GUTS Youth Leadership Corps Interpersonal Skills

Important Interpersonal Skills Understanding Personality Types Yours Others How to adapt to other personality types Difficult Combinations Social Styles under stress Good Communication Skills How to communicate to others Active Listening

Dealing with Different People Every type of personality can be difficult to deal with. Sometimes it is difficult to talk to or explain things to different types of people Here are some tips First Identify what type of personality they have. Then approach them an try to communicate with them in ways that match their personality

Lets Play PIG Personality Identification Game Everyone gets a card One side has a personality type The other side has the characteristics of that personality type Each player wears the card with the characteristics facing forward Each player acts out the part while talking about mentoring and GUTS Players mingle trying to identify the different personality types The first person to identify all four personality types wins

Deal With Amiables (Doves) Be gentle/not brash Don’t overwhelm them or stress them Show kindness and consideration Slow your pace down / don’t rush them Ask them to share their opinion Give them personal and sincere praise

Deal With Analytics (Owls) Don’t pressure them for decisions Have the correct facts and information Speak softly and calmly Exercise patience around them Practice being in an “ask mode” Give them alone time and a private work area

Deal With Expressives Lighten up and have a sense of humor Let them talk / vent Show an interest in their interests Let them have fun and party Try to see the “heart” of the issue Give them grace when they’re in “reactive mode”

Deal with Drivers Increase your pace Get to the point! Don’t take them personally Practice being in a “task mode” Let them take the lead / give them more responsibility

Most Difficult Combinations

Social Styles under Stress

Good Communication Skills Listening –being an active listener Observing –body language and unspoken words. Communicating – be very clear in your presentation of facts and opinions. Decentering –Communicate with them in ways they will understand. Activity : Trust Walk

Good Listening Skills Active Listening – involves paying attention to verbal and non-verbal cues. “I” Messages – avoid judging or placing blame. Keep communications open. Paraphrasing – shows that you are listening by repeating what you just heard. Open-ended Questions (not binary) – provide for explanations and more in-depth responses.

Listening Quiz: The Story A businessman had just turned off the lights in the store when a man appeared and demanded money. The owner opened a cash register. The contents of the cash register were scooped up, and the man sped away. A member of the police force was notified promptly.

Active Listening An attempt to truly understand the content and emotion of the other person Done by paying attention to the verbal and non-verbal messages. The task is to focus, hear, respect, and communicate your desire to understand. This is not the time to be focusing on how you feel.

Active Listening is NOT Nagging Cajoling Reminding Threatening Criticizing Questioning Advising Evaluating Probing Judging Ridiculing

Active Listening Guidelines Empathize. Put yourself in the other person’s place to understand what that person is saying and how he or she feels. Be attentive. Make an effort to listen carefully. Don’t daydream or talk when someone else is talking.

Active Listening Guidelines Show understanding and acceptance by nonverbal behaviors. Tone of Voice Facial Expressions Gestures Eye Contact Postures

Active Listening Guidelines Reflect back the person’s most important thoughts and feelings. Try to do this in your own words. Paraphrase or restate while being careful to say only what you heard. Do not interrupt, offer advice, or give suggestions. Do not bring up similar feelings and problems from your own experience. Leave out your personal emotions, disagreements, opinions, and other feedback (unless you are asked for it).

Active Listening Guidelines Remain neutral. Don’t take sides. Ask open-ended questions. Ask for clarification but be polite and respectful. For example, ask “Can you say more about that?” or “What did you mean when you said…?”

Communicating Using “I” Messages Rather than saying things like, “You really messed up here,” begin statements with “I”, and make them about yourself and your feelings, like, “I feel frustrated when this happens.” It’s less accusatory, sparks less defensiveness, and helps the other person understand your point of view rather than feeling attacked.