Session 3 Parent Lesson 8: Parenting Styles

Objectives Participants will: Explore four common parenting styles Identify your parenting style Gain skills in using a democratic style of parenting that is firm but fair

Icebreaker

Dominating Threatens, intimidates, commands Rigid and controlling Offers very little affection, warmth, encouragement or praise Enforces a clear set of expectations and monitors children’s activities carefully

Possible Child Outcomes Rebellious or submissive Manipulative and sneaky Power struggles with parents Only follow rules when parent is present Become power-oriented with peers (the bully) Have difficulty making decisions Act distrustful

Permissive Tries to be child’s friend Too busy or distracted Substitutes “things” for time or commitment Rescues Offers few guidelines Inconsistent Does too much for the child

Possible Child Outcomes Insecure Searching for boundaries Little respect for authority Poor self-control Self-indulging Doesn’t understand cause and effect Doesn’t follow rules Irresponsible

Unengaged Inconsistent Little nurturing No expectations Selfish Not emotionally or mentally engaged Little respect for children and others

Possible Child Outcomes Little respect for others No responsibility or may be too responsible for their age if expected to raise themselves and siblings High anxiety

Positive Parenting Style Firm but loving Sets clear boundaries Follows through with appropriate consequences Reasonable expectations

Positive Parenting Style Allow for learning from mistakes Model expected behaviors Are confident, flexible, respectful Model teamwork, give and take, and share the power

Possible Child Outcomes Confident Secure Respects self and others Responsible Self-disciplined Inner motivation Closer family relationships

What’s your style?

What will you work on? Be firm but loving Set clear boundaries Follow through with appropriate consequences Set reasonable expectations Allow for learning from mistakes Model expected behaviors Be confident, flexible, respectful Model teamwork, give and take, share the power

When Parents Disagree “Out of balance” happens when one parent becomes more strict or lenient in response to the other parent’s style. Out of Balance Balance Balance happens when parents agree on the issues and consequences, consider the outcomes and support one another.

Gearing Up for Middle School Discoveries? Questions? Stories? Thank you for participating! See you next session.

Rock - dominating, rigid with rules to follow The moon – has influence but seldom is seen and is very distance and uninvolved Tennis ball – firm and flexible with clear boundaries Marshmallow - manipulated easily, no substance