1 Conflict Resolution Sharon Parrott

2 Agenda Introduction Icebreaker Understanding the nature of conflict The Win/Win Approach

3 Ice Breaker Discuss desired outcomes Record on wall posters Revisit at the end of class

4 Understanding Conflict Conflict is everywhere Do not avoid Handle in a productive manner

5 Recalling Personal Experience of Conflict What does conflict mean to you? Is conflict a fight, a disagreement or war? What feelings do you have when conflict arises?

6 Destructive Ways Tension Unresolved problems Stress Low productivity Sour relationships Time off – sick Health problems Anxiety Resentment

7 Constructive Ways Relaxation Openness High productivity Expanding friendly relationships Vitality Good health Empowerment A sense of achievement

8 Levels of Conflict

9 Crisis Screaming Throwing an object Not talking Walking off of the job

10 Crisis Screaming Throwing an object Not talking Walking off of the job Discomfort UpsetUnclear IrritatedMisunderstanding Something WrongAnxious NudgeNegative attitude Tension

11 Stay Alert Choose the appropriate –Time –Opportunity –Option

12 Break Time Return in 15 minutes

13 The Win/Win Approach Types of behavior used in resolving conflict

14 Conflict Behavior Some deal with the problem Others avoid it Some enhance relationships Others harm relationships Some solve the conflict Others increase it

15 Reasons for Conflict Responses Habit Learned patterns Variations with mood, setting, relationship, significance of the conflict Belief system – for me to win someone must lose

16 Fight Concept Screaming Physical violence Refusing to listen Manipulation Sulking

17 Fight Behaviors I am right and you are wrong To blame and punish To threaten I am ok and you are not

18 Flight Behaviors Sulking Crying Avoiding Pretending it has not happened Giving in

19 Flight Behavior Intentions I am wrong and you are right To avoid conflict To maintain peace To let the other people win I am not ok and you are

20 Flow Behaviors Discussing the issue Listening to others Taking time-out Explaining own perspective and needs Compromising

21 Flow Behavior Intentions There must be a way to solve this To sort out the problem To respect others To make sure everyone is satisfied with the solution I am ok and you are ok

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23 Understanding Behavior Context Relationship of participants Culture Past history Future

24 Fight, Flight, or Flow Punish Avoid conflict Deal with the Issue

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26 Discuss Listen Find out what each other wants/needs

27 Win/Win Approach Needs first Solutions later

28 The Win/Win Approach Compromise –Fair –Everyone shares –Everyone has some needs met

29 Disadvantages to Compromising One party gives more Not all options explored Breed resentment Form of lose/lose

30 Break Time Return in 15 minutes

31 Principles of Win/Win Approach Considering needs Concerned with fairness Respecting relationships No one loses Fulfilling needs Consulting with others

32 Benefits to Win/Win Approach Productivity Creativity Quality Commitment Focus

33 No Compromise Jobs Not worked hard enough Conflicting family functions

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35 Beginning conflict issues – were they answered?

36 Finale Thank you for attending!