Governing for Healthy Leadership Rev. Dr. Richard Speck Joseph Priestley District

Introductions Introduction – What I bring Who’s in the room Name Congregation Role One hoped for outcome

“We live in anxious times.” “Leadership is the art of hiding our panic from others.” Dr. Rabbi Edwin H. Friedman

Leadership Definition of a leader: A person who seeks to create a new world. –Awareness of imperfection. –Unsatisfied with the status quo. –Eager for something better. –George Bernard Shaw: "Some men see things as they are and say why - I dream things that never were and say why not."

Leadership Primary Strategies Keeping the congregation directly aligned with its vision and mission is the primary task of the board. Accountability for the welfare of the congregation includes the following strategies: 1.Setting the tone of cooperation 2.Inviting collaboration between people 3.Making major decisions 4.Mapping the direction on an annual basis

Leadership Primary Strategies 5.Establishing healthy boundaries 6.Encouraging self-expression from within 7.Staying in touch with the pulse and desires of the congregation 8.Monitoring and restraining any behavior that could potentially threaten the integrity of the board and its accountability to the congregation.

Leadership in Emotional Systems Critical to healthy emotional systems is the ability of leaders to self- differentiate, i.e., defining self to others while staying in touch with members of the group, even if they remain reactive.

Healthy Leadership To become a well-differentiated, mature person, one has to think from an “I position” and focus on one’s own functioning while still staying connected to others. Self-differentiation is indeed good stewardship of the self.

Healthy Leadership The differentiated, non-anxious leader works on SELF, one’s own functioning. His or her influence does not rely on personality, gaining consensus, techniques or skills, piles of information, or expertise. The field’s force is influenced by the leader’s BEING (presence) and DOING (functioning).

Healthy Leadership Leaders take responsibility for their own actions. They are not responsible for how others function. The leader is the person who most influences an emotional field.

Leadership and the System Leadership is the ability to be in but not of a system. –Influencing and influenced by, but not determined by. –To be calm amidst the storm; –To keep your head while those about you are losing theirs; –To hide your panic.

Mature Leaders Leadership is the spiritual process of discerning what one believes (clarity), acting on that belief in the public arena (decisiveness), and standing behind that action despite the varied responses of people (courage). Rev. Frank Thomas

Leadership Functioning Unhealthy relationships develop when the leadership adapts to its weakest members Our adapting to them is our codependency and enabling them We must focus on our strength and principles

Courage of Leading Any time a leader or leadership group makes a clear decision, some members will be unable to resist the temptation to define themselves as victims of the decision (“It was win/lose, and we lost.”) We must set clear boundaries and need to stand upon our principles as mature leaders.

Courage of Leading Any leadership body that adapts to those members who cannot resist defining themselves as victims puts itself at a disadvantage in confronting challenges that are inevitably part of achieving its mission. We need to stay true to our vision and mission.

Courage of Leading The leader is not responsible for the entire institution but only for the position of leadership.

Healthy Response to Anxiety Focus on your responsibility, not on others Focus on your integrity, not unity Focus on your strengths, not weaknesses Focus on healthy process, not content

Healthy Response to Anxiety Focus on the challenge, not comfort Focus on the system, not on the symptoms Focus on the mission, not the conditions

Immunity A healthy community needs immunity. The leadership must function as the community’s system of immunity. The health or illness of a system depends upon its leadership’s capacity to function as an immune system to prevent dis-ease.

Building Immunity Many parallels exist between cellular processes and emotional processes. Relationship systems need both stability and change. People naturally react to change. The challenge of change provokes anxiety in a system.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. Mark Twain

Best Practices Planning Timed agenda sent out in advance Post agenda before meeting for others to see Assigned roles and tasks Realistic agenda

Best Practices Planning People come prepared Agreed to agenda Adequate time Vision and goals for organization Invite the right people

Best Practices Process Check-in Create a covenant for behavior Use of religious symbols Mindfulness of UU principles Leader attentive to group process All feel heard Deep listening to each other

Best Practices Process Sense of humor Optimism Inclusivity Enthusiasm Mutual trust of each other Equal participation

Best Practices Process Civil treatment of all Environment comfortable Participate Be on the same page Consistent attendance

Best Practices Technique Leader who leads Agenda driven and followed Meeting kept on track Strong chair or facilitator Have action items and responsibilities Use variety of activities for discussion Don’t get bogged down

Best Practices Technique Delegation of tasks Time limited remarks Prepared to decide Parking lot for later discussion Know why they are present Use handouts and visuals for understanding Use electronic visuals to keep confusion down

Best Practices Technique Provide a narrative with financial reports Table disagreements Small group discussions of contentious issues Building strong relations Welcoming disagreements End on time

Best Practices Afterward Create summarized reports Have sense of accomplishment Good minutes Minutes issued timely Structured feedback Prepare stakeholders for decisions Have clear outcomes

Things that Improve Boards Members are approachable Nominating Committee knows what to look for in board members Separating issues from emotions Finding 10 times and 10 ways to communicate with the congregation Having board and committee manuals Having written job descriptions

Things that Improve Boards Using early detection of problems Having an organized structure for meetings Keeping the meeting focused on policy level Having a behavioral code Each person knowing ten major things about the church

Resources UUA and JPD Resources Selected Resources for Congregational Elected Leaders InterConnections - Resources for Lay Leaders Monthly packet, calendar of events

Resources Additional Resources Alban Institute Full of many helpful articles and book synopses about church life Greenleaf Center for Servant Leadership Material on leadership in organizations

Healthy Congregations Workshop