Killing Me Softly - September 2006 Pacific Mediation Resolving Team & Staff Conflict

Killing Me Softly - September 2006 Pacific Mediation What is Conflict? Conflict occurs as a result of a perceived divergence of interest, or a belief that the current parties aspirations cannot be met simultaneously (Rubin,Pruitt & Kim, 1994)

Killing Me Softly - September 2006 Pacific Mediation Types of Conflict Substantive Facts Procedural Way situation has been handled Psychological Impact on feelings

Killing Me Softly - September 2006 Pacific Mediation Some Common Causes of Conflict Relationships Interests Communications Value differences Differing Perceptions Emotional Issues Resource Competition Differing Goals Personality Clash Management Styles

Conflict Escalation

Killing Me Softly - September 2006 Pacific Mediation Responses to Conflict Do Nothing (Live with it!) Negotiate Mediate Formal Investigation/Enquiry Arbitrate / Litigate

Killing Me Softly - September 2006 Pacific Mediation Personality Types Turtles Teddy Bears Foxes Owls Sharks

Killing Me Softly - September 2006 Pacific Mediation Perceptual Positions Walking, Seeing, Hearing, Thinking, Feeling, Believing 1 st Person From my perspective – Impact on ME – How I see things – How I feel

Killing Me Softly - September 2006 Pacific Mediation Perceptual Positions Walking, Seeing, Hearing, Thinking, Feeling, Believing 2 nd Person from their perspective – Impact on them – How they see things – How they feel

Killing Me Softly - September 2006 Pacific Mediation Perceptual Positions 3 rd Person – Observers View – Impartial position – Helicopter

Killing Me Softly - September 2006 Pacific Mediation Negotiation Styles Power Based Strikes, Sanctions, War Rights Based Courts, Adjudication, Arbitration Interest Based Mediation, Negotiation

Killing Me Softly - September 2006 Pacific Mediation Power Based Win / Lose outcome Total lack of trust Focus on differences Damages relationships Outcome unsatisfactory for one/both Costly

Killing Me Softly - September 2006 Pacific Mediation Rights Based Third party decision Law/precedent based Uncertain outcomes High cost $$$, and Emotions/Stress Time Relationship deterioration

Killing Me Softly - September 2006 Pacific Mediation Interest Based Issue identification Interests – Wants, needs – Fears, concerns Mutual respect Flexibility Protects relationships Outcome more sustainable

Killing Me Softly - September 2006 Pacific Mediation Resolution Styles Interest Based 1 Mediation Rights Based Adjudication - Arbitration Power Based Strikes - War Low COST High LIKLIHOOD of SATISFACTORY OUTCOME Low High

Killing Me Softly - September 2006 Pacific Mediation Questions? Do you think this dispute will still be going on in ………? If there were two methods of resolving disputes

Killing Me Softly - September 2006 Pacific Mediation Key Skills - Questioning Closed questions invite Yes/No End the exchange Open questions begin with: – How, What, When, Where, Who… – Tell me about … – How do you feel about?...

Killing Me Softly - September 2006 Pacific Mediation Key Skills - Listening A skill that can be learned and improved What do good listeners do? What are the impacts of good listening

Killing Me Softly - September 2006 Pacific Mediation Key Skills - Reflective Listening Reflective Listening is “Active” Words, Intonation, Body Concentration & Focus - Two Way Multi level Attitude as well as skills Paraphrase facts and feelings Clarify with open questions Validate feelings - From THEIR point of view

Killing Me Softly - September 2006 Pacific Mediation Key Skills - Reframing Be 'hard' on the issues, but 'soft' on the person. Move from : Person to Problem Positions to Interests Past to Future Neutral language and “I” statements Describe the speakers feelings, not the other persons character/action

Killing Me Softly - September 2006 Pacific Mediation Negotiating Agreement Focus moves from past to present and future Looking for settlement options – Challenge to take responsibility – “What do you think would be the best outcome for everyone? – “ What do you feel you could do to move negotiations along?” How the parties feel about the others point of view Looking for common ground

Killing Me Softly - September 2006 Pacific Mediation What is Mediation? Impartial 3rd Party Facilitated discussion Parties in control Parties work to THEIR solution

Killing Me Softly - September 2006 Pacific Mediation How is Mediation different? Expectations – Win / Loss Hostility Equity over Law Flexibility Formality Parties retain Control

Killing Me Softly - September 2006 Pacific Mediation Benefits of Mediation Far less costly Interest Based Preserves relationships Quick Less formal Flexible Participants in Control Increased chance of procedural fairness

Killing Me Softly - September 2006 Pacific Mediation Role of Mediator Responsible for Process Facilitates discussion Impartial Real empathy Empowering Assertive

Killing Me Softly - September 2006 Pacific Mediation Settlement Agreements WHO agrees to do WHAT WHEN

Killing Me Softly - September 2006 Pacific Mediation “Blessed are the Peacemakers” Good Luck If we can help please contact us Pacific Mediation Tel: