Grieving….. after the loss of a pet is normal and healthy. It can last from 4 weeks to over a year. 15% of owners say they will never own another pet as they cannot bear to go through the loss again

The grief sequence ShockShock Anger and guiltAnger and guilt BargainingBargaining DepressionDepression AcceptanceAcceptance

Shock Often a refusal to accept that euthanasia is the only optionOften a refusal to accept that euthanasia is the only option Often follows trauma in a young animal or owner underestimating the seriousness of the diseaseOften follows trauma in a young animal or owner underestimating the seriousness of the disease Owners often request a second opinionOwners often request a second opinion Owners are confused and have difficulty grasping informationOwners are confused and have difficulty grasping information Brief phase, lasts hoursBrief phase, lasts hours

How to handle shocked owners Give slow, simple explanationsGive slow, simple explanations Record decisions in writingRecord decisions in writing Sympathize, do not contradictSympathize, do not contradict Provide a second opinion from within the practiceProvide a second opinion from within the practice It can be helpful to attempt resuscitation even if it appears hopelessIt can be helpful to attempt resuscitation even if it appears hopeless

Anger and guilt Frequently directed at the practiceFrequently directed at the practice Can often lead to complaints and litigationCan often lead to complaints and litigation Clients often feel guilty about seeking advice too late, not being able to afford treatment or having caused the injury themselvesClients often feel guilty about seeking advice too late, not being able to afford treatment or having caused the injury themselves Sometimes owners want to blame someone for their animal’s bad luckSometimes owners want to blame someone for their animal’s bad luck

Dealing with angry owners Stay calm and polite and do not become defensiveStay calm and polite and do not become defensive Try and explain to them that what has happened is normal procedureTry and explain to them that what has happened is normal procedure Get a senior person who is familiar with the case to speak to themGet a senior person who is familiar with the case to speak to them Avoid statements that make admissions of errorAvoid statements that make admissions of error Express sincere sympathyExpress sincere sympathy

Dealing with owners who feel guilty Try not to make them feel any worseTry not to make them feel any worse Reassure them that it is not their faultReassure them that it is not their fault SympathiseSympathise

Bargaining Often not an obvious phaseOften not an obvious phase Sometimes expressed by bringing gifts to staff to influence their adviceSometimes expressed by bringing gifts to staff to influence their advice Sometimes ask for special access to their petSometimes ask for special access to their pet The nurse’s primary responsibility is to the welfare of the animal. Support the vets decisions and do not suggest treatments that may have little chance of successThe nurse’s primary responsibility is to the welfare of the animal. Support the vets decisions and do not suggest treatments that may have little chance of success

Depression In some cases natural sadness becomes clinical depressionIn some cases natural sadness becomes clinical depression Depressed people can become physically illDepressed people can become physically ill Many are confused about the circumstances surrounding the death of their petMany are confused about the circumstances surrounding the death of their pet Some owners break down in tears for no particular reasonSome owners break down in tears for no particular reason

Dealing with depressed clients In extreme cases, lasting three weeks or more, and where there may be a risk of self harm, the vet should make contact with the client’s GPIn extreme cases, lasting three weeks or more, and where there may be a risk of self harm, the vet should make contact with the client’s GP Sometimes the client just needs to talkSometimes the client just needs to talk Take care that the client doesn’t become emotionally dependent on the practiceTake care that the client doesn’t become emotionally dependent on the practice The grieving process may be helpd by encouraging the client to make a memorial gestureThe grieving process may be helpd by encouraging the client to make a memorial gesture

Acceptance This is the recovery phaseThis is the recovery phase The client can talk about their pet rationally and without excess emotionThe client can talk about their pet rationally and without excess emotion This is the time when suggesting a new pet is sensibleThis is the time when suggesting a new pet is sensible No action may be requiredNo action may be required The client can focus on happy memoriesThe client can focus on happy memories

Asssessing the client’s needs Problems arise when people fail to progress through to acceptance of their lossProblems arise when people fail to progress through to acceptance of their loss Clients considered likely to have a strong bond with their animal should be contacted after a few days to see if they want to talkClients considered likely to have a strong bond with their animal should be contacted after a few days to see if they want to talk Reassurance is keyReassurance is key The grieving process is different for everyoneThe grieving process is different for everyone

Acts of remembrance Plant a tree or bush in your gardenPlant a tree or bush in your garden Have a plaque made and place it under a tree your pet liked lying underHave a plaque made and place it under a tree your pet liked lying under Laying your pet to rest in a pet cemetary, with a short serviceLaying your pet to rest in a pet cemetary, with a short service Commission a portrait of your petCommission a portrait of your pet Make a special photo albumMake a special photo album Write a poemWrite a poem

Grief within the practice Common especially when the animal has been hospitalised for a long timeCommon especially when the animal has been hospitalised for a long time Provide support in particular to trainees and less experienced staffProvide support in particular to trainees and less experienced staff Older staff may appear unaffected but do not assume they do not care, they have likely developed coping strategiesOlder staff may appear unaffected but do not assume they do not care, they have likely developed coping strategies