Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel Northwestern University Do Men and Women Show Evidence of Reciprocal Liking While Speed-dating? Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel Northwestern University

Reciprocity and Attraction (non-romantic) Early studies: We tend to like people who like us (Backman & Secord, 1959) David Kenny: 2 ways to measure reciprocity of liking Dyadic – If I uniquely like you, do you uniquely like me? Generalized – Are “likers” also liked in turn? The answer to both is typically “yes”

Reciprocity and Attraction (non-romantic) From Kenny (1994) Study Generalized Dyadic First Encounters: One on one Burleson (1983) .27 .26 Chapdelaine, Kenny, & LaFontana (1994) .58 .42 Kenny & Bernstein (1982) xx .29 First Encounters: Groups Dabbs & Ruback (1987) .36 .13 Kashy (1988) .09 .28 Park & Flink (1989) -.10 .18 Long-term acquaintance .12 .49 Curry & Emerson (1970) -.26 .48 Malloy & Albright (1990) .75 Newcomb (1961) Wright, Ingraham, & Blackner (1985) .74 r =.43 r =.32 I’ll explain more about speed-dating later, but it’s basically the romantic equivalent of a blocked one-on-one design.

Reciprocity and Attraction (romantic) Participants’ recall of falling-in-love experiences typically involve reciprocity Ex: finding out the potential partner was interested in you (Aron, Dutton, Aron, & Iverson 1989) But it could still be as (or more) common that we are uninterested in the people who like us What about playing “hard to get”? (Walster et al., 1973) Aron really only gets at half the story – what about all the times you learned about someone’s liking and you didn’t like them back?

Romantic vs. Platonic Liking An individual who demonstrates platonic liking for many others is likable (Folkes & Sears, 1977) “Likers” are typically nice people, so they are liked in return But an individual who demonstrates romantic liking for many others? This may come across as unselective or even desperate

Hypotheses In a purely romantic context… Dyadic – Unique liking will be reciprocated (a positive correlation as in previous research) Generalized – Likers will be disliked (a negative correlation unlike previous research) Should correlate with measures of desperation In other words, dyadic vs. generalized no longer operate in the same direction

Method – Speed-dating 163 Northwestern undergraduates Completed a 30-minute background questionnaire online prior to the event Met 9-13 opposite sex individuals for 4 minutes each Completed a ~2 minute questionnaire after each date After returning home, participants “yes” or “no” the other participants online “Matches” can email one another through web portal

Method – Measures (after each date) Romantic Desire I really liked my interaction partner I was sexually attracted to my interaction partner I am likely to say “yes” to my interaction partner Chemistry – My interaction partner and I… …seemed to have a lot in common …seemed to have similar personalities …had a real connection Perceived Romantic Desire I think that my interaction partner really liked me I think that my interaction partner was sexually attracted to me Perceived Unselectivity To what percentage of the other people here today will this person say “yes”?

Method - Measures The Social Relations Model – actor, partner, and relationship effects Actor effect: Average amount Laura liked her dates Partner effect: Average amount Laura was liked by her dates Relationship effects: The amount Laura liked each particular date independently of her actor effect and her date’s partner effect

Results - Variance partitioning Sex Variable Actor Partner Relationship Men Desire .09 .27 .35 Chemistry .19 .11 .45 Perceived Desire .25 .10 .37 Perceived Unselectivity .53 – e Women .16 .31 .13 .21 .26 .07 .42 .34 .02 .64 – e

Results – Dyadic Effects Romantic Desire (BA) (relationship) Chemistry (BA) (relationship) Perceived Desire (BA) (relationship) Romantic Desire (AB) (relationship) - Men .14** .17** .17* Romantic Desire (AB) (relationship) - Women .14** .23*** .22**

Results – Generalized Effects Romantic Desire (Partner) Chemistry (Partner) Perceived Desire (Partner) Romantic Desire (Actor) - Men -.42† -.39 -.03 Romantic Desire (Actor) - Women Remind them of the platonic finding here -.42** -.30† -.12 Assumed reciprocity (Romantic desire actor with perceived desire actor) r = ~.33 Generalized reciprocity correlation still negative and significant controlling for coder-rated physical attractiveness

Mediation – Why don’t you like me? (Because I’ll say yes to anyone!) Unselectivity (Partner) β = .34*** β = -.16* #s are slightly different because I’m not correcting for attenuation here β = -.30*** Desire (Actor) Desire (Partner) β’ = -.25** Sobel z = 1.85, p = .065

Results – Personality correlates Measure ♂ Desire (actor) (partner) ♀ Desire “I sometimes feel as though I would date anyone who is interested in me” .23* -.20† .17 -.30*

Mediation – Why do I like you? (Because I’m desperate!) Desire (Actor) β = .19* β = -.26*** Self-report Desperation β = -.24* Desire (Partner) β’ = -.19* Sobel z = 1.99, p = .047

Results – Personality correlates Measure ♂ Desire (actor) (partner) ♀ Desire “I sometimes feel as though I would date anyone who is interested in me” .23* -.20† .17 -.30* Time since last romantic physical contact .20† -.45** -.22† -.27* # sex partners in past year -.07 .32** -.04 .19 # romantic physical contact partners in past year -.16 .48** .01 .12

Results – Personality correlates Measure ♂ Desire (actor) (partner) ♀ Desire “I expect that I will be interested in going on a date with _____% of the people I meet speed-dating” .25* -.24* .27* -.26* “I expect that _____% of the people I meet speed-dating will be interested in going on a date with me.” .15 -.03 -.10 .16 “Members of the opposite sex that I like tend to like me back” .05 .26* -.11 .38** Extraversion .33** -.09 .12 Conscientiousness .14 -.02 -.22†

A procedural bias? At least 3 separate teams of speed-dating researchers have reported a large sex difference (in the male direction) in “yessing” But men are always the ones rotating, even at professional speed-dating events Could there be something empowering about rotating that results in a higher yessing rate? At 4 of our events, men rotated, and at 3 of the events, women rotated

Rotation interactions

Discussion Found a positive dyadic reciprocity correlation (if I uniquely like you, you tend to uniquely like me back) Found a negative generalized reciprocity correlation for both men and women Appears to be related to desperation / unselectivity Romantic liking appears to come in one of two “flavors” The flavor can be determined in only 4 minutes!

Thank you Candida Abrahamson David Kenny Wendi Gardner Dan Ariely Daniel Mochon Jacob Matthews George Loewenstein The Northwestern Class Alliance The University Research Grants Committee Layla Bermeo Debra Blade Christine Brooks Bonnie Buik Madelaine Eulich Megan Graney Jeff Jablons Kristin Jones Julie Keller Jennifer Leyton Kaidi Liu Mallory Martino Ashley Mason Jesse Matthews Abby Mitchell Jennifer Rosner Seema Saigal Sarah Scarbeck David Sternberg Laura Thompson Ashley Treadway Stephanie Yang