Seek First to Understand and Then to Be Understood

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Do You Hear What I Hear? How to be a good listener.

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Presentation transcript:

Seek First to Understand and Then to Be Understood Habit 5 Seek First to Understand and Then to Be Understood

Barriers to Communication Assuming Rescuing/Explaining Directing Expecting Adultisms

Ignoring Making no effort to listen Spacing out

Pretend Listening Making believe or giving the appearance you are listening.

Selective Listening Hearing only the parts of the conversation that interest you.

Word Listening Only listening to the words that are being spoken not to the Body language, feelings or true meaning of the words.

Self Centered /Autobiographical Listening This happens when we see everything from our own view point. Oh, I know exactly how you feel statements come from this Often a game of one up man ship

Responses of Self centered listening Judging: make judgments about person and what they are saying Advising: give advise from our own experience Probing: attempt to dig up emotions before people are ready to disclose.

Genuine Listening Listen with your eyes, heart, and ears. Stand in their shoes Practice mirroring repeat back what the other person is saying and feeling (not mimicking which is repeating words, using the same word, cold and indifferent)

Empathetic Listening GOAL Listening and responding with both the heart and mind to understand the speaker’s words, intent and feelings.

5 Empathetic Responses Repeat verbatim Rephrase content Reflect Feelings Rephrase content and reflect feelings Discern when empathy is not appropriate or necessary.

How WE communicate 7% through the words we use 38% through the words and sounds we make 55% through nonverbal and body language

Results of Empathic Listening Gives other psychological air to breath Open space in which a person may explore feelings, vent emotions, and feel understood without being judged.