The Juggling Show: Finding Time for Work, Family and Self Presented by: Kathy Riggs USU Extension FCS Agent

Let’s brainstorm! What do you do for fun? What do you do for fun? What makes you happy? What makes you happy? What do you do to bond with your family/friends? What do you do to bond with your family/friends? What do you do do you relax? What do you do do you relax? How do you “make time” for the important stuff? How do you “make time” for the important stuff? What’s the important stuff? What’s the important stuff?

We have all these great answers… but then … Why are we still stressed? Why are we still stressed? Why does it feel like work is taking over? Why does it feel like work is taking over? Why are we single handedly supporting the Excedrin and Tums industry? Why are we single handedly supporting the Excedrin and Tums industry?

Could it be a lack of balance?

Some Basic Facts: Work and family are central to our way of life Work and family are central to our way of life Finding a balance between the two is an issue of great importance Finding a balance between the two is an issue of great importance Add “self” to the formula and finding balance among the three: Add “self” to the formula and finding balance among the three: Is pretty dang tricky Is pretty dang tricky May result in stress May result in stress

Sources of Stress Stress comes from two primary sources: Stress comes from two primary sources: Role strain Role strain Spillover Spillover

Role Strain Occurs when the responsibilities of one role interfere with performing other roles Occurs when the responsibilities of one role interfere with performing other roles

Spillover When the conditions and relationships in one area of our lives affect us in another area When the conditions and relationships in one area of our lives affect us in another area

So, how do you balance it all? Analogy of glass balls vs. rubber balls Analogy of glass balls vs. rubber balls

How do you tell a glass ball from a rubber ball? Glass Balls Glass Balls Family Family Work Work What else? What else? Rubber Balls Rubber Balls Clean house Daily exercise Home cooked meals What else?

How do you identify and prioritize? Clarify values Clarify values Values guide our actions Values guide our actions Create a list Create a list Column #1 “Family” Column #1 “Family” What do you value with regards to your family? What do you value with regards to your family? What do you want your family to be known for? What do you want your family to be known for?

How do you identify and prioritize? Clarify values Clarify values Create a list Create a list Column #2 “Work” Column #2 “Work” What do you value with regards to your work? What do you value with regards to your work? What is your work ethic? What is your work ethic? What are your career goals? What are your career goals?

How do you identify and prioritize? Clarify values Clarify values Create a list Create a list Column #3 “Self” Column #3 “Self” What do you what to be known for? What do you what to be known for? What are your personal standards to live by? What are your personal standards to live by? What relationships are important to you? What relationships are important to you?

Compare lists Ask yourself: Ask yourself: Are any of your values in conflict with one another? Are any of your values in conflict with one another?

Set Realistic Goals and Expectations Goals help us define how we use our time. Goals help us define how we use our time. Values give direction to the goals we set Values give direction to the goals we set Main problem: Many of us have high expectations about being everything to everybody, performing all of our roles well or being “perfect.” Main problem: Many of us have high expectations about being everything to everybody, performing all of our roles well or being “perfect.”

Setting Priorities & Managing Time Even when we are efficient in using our time, we may not be effective- we “do things right” but we don’t do the right things. Even when we are efficient in using our time, we may not be effective- we “do things right” but we don’t do the right things.

Here is one way to manage time effectively: First, we define our goals, and then we ask ourselves these questions: First, we define our goals, and then we ask ourselves these questions: How do my expectations either foster or interfere with reaching my goals? How do my expectations either foster or interfere with reaching my goals? Am I balancing my “material” goals with my “people” goals? Am I balancing my “material” goals with my “people” goals? How will I know when I have reached this goal? How will I know when I have reached this goal? What do I need to do today to reach this goal? What do I need to do today to reach this goal?

Letting Go and Understanding Control Stay in control by letting go Stay in control by letting go Planning and communication are central to all change. Here are some other ideas to help balance work: Planning and communication are central to all change. Here are some other ideas to help balance work:

Letting go… Hold family meetings Hold family meetings Keep weekly or monthly schedules that schedule time for both concrete (“material”) and relational (“people”) goals Keep weekly or monthly schedules that schedule time for both concrete (“material”) and relational (“people”) goals Be willing to revise plans when they don’t work or changes need to be made Be willing to revise plans when they don’t work or changes need to be made Understand what we can control and what we can’t Understand what we can control and what we can’t

Letting go, continued… Keep a sense of humor Keep a sense of humor Remember that effective management is not a single event but a continually evolving process. Remember that effective management is not a single event but a continually evolving process.

Calm your Stress Practicing relaxation techniques can improve how you physically respond to stress by: Practicing relaxation techniques can improve how you physically respond to stress by: Slowing your heart rate Slowing your heart rate Lowering blood pressure Lowering blood pressure Slowing your breathing rate Slowing your breathing rate Reducing the need for oxygen Reducing the need for oxygen Increasing blood flow to major muscles Increasing blood flow to major muscles Reducing muscle tension Reducing muscle tension

Health Benefits to Relaxation Fewer physical symptoms, such as headaches and back pain Fewer physical symptoms, such as headaches and back pain Fewer emotional responses, such as anger and frustration Fewer emotional responses, such as anger and frustration More energy More energy Improved concentration Improved concentration Greater ability to handle problems Greater ability to handle problems More efficiency in daily activities More efficiency in daily activities

Take a break to meditate meditation/HQ meditation/HQ er-stretches/MM00710

Sources University of Main Extension, Family Issues Facts, Balancing Work and Family. Downloaded 9/17/07 from University of Main Extension, Family Issues Facts, Balancing Work and Family. Downloaded 9/17/07 from University of Georgia, Managing stress: a guide for college students. Downloaded 9/17/07 from University of Georgia, Managing stress: a guide for college students. Downloaded 9/17/07 from George Washington University, University Counseling Center, Improving Time Management. Downloaded 9/17/07 from 8/ George Washington University, University Counseling Center, Improving Time Management. Downloaded 9/17/07 from 8/ 8/ 8/ Forever Families, Balancing Family and Work. Downloaded 9/17/07 from e.aspx Forever Families, Balancing Family and Work. Downloaded 9/17/07 from e.aspx e.aspx e.aspx Mayo Clinic.com Need to relax? Take a break to meditate video. Available 9/17/07 from Mayo Clinic.com Need to relax? Take a break to meditate video. Available 9/17/07 from