Listen to Me!?! Marcus Ashlock Dept. of Communications Kansas State University

Why is listening important? We are operating in times of rapid change. Employers say it’s the number one business skill. Accomplishing personal and organizational goals requires strong relationships Being a proactive listener is a powerful tool for building/maintaining those relationships.

What’s difficult about it? We have very little training about effective listening skills. High volumes of information. Different vocab., frames of reference, different backgrounds, ways of relating, ways of speaking. What do you think?

Just a few reasons to listen To avoid saying the wrong thing, being tactless To dissipate strong feelings To increase the other person's confidence in you To be sure you both are on the same wavelength To be sure you both are focused on the same topic

What type of training is out there? Ken Blanchard ( Achieve Global ( Development Dimensions International, Inc (DDI) – ( FranklinCovey – (

Proactive Listening What is your personal pitfall when listening? How would you personally benefit by being a better listener?

Proactive Listening What would your organization stand to gain is everyone was a better listener? What a few barriers to listening?

Proactive Listening Three “Key Actions” to proactive listening Achieve Global 1. Show interest in what the speaker has to say 2. Ask questions to clarify, gather information, and focus the conversation 3. Let the speaker know what you understand

Show interest in what the speaker has to say Why? – Helps you tune in and encourages openness How? – Focus on the speaker – Express your interest directly – Use nonverbal cues to establish/maintain rapport – Use short verbal cues to keep conversation going – Avoid interrupting

Ask questions to clarify, gather info., and focus the conversation Why? – Listener’s most powerful tool; manage the conversation, clarify what you’re hearing, and elicit more information How? – Use open-ended questions to probe for more info. – Use closed questions to gather specifics/details – If necessary, use questions to focus the convers.

Let the speaker know what you understand Why? – What’s said isn’t always what’s heard; uncovers potential misunderstanding, clears them up before the end of the conversation How? – Restate, in your words, what you’ve heard – Keep restating until you’ve got it right – Acknowledge the speaker’s emotions

Skills Practice Break into groups of two Person “A” speaks to person “B” Person “B” practices the Key Actions Person “A” gives feedback to person “B” Switch Person “B” speaks to person “A” Person “A” practices the Key Actions Person “B” gives feedback person “A”

What’s Next? The great thing about listening is you can practice it all the time. – Rearrange your work space to reduce interruption and distractions to better focus on the speaker. – Commit to practicing the key actions one day/mo. – Use them at home. – When you hear yourself ask a closed question, rephrase to an open-ended. – Any others from the group …..

Always remember … Listening is not waiting for your turn to talk.

Insight and Action List one thing you learned from this session. What is one thing you’ll do to be a proactive listener in the future?