Gender and Children

Nature vs. Nurture How are gender roles created? –Innate –Socially Constructed –Parentally Constructed –Individually Constructed –All of the Above?

Gender Flexibility: Good or Bad? Gender Identity gives a sense of belonging to children Strict Adherence to gender roles leads to –Construction of the Other –Suppression of counter interests/impulses –Hierarchical thinking

Boy & Girl Culture Emotion Play Morality Exclusion Zones

Boy Culture: Emotion Emotional Development – suppressed by the male stereotype that “boys don’t cry” –Male play seen as disruptive (counter-culture to school behavior)/ sets up resentment/suppression –Mastery is a primary motivation which can lead to rebellion, aggression, high activity –“created” by innate preference, channeling through toys & social messages (people & media) –Emotional expression isn’t nurtured and/or well received –Punishment is often physical/intimidation

Boy Culture: Emotion Effects of emotional suppression –Anxiety –Anger –Lack of Empathy –Depression (85% of teen suicides are male) –Violence

Boy Culture: Emotion How do we counter the belief “Boys Don’t Cry”? (Beliefs are Based on Perceptions) –Give boys permission to have an internal life Validate emotional expression/Vocab -Recognize and accept high activity/safe zone -Talk to boys in their own language: Be direct, let them be problem solvers (How angry are you? What can we do about it?) -Teach boys that emotional courage and empathy are strengths -Use discipline to build character (boundaries/punishment) -Model manhood with emotional attachment/flexibility

Girl Culture: Emotions Girls are overly emotional –Emotion seen as unnecessary or illogical –Emotion is seen as a weakness –Empathy, attachment, and the emphasis on relationships can lead girls to develop complex and difficult social groups as they age. –Avoidance of conflict and anything that will “hurt”

Girl Culture: Emotion Validating a girl’s emotions –Seeing emotional courage and empathy as a strength –Teaching conflict resolution through consensus vs. win/lose –Develop critical analysis vs. emotional reaction skills (older girls/ “hurting animals”

Boy Culture: Play Play is based on mastering new physical skills They often establish power relationships within their play Conflict is something to be mastered (battle) It’s a bonding & acculturating ritual Reinforced by marketing of toys, socializing groups, and the media Gender flexibility (i.e. dolls) seen as “sick” or “strange”

Girl Culture: Play Play emphasizes narrative with relationships Conflict is something to be peacefully resolved (reform) Reinforced by marketing of toys, socializing groups, and the media Gender flexibility (Tom Boys) seen as a phase Dolls are not inherently sexist/antifeminist. They can be opened toys that allow for imaginative play Girl Culture is seen as less “valuable” Girls don’t see that the world doesn’t fully validate their culture until adolescence

Kids and Morality Maturity in moral reasoning (Piaget & Kohlberg) was traditionally evaluated based on a child’s ability to develop a hierarchical understanding of logic –For instance, the ability to prioritize responsibilities – this is a “male” trait –The “female” traits of moral reasoning have therefore been overlooked and/or established as other –These traits are different not good/bad

Boy Culture: Morality Boys are more likely to justify a given choice by specific criteria Boys prefer clear cut rules that determine moral behavior (laws) They tend to depersonalize the situation to be fair and objective They tend to prioritize responsibilities Self is defined as separate/assessed by an ideal

Girl Culture: Morality Girls explain a particular choice by discussing the nature of choice In conflict, they seek to understand the network of relationships in question: whose needs are meet/whose aren’t – How does this make them feel Self defined through connection and measured through “activities of care”

Gender Zones of Exclusion Kids seeking a sense of belonging will exclude children based on their inability to meet subject role expectations – gender Gender Bias in teachers/parents –Play – female teachers condone girl culture –Emotion- emotional expression in boys isn’t validated –Education- gendered subjects (i.e. Math-Boys) –Morality-Male moral development scientifically validated

So Now What? Knowing –Gender Expectations –Gender Biases –Gender Exclusions –Gender Bonding/Inclusion Allows you to addresses biases/exclusions and facilitate bonding and inclusion