Avoid wordiness: Use specific words

Concise writing expresses ideas without unnecessary wordiness. Wordiness not only increases the length of your work without adding meaning, but also makes your writing harder to understand. When we’re revising your draft, we are expected to cut out every extra word and phrase. Taking out extra words frees up space to include more ideas and more evidence. It also helps readers get straight to the point. Avoid wordiness

WORDY: Despite the fact that she was feeling ill, she came to the conclusion that she would go to work. CONCISE: Despite feeling ill, she decided to go to work. W: The reason why he came to Douglas College was because it was inexpensive in price. C: He came to Douglas College because it was inexpensive. W: In my opinion, I think the study of Sociology is very fascinating. C: Sociology is fascinating.

WORDY: Despite the fact that she was feeling ill, she came to the conclusion that she would go to work. CONCISE: Despite feeling ill, she decided to go to work. W: The reason why he came to Douglas College was because it was inexpensive in price. C: He came to Douglas College because it was inexpensive. W: In my opinion, I think the study of Sociology is very fascinating. C: Sociology is fascinating.

Wordy: At this point in time… Concise: Now… Wordy: Due to the fact that… Concise: Because… Wordy: In accordance with your request… Concise: As you requested… Wordy: The employee with ambition… Concise: The ambitious employee… Wordy: The department of marketing… Concise: The marketing department…

1. The fish was huge in size. 2. Now she is at school. 3. He was happy and joyful about the great gift. 4. Because of the fact that he got a good grade on the midterm, he decided to take the night off. 5. In the summer season, many people like to go to the beach. 6. I think smoking in public places should be banned. 7. In order to get the true facts of the case, the lawyer interviewed 4 witnesses.

8. Furthermore, Henry VIII also married six different women. 9. New Westminster, which was British Columbia’s first capital city, is located on the shores of the Fraser River. 10. The round yellow sun shone brightly among the clouds in the sky. 11. There are many factors contributing to the obesity epidemic. 12. Alanna hoped that her fellow classmates would collaborate together on the group project. 13. The computer is sitting on top of the table.

Causes of Wordiness See Text Page 5 Avoid wordiness

1. Terry Fox is perhaps one of Canada’s greatest modern heroes because of the fact that he did something amazing even though he was disabled and had lost his leg. 2. The nature of the house’s location really makes it very vulnerable to natural disaster situations. 3. The social aspects of a person’s life can be a major impact on job performance. 4. Dr. May Foster is a professor of American history. She holds a Ph.D. and teaches American history at the University of South Florida. Rewrite the following sentences to be more concise.

5. Compulsory attendance at assemblies is required; students must attend every assembly. 6. Dr. Lomas, the Administrator, has, in all correspondence, mentioned that she wants the staff’s reports and memos to be concise. 7. Generally speaking writers can kind of rely on certain online indexes of journals to basically start their research. 8. Finally, it has been noted that persons convicted of violent crimes are, according to most measures, more likely to return to prison; as we have seen, this contributes to what others have called the “nothing works” school of criminal justice.