Friendships

Qualities of Friendship Terms to know: clique, loyalty, reciprocity All friendships are different The qualities we look for in a friendship varies from person to person

Cont. Strong relationships have certain qualities: Common interests Loyalty Empathy Dependability Reciprocity Forgiveness Caring

Making Friends Relationships are complicated Meet people that have the same interests as you Start a conversation with someone you don’t know Ask open-ended questions Pay attention to what they are saying and respond Avoid controversial topics

Cont. Taking the next step Handling rejection Call them Make plans to hang out Handling rejection Can be painful but happens to everyone Don’t change yourself to make others happy Not every friendship is meant to be

Cont. Keeping friendships strong Make time for each other Be honest Trustworthy Always working to make it better

Teen Friendships Friendship groups Cliques Help shape who teens are Who teens spend most of their time with Cliques Small exclusive group Tends to people who share the same values and interests Are cliques a good thing??

Cont. Friends of different ages Growing apart Helps broaden teenagers understanding of themselves and the world around them Growing apart Don’t always survive the changes teenagers go through People change

Friends for Life Having a lot of friends is not as important as having a few (1or 2) good friends that are there for you no matter what Friendships should help you grow as a person Strengthen your character Learn to give to others (sharing) Make you a better person overall

Responsible Relationships

Friendships Typically, most relationships start out as friendships First step to a serious relationship

Relationships Learn to care at a more personal level May have sexual pressures Wonder about the expectations of the other person Complicated

Going Out Wanting more than a friendship Age of readiness is not the same for everyone “go out” for specific reasons

Establishing Rules Parents set up the rules They don’t want their teens in situations that are beyond their ability and control Don’t want teens to be involved in serious relationships so they don’t lose sight of important goals If you were a parent, what rules would you set? What concerns would you have?

Spending Time with a Group Going out usually begins in groups Safer Helps people to relax and have a good time Less nervous Don’t always have to keep a conversation going

Going Out as a Couple Going in groups helps people to be comfortable Eventually they go out as a couple Going out with others helps to learn about others Going out with only one person gives a person security Often the relationship ends Lose a lot of opportunities to meet other people

Commitment When two people decide they don’t want to see other people and stay true to each other State of obligation to each other and a dedication to making the relationship work

Marriage Success is often determined before the marriage takes place Some people don’t spend enough time getting to know their partner Usually takes at least a year or more to get to know someone Skills and effort are needed to make marriages work as well as communication and conflict resolution

Cont. Not everyone wants to marry Marriage is a choice, not an obligation May find career, travel, or community service more fulfilling

Teen Marriages Not all make this commitment seriously Roughly 70% of teen marriages end in divorce Still a time of change Teenage years are full of experiences that don’t happen when people get older, missed because of the marriage

Handling Emotions A high level of attachment can stir intense emotions Love and infatuation “how will I know when I’m in love?” Love is needed by two people to make a relationship last Love is based on caring and a desire to work towards common goals Requires giving and taking Communication Trust

Cont. Many people are infatuated with someone, not in love Love lasts, infatuations don’t How to tell the difference?: Is the relationship based on more than physical appearance? Is the feeling based on the total person? Is concern for the other person’s well-being and happiness important? Has enough time been allowed to tell?

Crushes Intense, short-term feelings of fascination that are usually not returned The feelings will fade with time

Stalking The ending of a relationship or crush may end with problems Unwelcomed pursuit of another Refuses to acknowledge that the relationship is over Calls repeatedly, constant letters, following the person, loitering around their home Contact police if this occurs

Jealousy Typical in relationships Feeling that the person you care about is more interested in someone or something else A little bit of jealousy is normal; out of hand, it is destructive Extremely jealous people are insecure Best way to handle it is to talk about it Understand that the person has needs that the relationship can not fulfill

Anger Can threaten a relationship Common in relationships When anger is felt, physical actions are NOT allowed Verbal responses are not allowed Physical and verbal attacks happen because the person does not know how to communicate effectively or how to solve a conflict Don’t let anger build over time, just as destructive

When Relationships End Unreasonable to expect a person to find a life long mate without ever trying other relationships Breaking up can be very painful and difficult Read information on page 198

Sexuality and Responsibility Opinions and values differ Need to be realistic and know about the consequences of their actions 3 out of 10 high school girls that get pregnant get a degree by age 30 Regrets can cause guilt New relationships may be harder to form Reputations can suffer Sexually Transmitted Diseases Some are treatable, not all

Real Pressures Why take risks? Physical pressures Television shows Movies Explicit images Peer pressures

Strategies for Handling Sexual Feelings Think ahead Make a plan for abstinence Practice refusal skills Make your own choice (don’t let someone else influence your choice!!) Self-control Can still show affection, express it differently

Pride in Yourself Feel good about yourself Stand up for your personal values You are smart enough to make wise decisions on your own

Teen Parenting

Teen parenting Not mature enough – emotionally, physically, or financially to take on responsibility of parenthood More likely to abuse/neglect their children Have low paying jobs Need to finish school Dropping out will not provide opportunities for experience and training needed to get a better job

Physical Concerns Bodies are still growing Babies tend to be born premature or have low birth weight Endanger a females body More likely to develop toxemia or anemia

Planning Ahead Not planning ahead hurts the parents and the child May give baby a poor start to life and may not foster the child’s growth and development needs Talk to partner about responsibilities and consequences

Open Books to page 161 (White Book) Write one sentence summaries for each of the following sections: Health risks Academic risks Emotional risks Social risks Economics Child care Neglect and abuse