Why Do Some Young People Leave The Lord? Some Stay; Some Stray All verses are from the New King James Version unless noted. Part 4

I. Bad Influence – of their Friends II. Poor Example – of their Parents III. Weak Image – of the Church IV. Lax Standards – at Home

Opposing Kinds of Parenting Wishbone Parenting Backbone Parenting Upright and firm Upright and firm Argues and wishes for good results Argues and wishes for good results versus

IV. Lax Standards – at Home 1.Control House A.Example of elders and deacons (1 Tim. 3:4, 12) B.Natural for children to test and retest parents: What is acceptableWhat is acceptable How much they can do and get away withHow much they can do and get away with See if parents mean what they saySee if parents mean what they say How much they can control parentsHow much they can control parents

WARNING: Instant Gratification! The danger of instant gratification (Prov. 21:17) I. G. → an undisciplined lifestyle I. G. → an undisciplined lifestyle I. G. → creates a distaste for God (2 Tim. 3:4) I. G. → creates a distaste for God (2 Tim. 3:4) (1)

WARNING: Acting On Feelings Acting on “feelings” is the antithesis of “self-discipline” (Prov. 29:11)! An ally of instant gratification An ally of instant gratification An enemy of self-discipline An enemy of self-discipline Foresee the costs of actions rather than being driven by feelings Foresee the costs of actions rather than being driven by feelings God’s counsel as guide (Ps. 73:24) God’s counsel as guide (Ps. 73:24) (2)

IV. Lax Standards – at Home 1.Control House 2.Mean What You Say A.Define clearly what behavior is expected, acceptable, and intolerable B.Enforce what is defined with punishment or praise C.Allow, do not interfere with, “reality” as the child’s tutor

Reality teaches in so many different ways! A Time To Go Slow A Time To Pick Up The Pace A Time To Pick Up The Pace

The Bible teaches that reality is to be a teacher (2 Thess. 3:10) The Bible teaches that reality is to be a teacher (2 Thess. 3:10) Reality rewards for good and bad behavior (Is. 3:11; Prov. 11:18) Reality rewards for good and bad behavior (Is. 3:11; Prov. 11:18) Parental discipline simply reinforces what reality does Parental discipline simply reinforces what reality does

Set boundaries and limits Set boundaries and limits Make not every decision Make not every decision Refuse to always “bail out” child (Prov. 19:18, 19) Refuse to always “bail out” child (Prov. 19:18, 19) Deny instant rescue Deny instant rescue Hold accountable (Ps. 10:13) Hold accountable (Ps. 10:13) Develop problem solving skills Develop problem solving skills Do not focus on child’s unhappiness during training Do not focus on child’s unhappiness during training

What does this form of discipline accomplish? What does this form of discipline accomplish? It prepares children for life It prepares children for life It frees parents from nagging and pleading with their children It frees parents from nagging and pleading with their children It makes children accountable It makes children accountable It teaches responsibility It teaches responsibility

IV. Lax Standards – at Home A.Diligently train (Prov. 22:6) B.Expect receptivity from children  “My son, keep my words, and treasure my commands within you” (Prov. 7:1)  “Listen to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old” (Prov. 23:22)

IV. Lax Standards – at Home A.Corrective discipline (Prov. 29:17; 22:15; 19:18) B.Concern with clothing, music, movies, TV, who with, where go (Prov. 19:15) C.Care in helping prepare for Bible studies (Eph. 6:4) D.Communication to bond (Prov. 23:24, 26; 4:3, 4; Deut. 6:7; 11:19; etc.) E.Compelling obligations/tasks (Lk. 16:10)

I. Bad Influence – of their Friends II. Poor Example – of their Parents III. Weak Image – of the Church IV. Lax Standards – at Home V. Little Time – as a Family

1.Cannot fulfill responsibilities without time A.Time to be an example B.Time to teach them C.Time to help through problems D.Time to understand E.Time to communicate F.Time to build a relationship that lasts V. Little Time – as a Family

1.Cannot fulfill responsibilities without time 2.Redeeming time (Eph. 5:15, 16) A.Make wise use to time B.Sad when grow up – have no time for parents V. Little Time – as a Family

1.Cannot fulfill responsibilities without time 2.Redeeming time (Eph. 5:15, 16) 3.Often too busy A.To eat together B.To play together (no family outings) C.To pray together V. Little Time – as a Family

I. Bad Influence – of their Friends II. Poor Example – of their Parents III. Weak Image – of the Church IV. Lax Standards – at Home V. Little Time – as a Family