Deborah Gilboa, MD www.AskDrG.com PARENTING SMART SCHOLARS Ask Doctor G AskDocG.

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Presentation transcript:

Deborah Gilboa, MD PARENTING SMART SCHOLARS Ask Doctor G AskDocG

If you could wave a magic wand... What do you want for your child’s future?

STATS US Census Bureau: 2010 adults age living at home ↑26% to 5.9mil >2/3 parents give their adult children $$$ support (doubled in 20 yrs) Sallie Mae study of undergrads: average credit card balance is $3,173

hap · pi · ness: noun good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy INGREDIENTS: 1.Confidence 2.Competence 3.Relationships

WHAT ADULTS KNOW Teen years are for learning: Independence Competence How to build relationships Stepping in or asking too much inhibits this learning.

HELPING OUT Chores Babysitting Family care Transportation Emotional Support ____________

ROLES & PRIORITIES Student Family Member Athlete Youth leader Friend Artist Volunteer ____________

WHAT ADULTS NEED TO KNOW Adult involvement supports Safety Growth Learning Adult intervention harms Confidence Competence Relationships

ONE STEP BACK Skill building Time management Resource finding Life skills Relationship building Teachers, TA’s, coaches Roommates Friends, romance Problem-solving

10 HOW DOES FAILURE HELP? Proves independence Leads to competence Builds relationship Teaches resilience.

FAILURE AT ITS FINEST - Let life teach the lesson - What can adults do instead? Praise the process. Play “What if?” What would you tell a friend? “I’ll be really interested to see what you do!”