Skills that Build, Enhance or Maintain Self-Efficacy Week Ten

Topics The Four Agreements Mission Statements Accountability Goals Circle of Influence / Personal Power

Re-Visiting the Definition of Self-Efficacy Self-Efficacy –Confidence in the functioning of my mind –Confidence in our ability to think, understand, learn, choose and make decisions –Confidence in our ability to cope with the basic challenges of life Earning a living Take independent care of oneself in the world Able to function effectively in interactions with other human beings –Ability to bounce back and regenerate –Self-trust; Self-reliance –A disposition to expect success for our efforts

The Four Agreements from the book by Don Miguel Ruiz Be Impeccable with Your Word Don't Take Anything Personally Don't Make Assumptions Always Do Your Best

The Four Agreements from the book by Don Miguel Ruiz Be Impeccable with Your Word Speak with integrity. –Say only what you mean. –Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. –Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love. Impeccable means “without sin” –a sin is something you do or believe that goes against yourself. –It means not speaking against yourself, to yourself or to others. –It means not rejecting yourself. –To be impeccable means to take responsibility for yourself, to not participate in “the blame game.” What you put out energetically will return to you. –Proper use of the word creates proper use of energy, putting out love and gratitude perpetuates the same in the universe. Impeccability starts at home. –Be impeccable with yourself and that will reflect in your life and your relationships with others.

The Four Agreements from the book by Don Miguel Ruiz Don't Take Anything Personally Nothing others do is because of you. –What others say and do is a projection of their own dream. –When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering. We take things personally when we agree with what others have said. –If we didn't agree, the things that others say would not affect us emotionally. –If we did not care about what others think about us, their words or behavior could not affect us. Even if someone yells at you, gossips about you, harms you or yours, it still is not about you! –Their actions and words are based on what they believe in their personal dream. Our personal belief system makes us feel safe. –When people have beliefs that are different from our own, we get scared, defend ourselves, and impose our point of view on others.

The Four Agreements from the book by Don Miguel Ruiz Don't Make Assumptions Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. –Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. –With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life. When we make assumptions it is because we believe we know what others are thinking and feeling. –We believe we know their point of view, their dream. –We forget that our beliefs are just our point of view based on our belief system and personal experiences and have nothing to do with what others think and feel. We make the assumption that everybody judges us, abuses us, victimizes us, and blames us the way we do ourselves. –As a result we reject ourselves before others have the chance to reject us. –When we think this way, it becomes difficult to be ourselves in the world. Take action and be clear to others about what you want or do not want; do not gossip and make assumptions about things others tell you. –Respect other points of view and avoid arguing just to be right. –Respect yourself and be honest with yourself. Stop expecting the people around you to know what is in your head.

The Four Agreements from the book by Don Miguel Ruiz Always Do Your Best Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. –Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self- abuse, and regret. Doing your best means enjoying the action without expecting a reward. –The pleasure comes from doing what you like in life and having fun, not from how much you get paid. –Enjoy the path traveled and the destination will take care of itself. Living in the moment and releasing the past helps us to do the best we can in the moment. –It allows us to be fully alive right now, enjoying what is present, not worrying about the past or the future. Have patience with yourself. –Take action. –Practice forgiveness. –If you do your best always, transformation will happen as a matter of course.

Writing a Personal Mission Statement A personal mission statement is –a brief description of what you want to focus on –what you want to accomplish and –who you want to become in a particular area of your life over the next one to three years. It is a way to focus your energy, actions, behaviors and decisions towards the things that are most important to you

Personal Mission Statement Guidelines Keep it simple, clear and brief. The best mission statements tend to be 3 to 5 sentences long. Your mission statement should touch upon what you want to focus on and who you want to become as a person (character) in this part of your life. Make sure your mission statement is positive. Instead of saying what you don't want to do or don't want to be, say what you do want to do or become. Find the positive alternatives to any negative statements. Include positive behaviors, character traits and values that you consider particularly important and want to develop further. Think about how your actions, habits, behavior and character traits in this area affect the important relationships in your life.

Personal Mission Statement Guidelines Create a mission statement that will guide you in your day- to-day actions and decisions. Make it a part of your everyday life. Think about how your mission affects the other areas of your life. Is it consistent with your other personal mission statements? Will it conflict with or contradict something else? Is it balanced? Make it emotional. Including an emotional payoff in your mission statement infuses it with passion and will make it even more compelling, inspiring and energizing. Remember that your mission statement is not cast in stone. It will continue to change and evolve as you gain insights about yourself and what you want out of each part of your life.

Goal Setting Goal setting is a process that helps you: –get clear on what you want, –make an action plan to help you get there, –launch into action, and –persist until you reach your destination or find a better one. This process can significantly increase your probability of success and achieving what you want. Research studies show a direct link between goal setting and enhanced performance in sports and business.

What is a Goal? A goal is a well-defined target that gives you clarity, direction, motivation, and focus. Goals are tools that help you in five main ways: –Make a positive change in your life –Form a new habit or change an existing habit –Improve or develop a skill, talent, or ability –Realize a dream or other important outcome –Improve your performance on a task or activity

SMART Goals How to Set and Achieve Them A common acronym in goal setting is the so-called SMART goals, but what does it really mean and what is so smart about them? The SMART acronym is used to describe what experts consider to be "good" goal statements because they contain most of the essential ingredients.

SMART Goals How to Set and Achieve Them Specific Measurable Action-oriented Realistic Time-bound

The Re-Direction of Personal Power The Personal Power Grid © Scott & Jaffe