Carefronting Youth: Before, During and After Pregnancy Developed by Stephen de Groot BA, BSW, MSW

Group Discussion/Reflection Why did you choose to a Helper of Youth? Why did you choose to a Helper of Youth? What were you hoping to accomplish in that role? What do you hope to accomplish with the youth you live and/or work with? What do you hope to accomplish with the youth you live and/or work with?

One of the Greatest Dilemmas Not Knowing…The Youth How they experience the world How they experience the world Who they are Who they are What they want What they want What they need What they need When we KNOW more, we can DO more! When we KNOW Better, we can DO Better and move to Better! (A word about Most Successful Interventions) © Stephen de Groot, MYRIAD, 2004, – APIN Conference 2012 – Copy with Permission

Getting to know the youth and the youth’s story. My Story Individual Uniqueness Dreams Experiences Values Goals Opinions Strengths Resiliencies Culture Sensitivities Knowledge © Stephen de Groot, MYRIAD, 2004, – APIN Conference 2012 – Copy with Permission

What ALL youth Need Safety – Value - Direction SAFETY Comfort Comfort Trust Trust Respect Respect Acceptance Acceptance Patience Patience Understanding UnderstandingSAFETY Consistency Consistency Predictability Predictability Reliability Reliability Control Control Clear expectations Clear expectations Love Love Protection Protection © Stephen de Groot, MYRIAD, 2004, – APIN Conference 2012 – Copy with Permission

What ALL youth Need Safety – Value - Direction VALUE Love Love Worth Worth Value/Valuable Value/Valuable Belonging Belonging Connectedness Connectedness Attachment AttachmentVALUE Involved Involved Included Included Significant Significant Important Important Unique Unique Voice Voice Choice Choice © Stephen de Groot, MYRIAD, 2004, – APIN Conference 2012 – Copy with Permission

What ALL youth Need Safety – Value - Direction DIRECTION Coping Coping Adapting Adapting Goals Goals Support Support Plan Plan Routine RoutineDIRECTION Modelling Modelling Resources/Support Resources/Support Boundaries Boundaries Structure Structure Guidelines Guidelines Clear expectations Clear expectations Communication Communication © Stephen de Groot, MYRIAD, 2004, – APIN Conference 2012 – Copy with Permission

A Common Area of Challenge Under the Best Circumstances: Getting Youth to Talk to Us – What’s really going on; Their Experiences, What they really need/want Especially when many are saying: “You Don’t ___________!” © Stephen de Groot, MYRIAD, 2004, – APIN Conference 2012 – Copy with Permission

Four Key Ingredients for Building Relationships and Engaging Youth to Talk Acceptance and Understanding When there is acceptance and understanding in relationships, this is where youth want to be. Trust and Respect When it is safe, youth will talk. They must see, hear and feel trust and respect. It takes as long as it takes. Minutes to weeks to months. © Stephen de Groot, MYRIAD, 2004, – APIN Conference 2012 – Copy with Permission

FEARGUILTSHAMEHURTCONFUSIONANGERCaution: Can lead to Reacting vs. Responding Can lead to Reacting vs. Responding Can be lead to Responses that are NOT conducive to Acceptance, Understanding, Trust and Respect Can be lead to Responses that are NOT conducive to Acceptance, Understanding, Trust and Respect Can Lead to Barriers to the Youth and the Youth’s Story Can Lead to Barriers to the Youth and the Youth’s Story © Stephen de Groot, MYRIAD, 2004, – APIN Conference 2012 – Copy with Permission

Getting to know the youth and the youth’s story. My Story Individual Uniqueness Dreams Experiences Values Goals Opinions Strengths Resiliencies Culture Sensitivities Knowledge © Stephen de Groot, MYRIAD, 2004, – APIN Conference 2012 – Copy with Permission

When Youth Share with US How to Get to the Their Story LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN Active Listen – Paraphrase Active Listen – Paraphrase –Paraphrasing - involves using fresh words to state back what the youth has just said. The focus is on the situation or ideas rather than on feelings. Example: Youth: I hate those stupid meetings and shit!. You: Really? Sounds like you don’t like you don’t like these appointments (or) you’re not a fan of these kinds of interviews/assessments/classes? © Stephen de Groot, MYRIAD, 2004, – APIN Conference 2012 – Copy with Permission

When Yotuh Share with US Paraphrasing has two important purposes: Paraphrasing has two important purposes: First, it allows youth to know and feel that you are hearing them and that you want to try and understand. First, it allows youth to know and feel that you are hearing them and that you want to try and understand. Second, it usually prompts youth to continue expressing more thoughts and feelings about their situation. Second, it usually prompts youth to continue expressing more thoughts and feelings about their situation. Be careful not to overuse paraphrasing, because it will seem gimmicky, ingenuine, and may become annoying to the youth. – It is a technique to get you started. Be careful not to overuse paraphrasing, because it will seem gimmicky, ingenuine, and may become annoying to the youth. – It is a technique to get you started. © Stephen de Groot, MYRIAD, 2004, – APIN Conference 2012 – Copy with Permission

Helpful Questions: Encouraging Youth to Talk – Getting to their stories Tell me about that? Tell me about that? How was that for you? How was that for you? Tell me more about that? Tell me more about that? What was that like (for you)? What was that like (for you)? What is that like when that happens? What is that like when that happens? What does that mean? What does that mean? What do you mean when you say ________? What do you mean when you say ________? AVOID “WHY” Questions AVOID “WHY” Questions –Really?...Paraphrase the statement –Really? What do you think that’s about? ALLOW FOR SILENCES ALLOW FOR SILENCES What Difference would that make? How would that be helpful? What Difference would that make? How would that be helpful? © Stephen de Groot, MYRIAD, 2004, – APIN Conference 2012 – Copy with Permission

Forward Motion Qualities of Goals: Forward Motion Qualities of Goals: 1. Important to the Youth 2. Youth See the Value in it 3. Consider non-goal as a problem Is the Goal to have, to be, to want…? Or is it something else? - Great Conversation with Youth - GOAL © Stephen de Groot, MYRIAD, 2004, – APIN Conference 2012 – Copy with Permission

Strengths: More than just being Positive We need to: We need to: –Search for Strengths –Build on Strengths –Leverage strengths – in the pursuit of important goals For a More detailed Overview see: – Newsletter, Feb 2012 – “Got Strengths?” © Stephen de Groot, MYRIAD, 2004, – APIN Conference 2012 – Copy with Permission

Questions/Comments DISCUSSION PERIOD © Stephen de Groot, MYRIAD, 2004, – APIN Conference 2012 – Copy with Permission

THANK YOU! For More Information and Resources Please Visit © Stephen de Groot, MYRIAD, 2004, – APIN Conference 2012 – Copy with Permission