantic invitation Uncertainty = weakness Honesty can cause discomfort Honesty can be used against you

Emotional Contagion Definition: When one becomes influenced by the emotions of others around them. Varying degrees Fast process with no verbal communication needed.

Others… EVERYTHING influences emotion!! Religion, individual personal experiences etc.

Regardless of influences on emotions, there are healthy and unhealthy ways to express them. The next section looks into the guidelines of healthy emotional expressions.

Guidelines for Expressing Emotions Advice and Techniques for Effective Emotional Expression

Effects of Emotional Expression Emotional expression has a tremendous effect on health and well-being. Physiological effects Relational effects

Physiological Effects Emotional suppression increases risk of physical problems such as, cancer, asthma, heart disease (DeAngelis, 1992). Emotional inhibition also causes a increased risk for psychological problems, such as, anxiety or depression (Krause et al., 2003). Overly aggressive expression can lead to high blood pressure and increased stress (Mayne, 1993). A healthy balance is key.

Relational Effects Pent-up emotions are harder to control and more likely to be expressed violently. Lack of expression leads to relationship stagnation. Healthy emotional expression increases intimacy, promotes relationship growth, and allows problems to be fixed before they escalate.

Steps to Healthy Emotional Expression Recognize Your Feelings. Choose the Best Language. Share Multiple Feelings. Recognize the Difference Between Feeling and Acting. Accept Responsibility for Your Feelings. Choose the Best Time and Place.

Recognize Your Feelings Pay attention to your body. Know your “emotional triggers”. Don’t underestimate the importance of feelings. Watch your gestures.

Choose the Best Language “Wanting” isn’t the same thing as “feeling”. Don’t rely on common adjectives. Be specific. Use metaphors or examples. State the cause of the emotion when possible.

Share Multiple Feelings Feelings are all related. Same event can cause many different emotions. Express as many emotions as possible. Don’t be afraid to elaborate.

Recognize the Difference Between Feeling and Acting Don’t try to be a hero. Don’t pretend to feel something you don’t. Simply acting on feelings does not always alleviate them. Feelings do not always have to lead to action.

Accept Responsibility for Your Feelings Don’t blame others for your feelings in your expression, even if they are the cause. Don’t try to hide or cover up your feelings to please someone else.

Choose the Best Time and Place Give yourself some time to prepare. Plan out what you are going to say; write it down if you like. Don’t have an emotional discussion when you are tired, sick, or under severe stress. Devote the necessary time. Make sure the other person is prepared to listen.

When Not to Express Emotions If you are sure you will have difficulty controlling your emotions. If the other person is unable to listen at that moment. If the consequences might be worse than dealing with the emotions (authority figure). Look for an indirect route. Enlist a third party or mediator.

Expressing Positive Emotions Most people associate emotional expression with problems or difficulties. Happiness is also an emotion. Feel free to express happiness, confidence, success and contentment. Praise and complement your significant other when you are proud of them. Surround yourself with people who will be happy for you. Must be aware of the time and place!

Summary Emotional expression is healthy and necessary for good relationships. Know how you feel and why you feel it. Express your emotions calmly and specifically. “Acting out” isn’t necessary. Choose your time and place carefully. Don’t be afraid to express positive emotions!

It is true that healthy emotional expression can be more difficult for certain emotions The next section involves a wide range of feelings that affect our communication skills.

Managing Difficult Emotions

Facilitative and Debilitative Emotions Facilitative Emotions- emotions that contribute to effective functioning Debilitative Emotions- emotions that hinder or prevent effective performance

Characteristics of Debilitative Emotions Intensity Duration

Irrational Thoughts That Can Lead to Debilitative Emotions Fallacy of Perfection- A communicator should handle all situations well Very inspiring, but unrealistic

Irrational Thoughts That Can Lead to Debilitative Emotions Fallacy of Approval- A communicator has to constantly obtain everyone’s approval Communicator sacrifices their own principles and/or happiness

Irrational Thoughts That Can Lead to Debilitative Emotions Fallacy of Should- A communicator doesn’t distinguish between what is and what should be Communicator often wants others to behave differently

Irrational Thoughts That Can Lead to Debilitative Emotions Fallacy of Overgeneralization- A communicator doesn’t distinguish between what is and what should be Communicator often wants others to behave differently

Irrational Thoughts That Can Lead to Debilitative Emotions Fallacy of Causation- A communicator feels they shouldn’t do anything to hurt or inconvenience others Often communicator’s needs are overlooked

Irrational Thoughts That Can Lead to Debilitative Emotions Fallacy of Helplessness- Forces beyond a communicators control determine their satisfaction Causes the communicator to feel like a victim

Irrational Thoughts That Can Lead to Debilitative Emotions Fallacy of Catastrophic Expectations- A communicator believes if something bad can happen, it will Causes ruminations of thoughts and feelings

How to Minimize Debilitative Emotions Monitor your emotional reactions Note activating/triggering events Specific people Specific events Dispute irrational events Why they are irrational events Why your have them

References Adler, R.B., Rosenfeld, L.B., & Proctor, R.F. (2004). Interplay: The Process of Interpersonal Communication (9th ed.). New York: Oxford University Press. DeAngelis, T. (1992). Illness linked with repressive style of coping. APA Monitor, pp. 14-15. Krause, E.D., Mendelson, T. & Lynch, T.R. (2003). Childhood emotional invalidation and adult psychological distress: The mediating role of emotional inhibition. Child Abuse and Neglect, 27(2), p 199-214. Mayne, T.J. (1999). Negative affect and health: The importance of being earnest. Cognition and Emotion, 13(5), pp. 201-236.