Creating Emotionally Resilient Children and Young People Cathy Lyner, Principal Educational Psychologist

Definition Resilience is: “A set of qualities that helps a person to withstand many of the negative effects of adversity……Bearing in mind what has happened to them, a resilient child does better than he or she ought to.” Gilligan 2001 Let’s look at some definitions of resilience. Here is Gilligan’s definition.

What is resilience? ‘Individuals who overcome adversity, survive stress and rise above disadvantage’ Rutter (1985) ‘Resilience is normal development under the most difficult and challenging conditions’ Anthony & Cohler (1987).

Positive / Future Emphasis Protective rather than risk factors Interventions rather than problems Awareness of what you can do and are already doing that’s positive, rather than on what’s missing Early intervention for the next generation – resilient parents in the making! We are offering a very solution focused approach. We are advocating the belief that it is never too late to try – if you succeed in helping a fifteen year old to be more resilient, you will be having a positive effect on her ability to be a positive parent. We want to legitimise common sense approaches emphasise the importance of normal childhood activities – one little boy going into foster care at the age of seven was thrilled by an outing to a play park. It turned out he had never been in one before. Stress the importance of looking for strengths rather than problems ( positive list example in handouts) Emphasise that what teachers are prepared to do in school can make a positive difference to children’s emotional future.

Activity What factors impact positively on a child’s/young person’s mental health Individual Family School Community

Internal Factors self –esteem reflectiveness self-efficacy internal locus of control optimism competency confidence success view of self? reflectiveness problem solving communicate positively positive relationships peers & adults clear goals social and learning skills

External Factors clear boundaries encourage listening understand behaviour inclusive promote health develop autonomy clear expectations and ethos? warm relationships role models supportive and caring connectedness and value empower people positive relationships?

Factors that promote Resilience positive school experiences developing valued skills in real life situations mastery and self efficacy the ability to ‘make a difference’ non-intervention? opportunities to develop problem-solving a.w.a. emotional coping strategies developing the capacity to re-frame adversities not sheltering children excessively from risk

Activity Thinking about what you are already doing. Discuss with a partner what is already happening in Shapinsay to build children’s resilience - in school - in the community - in families Individual participants are asked to tick off those items on the “What are we already doing?” sheet which they feel they are already covering, and to add any ideas not listed. Responses are shared within the group. Each group recorder then records all checked responses on a flip chart sheet. The sheets are posted up and the spokesperson for each group reports back and highlights salient points. The emphasis is on highlighting how much is already being done. Note: refer to team flipchart notes on this subject to fill important gaps (if necessary) for future presentations. 20 minutes

Activity Who helped you believe in yourself? Consider someone special in your life who helped you feel confident about your future, without whom you might not be the person you are now. This activity is for pairs with each partner taking a turn. 10 minutes Invite volunteers to share their thoughts with the whole group afterwards. 5 minutes

Importance of Key Relationships “ A significant factor emerging from the life histories of competent children from disadvantaged families appears to be the presence in the environment of a charismatic, inspirational person. He/she may be a playmate’s parent, an older friend, a teacher, a member of the clergy, a physician – anyone who can help a child acquire self assurance and a vision of what can be achieved.” Segal 1981 You may be surprised to learn that a teacher can be that all important person for some pupils. Once again then, you can make a difference! In fact your relationship with a pupil could be the key relationship which makes the difference between a positive and a not so positive future. You could be the one person, whom as an adult that young person points to as the one who made the crucial difference to them. This isn’t necessarily about charisma – this is about being the kind of teacher who takes the time to note on the classroom calendar the next time wee Gavin will be seeing his Dad.

Use of Self A positive relationship with a significant person is a major resilience component Warmth Empathic Genuineness Caring Collaborative Creative Clear and ability to be directive Able to create appropriate emotional environment Able to challenge appropriately and sensitively

The Resilience Building School provides welcome and sense of belonging provides a time / place for quiet working/reflection provides support and a listening ear Supports achievement in a wide variety of ways gives young people responsibility promotes home school links assists students to develop goals for the future promotes emotional intelligence Some additional ideas - for breaks: teaching playground games system for borrowing play equipment buddy stop in playground / hobby stop on notice board for lunch: table places rather than free for all lunch duties for children bright pleasant environment reward system for good manners for involving all staff : head teacher, janitor, secretary, support staff, canteen staff, previous teacher, children etc all able to give awards values non academic achievements I remember once I had a very good school..” Anne quoted in Kahan 1979 – read out this quote.

