Parenting Styles Discipline vs. Abuse Effective Techniques Positive Parenting Parenting Styles Discipline vs. Abuse Effective Techniques

Parenting Styles Authoritarian Parenting: method of parenting in which parents exercise complete control over their children. Democratic Parenting: method of parenting in which discipline & rules are negotiated between parents and children. Permissive Parenting: method in which parents are inconsistent and unpredictable in discipline and make few demands on their children.

Barbara Coloroso's terminology “Brick Wall” – authoritarian; strict rules & expectations. “Jelly Fish” – similar to permissive style; no structure, no rules, care- free or non-attentive “Back Bone”- similar to Democratic style/Authoritative; provides guidelines and structure; allows child to make choices & sets limits.

Dealing with Misbehaviour… Punishment: a deliberate act against a person, a reprimand or harsh penalty; usually holds negative connotations (e.g. spanking)‏ Discipline: training that molds & strengthens character and leads to achievement of self- discipline (e.g. time-out)‏ SELF-DISCIPLINE: Control or training of oneself for the sake of character improvement…

“What’s Wrong with Spanking?” Sets a bad example; Form of Violence; Can be habit forming; Perpetuates unfair double standards; Promotes poor self-image Body is not respected; Promotes an atmosphere of fear;

“What’s wrong with Spanking?” Perpetuates Cycle of Abuse and that it’s ok to hurt those smaller than you; Doesn’t help children learn self- discipline; causes confusion; Decline of self-control of the adult; Adults need to be helpers, not hurters of children.

Dealing with Misbehaviour… Avoid these techniques: Don’t use Physical Punishment Don’t Withhold Love Don’t Offer Bribes Don’t Force Promises from a child Don’t Control through Guilt or Shame

Dealing With Misbehaviour… DO use these techniques: Impose Natural Consequences Remove Privileges Ignore Misbehaviour (reverse psychology strategy)‏ Enforce “Time Out” “1, 2, 3” strategy

Communication / Messages… Praise good behaviour Be a positive Role Model Use Positive language Short, simple instructions Move close & get down to child’s eye-level Compliment rather than compare Use “I messages” vs. “You messages” E.g. “I like it when you do this…” Be flexible

The Aim of Positive Discipline: The child learns to make positive choices for themselves The child learns self control or self discipline The child learns to take responsibility for their own actions…

ABUSE… Definition: Abuse is any form of physical, emotional and/or sexual mistreatment or lack of care (neglect) which causes physical injury or emotional damage to a person or lower status/power…

4 Types of Abuse… Physical Emotional/Psychological Threatening, using unreasonable physical force (hitting, slapping, spanking, etc.)‏ Emotional/Psychological Chronic attack on a child’s self-esteem; takes the form of name-calling, threatening, ridiculing, berating, isolating, hazing or ignoring a child's needs. 6 Different areas: rejecting, isolating, terrorizing, corrupting, ignoring and exploiting.

4 Types of Abuse… Neglect Sexual A chronic inattention to the basic necessities of life such as clothing, shelter, nutritious diet, education, supervision, good hygiene, medical & dental care, adequate rest, safe environment, moral guidance, exercise and fresh air. Sexual When a young or less powerful person is used by older or more powerful for sexual gratification; contact & non-contact.

Short Term Effects: Fear and anxiety Feelings of hatred Hostility Guilt & Shame Depression Low self-esteem Poor social functioning

“Children See, Children Do” Long Term Effects: Measured in young adults who were victims when they were children Depression Psychiatric problems Suicide Less tolerant and distrustful High risk for becoming abusers themselves “Children See, Children Do”

Abuse on the Internet... CBC Doc Zone: Hunting the Predators http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdo1mNhdFlo