Bullies, Victims and Bystanders David A. Levine Leland Domann

Our goals for today are to… facilitate the conversation about bullying explore the role emotions play on aggressive behaviors review the research on risk and resilience explore empathy as a primary pro-social skill present high-level facilitative responses

What would you like to get out of today? In terms of: Knowledge Skills Personal growth

Knowledge A working definition of bullying The blueprint for emotional safety Creating a bully-free culture Risk and resilience Best practices for prevention and intervention Cyber-bullying

Skills High-level facilitative responses Decoding behaviors Counseling a bully and victim Meeting a child’s needs Teaching pro-social skills

As you were listening to my song, What thoughts, memories of feelings came up for you?

Prevention defined Prevention programs and activities are intentionally designed to help young people manage predictably difficult life situations. Pro-active vs Reactive Prevention vs Intervention

Bullying defined A person is being bullied or victimized when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more persons

Bullying information CDC Youth Risk Survey, 2010 Over 75 % of students are subjected to some form of bullying or cyber bullying and experience some form of physical and/or emotional abuse 5% of high school students did not go to school because they felt unsafe at school or on the way to school 16.2 % of students report being bullied on school property (NY State)

Bullying information Boys are more likely than girls to bully others The most frequent bullying of boys is physical while girls are bullied more often verbally (exclusion, rumors, sexual harassment) The top five states in regards to reported incidents of bullying and cyber bullying are California, New York, Illinois, Pennsylvania, and Washington

Emotional imprints Forever impact the way you interface with the world. Emotional intelligence is the ability to manage your emotions (imprints) when under pressure.

Protective factors External buffers and supports Micro-interactions Be clear with your expectations Create the conditions (in your groups, classes, sports teams, homes) Infuse social skills into all you do Ask questions (dialogue-listen)

Protective factors Internal-skill building Pro-social skills Teach listening and make it a cultural practice The listening wheel Community meeting Fishbowl Cooperative group training (name emotional intelligence)

Empathy consciousness Building a cultural norm of empathy teach it as a skill model it as a practice infuse it as a perspective marker use it as a guiding principle

Protective Factors Social skills Positive peer relationships Problem solving skills A sense of independence A sense of purpose Participation and involvement School success A caring “non-judgmental” adult Exposure to models and mentors

Successful bully prevention/intervention approaches Mindfulness/self-regulation Peer leadership Advisory Micro-interactions Clearly defined norms Dialogue in meetings Moral dilemmas

High-level facilitative responses 1. Ask open-ended questions 2. Clarify and summarize 3. Reflect feelings…

To tolerate is to enable

The conflict cycle Private logic Stressful event Feeling Behavior Response

Feedback To help the person learn and grow Observational what I heard what I saw What I need or feel