GET DESCRIPTIVE! Authors’ tricks for “Showing, Not Telling” in Writing! by Ms. Carol A. Withrow by Ms. Carol A. Withrow

What does “Showing, not Telling” mean?  Some writers “tell” things to their readers, giving very little description.  Here is an example: The boy was mad.  This sentence doesn’t help your mind form a mental picture of the angry boy, does it?  Now let’s look at a “showing” sentence!

Here is a “Showing” example!  One look at the boy and I knew. Oh, no! This day was already off to a great start. His shaking hands were balled into fists at his sides. The grip was so tight, his wrinkled knuckles were white! His little chest heaved, up and down, up and down, and his nostrils flared in unison, like a bull ready to charge. Down his red cheeks streamed tears of fury. He was heated! I had to help him move past this!  Can you PICTURE that?  Can you PICTURE that?

How do writers do that?  There are many tricks to descriptive writing. Here are a few we use:  Snapshots  Thoughtshots  Strong Verbs  Specific Nouns  Sensory Details  Similes & Metaphors

What’s a “Snapshot?”  A snapshot is like taking a picture in your mind of what you are trying to describe. Next, write about what you see, creating that same picture for your reader.  Think about the description of our angry friend: “His shaky hands were balled into fists at his sides. The grip was so tight, his wrinkled knuckles were white! His little chest heaved, up and down, up and down, and his nostrils flared in unison.”  In this example, I gave the readers the picture I intended for them to see!

What’s a “Thoughtshot?”  A thoughtshot is when the author adds a character’s thoughts to the description of something. Including what your character is thinking gives insight into that person and the situation.  In the angry boy example, the narrator was a teacher who thought Oh, no! This day was already off to a great start. I had to help him move past this!

What are “Strong Verbs?”  Writers use verbs (mainly action words) in every sentence. By choosing verbs carefully, authors help “paint the picture” of their description in the reader’s mind.  In our example, “His little chest heaved, up and down” should give you a specific picture of the way his chest moved (a more boring choice). Also, “Down his red cheeks streamed tears of fury” adds to the details of his anger as you know he can’t stop crying and his tears keep flowing down his face.

What do you mean by “Specific Nouns?”  Good authors choose nouns (and appropriate adjectives to modify them) that enhance their description.  Compare this to our example.  “He was getting ready to throw a punch.”  His shaking hands were balled into fists at his sides. The grip was so tight, his wrinkled knuckles were white! (This shows that he might punch, without “telling” the reader.

What are “Sensory Details?”  Adding description to your writing with the 5 senses (seeing, hearing, smelling, touching and tasting) brings writing to life!  In our example, the snapshots help you “see” the scene. Note these sensory details: seeing - using color words and other adjectives, as well as strong verbs & specific nouns; and hearing – “like a bull ready to charge” helps you hear the “panting” sound of an angry bull

Using Similes & Metaphors  Similes are comparisons using “like” or “as”; Our boy is described “like a bull ready to charge.”  Familiar sayings make great similes: I was as scared as a cat in a roomful of rocking chairs, OR It was as light as a feather.  Metaphors are direct comparisons between what you are describing and something familiar. “On the track, I am a racehorse, galloping into first place every time.”

What is “Good Voice?”  When authors include words and phrases that sound like their own everyday speaking voice, that is using a real, or authentic voice.  You have your own ways of saying things that can help bring your characters to life for your reader. Write correctly and descriptively, but remember to BE YOURSELF in WRITING!  You have your own ways of saying things that can help bring your characters to life for your reader. Write correctly and descriptively, but remember to BE YOURSELF in WRITING!

GET DESCRIPTIVE!  You can “paint word pictures” to describe the images you want your reader to VISUALIZE with DESCRIPTIVE WRITING TRICKS of the TRADE!  You can “paint word pictures” to describe the images you want your reader to VISUALIZE with DESCRIPTIVE WRITING TRICKS of the TRADE!  READ your own WRITING and find places to add: snapshots, thoughtshots, strong verbs, specific nouns, sensory details, similes & metaphors, and your own good voice!  Be the best author you can!  Be the best author you can!