Habits of Effective Teens Milby Mentor Program 2011

In the past meetings, we discussed 2 Habits of Highly Effective Teens In the past meetings, we discussed 2 Habits of Highly Effective Teens. Today we will discuss Habit #3. Habit 1 : Be proactive Habit 2 : Begin with the end in mind Habit 3 : Put first things first Habit 4 : Think win-win Habit 5 : Seek first to understand, then to be understood Habit 6 : Synergize Habit 7 : Sharpen the saw The 7 habits can help you: 1. Get control of your life 2. Improve your relationships 3. Increase your self confidence 4. Be happy! 

Habit #1Be Proactive Recap… A proactive person takes responsibility for his/her life. Reactive people make choices based on feelings, moods and emotions

Proactive people have the following: Self-awareness Conscience Imagination Willpower I can stand apart from myself and observe my thoughts and actions. I can listen to my inner voice to know right from wrong. I can envision new possibilities. I have the power to choose.

Proactive people: Know what they stand for and have a strong set of values. Listen to their “better” selves. Realize they have choices and take responsibility for those choices. Bounce back when something bad happens in their lives. Always look at all the options. Focus on things they can do something about, don’t worry about the other things.

Habit #2 Begin with the end in mind Recap Habit #2 Begin with the end in mind Define your mission and goals in life. Effective people shape their own future with their personal mission statement as their guide.

To determine where you’re headed, ask yourself the following questions: What qualities do I want to develop in myself? What contributions do I want to make to others and my community? What kind of things will I need to have for the kind of future I want?

To begin with the end in mind… You must know where you want to go, who you want to be, and what you want to achieve in life. You need a mission statement. A mission statement is a personal credo or motto that states what your life is about.

Habit #3 Put First Things First Recap Habit #3 Put First Things First Understand the difference between urgency and importance Learn to put first things first in your life

Review Terms Goals Important Planner Role Urgent A specific thing you are trying to accomplish An activity you find valuable and that contributes to your mission, values and high-priority goals A person who consciously looks ahead and plans with specific goals in mind The position you occupy in relation to another An activity you or others feel requires immediate attention Goals Important Planner Role Urgent

Last week, you were asked to… Do one thing that would make a significant difference in the roles you listed. Share with your group what you have identified in the previous activity, write one goal next to each role.

By the end of this session, you will…. Understand Win-Win Understand how courage and determination create win-win relationships Understand how to create win-win agreements

Habit # 4 Think Win-Win

Important Terms What kind of person are you? Lose-lose Lose-Win Win-Lose Win-Win People with this paradigm approach differences with fear. People with a lose-win mindset are easily intimidated and readily give in or go along with others These people achieve what they want at the expense of others These people believe that everyone can win

Life is an “All-You-Can-Eat” Buffet With your group, talk about an experience where you had a win-lose mentality. How did you feel about it? What were the short-term and long- term consequences? Would you do things differently now?

Life is an “All-You-Can-Eat” Buffet With your group, talk about an experience where you practiced lose-win or someone acted in a lose-win way toward you. What were the short-term and long-term consequences? How do you feel?

The following exercise will help you start living Habit 4 Discuss a specific situation that you may face in the next seven days that will require win- win thinking- it might be during a music lesson, at work, in a challenging class, or at home with your family. How will you prepare yourself to think win-win?

Competition Gives Way to Cooperation List some activities in your personal life and school life that encourage: Competition: Cooperation:

Win-Win Agreements Desired Results Mowing the lawn. Keeping the lawn maintained. Watering the flowers. Guidelines Saturday,A.M Keep grass2-3” in length Resources Lawn mower Human power Water, hoses, sprinklers, etc Accountability Look at lawn together, Saturday , P.M Both of us are pleased. Benefits/ Consequences $ Weekly. Compensation in $ . Use of car Saturday evenings. No money. No car.

Win-Win Agreements Based on previous activity, Complete the chart for student/teacher win-win agreements. Desired Results Guidelines Resources Accountability Benefits/ Consequences

Your assignment…. Identify one situation in your personal life and school life that could be better for both people if win-lose were replaced by win-win thinking– if cooperation replaced competition.