Activity Welcome Plan In your groups devise a six point action plan designed to ensure that every pupil feels welcomed in school every day. It may help to think about how you would like to be treated! Participants are to work in groups to come up with a six point action plan based on the first point in the previous slide. Flip chart paper , blutack and markers will be required. 15 minutes

Features of the Resilience Building Classroom attractive physical environment positive statements on display sanctuary areas brain breaks built in appropriate use of music golden / “carousel” time compliments box visual supports on display “quality” circle time sanctuary: nooks with translucent screens “I can hide but I can see out.” for use as required brain breaks: physical activity built into lessons so that they are broken into manageable chunks, to aid concentration golden time: planned, protected fun activities usually at the end of the school week. This can be extended into a whole school approach - carousel time: planned practical activities across all age groups in which everyone is included (even children generally out of class) visual supports: timetables, prompts, pictures, traffic light system, task boards on display constantly. This removes reliance on words and language and aids independence early play materials: these should be available to meet the needs of pupils whose cognitive/emotional age and chronological age don’t match. They can also be useful de-stressors - sand, water, lego, board games, K’nex.

The Resilience Building Adult Offers opportunities to participate Encourages talents and interests Provides structure and security Provides appropriate experiences to promote growth and development Provides stimulation and challenge Provides predictable routines Allows repetition and consolidation Provides opportunities for social skills to be developed Is a positive model Is non judgemental Communicates genuine interest and care Values own well-being! Opportunities to Participate and Contribute Encourages young people to participate in classroom / school Models listening and respecting others’ opinions Incorporates group work and co-operative activities into tasks Encourages broader interests in community activities and groups Note the last item on this slide. The resilience building teacher values his or her own well being. This can’t be overemphasised!

Teaching Skills for Resilience Self awareness Managing feelings Relationship skills Managing stress Personal responsibility Empathy Communication Conflict resolution Let’s move on to what we can teach our pupils in order to make them more resilient. There are many, many aspects to emotional intelligence but these are a few of the most important. They are all skills which can be taught and which contribute to resilience. Where emotional intelligence courses have been built into the school curriculum, there are many benefits. The next slide shows some of the benefits.

Strategies Used to Develop Emotional Intelligence Role play Group activities and discussion Circle Time / sharing circles Social skills training Self esteem building Role play is a really useful bridge between what children know and what they actually do. How often do we say, “He can give all the right answers, but when he’s out in the playground he forgets it all.” It is behavioural practice of appropriate behaviour at its best, and can also be used to illustrate how things can go wrong. Children can be invited to replay the same scene with slightly different outcomes. Role play can also be important rehearsal for children of how to get it right. Circle time in schools owes a lot to drama and group therapy techniques and is carefully structured to improve emotional intelligence and self esteem.

Strategies Used to Develop Emotional Intelligence Relaxation techniques Problem solving techniques Psychological hardiness approaches Mental rehearsal Circles of friends / peer support Specific Packages e.g. PATHS Relaxation techniques are surely important in our stressful modern world. In Denmark there are four Rs in the curriculum – the fourth one being relaxation. Lessons for Living (Frank Waters) may be familiar to you. There are many examples of group activities/ experiments in that pack. Mental rehearsal techniques, basically visualising oneself getting something right, borrow a lot from sports psychology which can help make them acceptable to older boys. Circle of friends makes use of the empathy of peers to support isolated and excluded youngsters. For details on each of these strategies, follow up INSET sessions would be required.

Looking after one’s own mental health & wellbeing: themes exercise communication and social relationships ‘therapeutic’ and spiritual approaches healthy eating medication i.e. mind, body & spirit holistic approach