FAMILY LIFE CYLCE Child Development Stage 1 Singles/ Individuals Stage 2 Marriage Stage 3 Childbearing Stage 4 Parenting Stage 5 Launching/ Teens Stage 6 Middle Years Stage 7 Senior Years

Stage 1 Single/Individual Emotional changes from relying on family to emotional and financial responsibility to oneself. Beginning to find oneself and develop own beliefs and ideas. May reject family values and belief. Teens developing intimate peer relationships on a deeper level than before.

Stage 2 Marriage What age is best to get married? Youthful marriages Up to age 30, the older you are at marriage the greater likelihood of marital happiness and success Teens have highest divorce rates After age 30 higher divorce rate than PREDICTION OF SUCCESS: Until death do us part: Not a fact for most marriages.

Prediction of Marital Success Education = income, insight, status Length of engagement Childhood environment & relationship with family. Divorced parents may cause a shying away from marriage. Loving each other did not have affect on whether or not they fought. HONEYMOON EFFECT: Overlooking problems. Reality vs. idealized relationship.

PREDICTION OF SUCCESS FACTORS Communicates well Resolve conflict in a constructive way Realistic expectations of marriage Like each other as people (opposites attract doesn’t work) Undesirable traits are magnified in marriage Agree on religion & ethical issues Spend leisure activities/time with each other

Why have an engagement? Reduces anxiety about marriage. Gives couple time to mature and break from family. Make sure partner is right person.

What’s the secret to a happy marriage? When the couple met they felt immediately at home with each other. Friendship was immediate. There is a strong physical and/or emotional attraction. Happy couples have similar values and beliefs, but embrace each other’s differences. Happy couples have trust

Happily Married Happy couples usually describe their mate as their best friend. They like each other very much, above all others. They spent a lot of time together. Happy couples share a life dream. They work together to make the dream come true. Happy couples don’t hold a grudge. High capacity to resolve conflict and move on.

HAPPILY MARRIED continued… Happy couples roll with the changes. People do change and good marriages change too. Happy couples agree to have or not to have children. Couples agree on whether or not to have children.

Essentials of a good marriage Marriage is priority, even over the kids They are united in their parenting Fidelity and commitment!!! Unselfishness Each person is important Time spent together Couple time is sacred Good Communication Respectful to each other

STAGE 3 - CHILDBEARING Adjusting to becoming a family or increased family size. Caring for an infant (Wow it’s tough!) Providing a positive developmental environment and learning to be a parent. Making sacrifices Adjusting to having less couple time.

STAGE 4 - Parenting Caring for Children Coping with demands on energy and attention with less privacy at home. Increasing need to make sacrifices for children and family VERY stressful time for parents.

STAGE 4 – Parenting Continued Family importance: Promoting educational achievement Fitting in the community of families with school-age children Supporting children’s interests (attend events!)

STAGE 5 – Launching/ Teens (When the oldest child is between the ages of 13 and 20) Allowing and helping children to become more independent Coping with their independence Developing new interests beyond child care

STAGE 6 – MIDDLE AGE MARRIAGES Parents more likely to divorce at this time. Parents who stayed together just for the children feel free to move on. Empty Nest Syndrome Boomerang generation: Children return home due to high unemployment, housing cost, low wages, divorce and personal problems. Parents may become grandparents at this time. Parents may have to care for their own parents (grandparents)

STAGE 7 - LATER LIFE Grand parenting Retirement How will you live your life once your family is grown? What will you do when you don’t have a job to go to every day? Many people look forward to their “Golden Years” Does parenting end when children are grown & gone?

GRANDPARENTING Grandparents = distance is biggest factor in amount of involvement 25% of preschool children cared for by grandparents Grandparent experience the joys of children without all of the responsibilities

Stage Review Stage 1 (18-21 yrs) Developing autonomy and becoming independent Stage 2 (22-28 yrs) Developing intimacy & occupational identification. May marry at this time. Stage 3 (29-31 yrs) Most likely to become parents at this time. Stage 4 (32-39 yrs) Deepening commitments; pursuing more long-range goals and parenting. Stage 5 (40-42 yrs) Parenting transitioning into launching. Stage 6 (43-59 yrs) Re-establishing marital relationship/empty nest State 7 (60+ yrs) Dealing with aging while retaining zest for life. Grand parenting.