Defacto couples who marry have a 50% Higher divorce rate than those who just marry 46% of Australian marriages break down Women initiate divorce 4 in 5 cases 75% of De facto couples separate after 4 years 25% separate after 1st 12 months AUSTRALIAN EXAMPLE:

30% of all marriages are likely to break down after 20 years 10% after 6 years… Over the past decade, more than 75,000 marriages in Australia lasted less than 2 years. Canada/USA…50% & 60% subsequent

DIVORCE ISSUES DIVORCE ISSUES…currently 43% to 50% Declining stability of relationship CommunicationIntimacy/Feelings Solving of issues Engaging in difficult times Feelings of Future Parenting…Discipline & Values

Divorce Issues Declining stability of relationship Communication Intimacy/Feelings Solving of issues Engaging in difficult times Feelings of Future

“Marriage is not about romance. It’s about reality. It is about lost car keys and lost jobs, fuses blowing in the middle of breakfast, children who get into trouble at school and the untold trivia that make up the life of two people together.” Source: Sunday Life, The Sunday Age, April 1, 2001

TIPS FOR LONG RELATIONSHIP GOALS - Short Term:  Weekends  Movies Once a Month  Kids…baby sitter  Work Future  Renovations…improvements to you & home

TIPS FOR LONG RELATIONSHIP (cont.) GOALS - Medium Term:  Trips Away  Romantic Weekends  Buy Something For Them  Investments Together  House/Where  Plan 5 Years Ahead For General Stuff

TIPS FOR LONG RELATIONSHIP (cont.) GOALS - Long Term:  Semi Retirement  Retreat  Overseas Trip  Trip Around Australia  Grandchildren

TIPS FOR RELATIONSHIPS  Make Love…Good sex regularly  Kiss your partner with Passion  Romance your partner X 2ayear  Dinner with Family once a week  Timeout from work for SELF & Family  YES… means Relationships GROW

TIPS FOR MORE SEX  Use Mobile…ET Phone Home  Dinners  Surprises  Flowers  Date  Plan Little Things  Attend Kids Sport/Functions  Stuff Around The House eg: Vacuum, Ironing

Males Play an Important Role

Parenting..... Is a Partnership Don’t undermine each other Set... Rules...Standards & Expectations Together

TIPS FOR PARENTING  Clear Rules  Clear Standards  Set Standards  Set Attitudes  Set Parenting Limits Helps to make Parenting Easier... even for Separated Parents Remember All Kids need Boundaries...Kids see Parenting as...LOVE Positive Discipline

ROLE MODELLING AT HOME We are responsible for changing and modifying unacceptable behaviour. We are responsible for developing good social behavioural outcomes.

RELATIONSHIPS What’s Important Communication Connection Understanding the other person Real feelings Mateship Friendship Supportive But not always Fixing Consideration Affection Above all….. that they know your LOVEAbove all….. that they know your LOVE

Divorced Parenting Don’t undermine the other parent Set... Rules…Standards Plan stuff/holidays/their space Keep to the rules Have fun with the kids Understand their CONFUSION Remember…it will be hard

ROLE MODELLING AT HOME The Fridge... & Teenager Rules for Going Out …MUM & DAD rules

ROLE MODELLING AT HOME The Fridge... Great Place for Writing Up… Rules & Outcomes

The Good The Bad The Ugly And... The Ugly Do with kids…What they think…Accept & Work through..NO Debating The Thoughts of our kids

ADOLESCENTS Our Future

Top 10 Issues - Comparison CENTRAL VICTORIA & CANADA…BOYS

CENTRAL VICTORIA Combined Boys and Girls

Unsafe Sex ….

MESSAGE FROM KIDS Know your Kids Know their Friends Names Invite Their Friends Over Family Dinners Timeout Together