Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc. Chapter 7 Listening

Section 1 THE NATURE OF LISTENING Interplay Section 1 THE NATURE OF LISTENING Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

Listening: How Important Is It? 55% college student’s time 60% of executives’ time At work: Ability to listen effectively: “Ideal skill” for managers At home Listening = important ingredient of relational satisfaction Listening to personal narratives, fundamental to humanity and well- being. Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

Listening, defined… Listening: Process of making sense of others’ spoken messages. Hearing: Process in which sound waves strike the eardrum and cause vibrations that are transmitted to the brain. Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

Mindless/Mindful Listening Mindless listening: When we react to others’ messages automatically and routinely without much mental investment. Why do the authors say that mindless listening can be valuable? Mindful listening: Giving careful and thoughtful attention and responses to the messages we receive. Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

Section 2 REASONS FOR LISTENING Interplay Section 2 REASONS FOR LISTENING Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

To understand… Listening fidelity: Degree of congruence between what a listener understands and what the message-sender was attempting to communicate. Invitational attitude: Desire to learn more about perspectives other than our own. Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

To evaluate… Evaluating the quality of messages. Mindful evaluation requires: Motivation Ability to analyze comments Impartiality Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

To build and maintain relationships and help others… Failure to listen = one of the most frequent communication problems seen in counseling. Listening well: First and most important habit to teach children. Salespeople, people who use persuasion, benefit from well- developed listening skills. Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

Section 3 CHALLENGES OF LISTENING Interplay Section 3 CHALLENGES OF LISTENING Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

Listening is Not Easy Information overload Personal concerns Rapid thought Noise Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

All listeners do not receive the same message Physiological factor, social role, cultural background, personal interests, and needs shape and distort raw data we hear. Research: “Even the most active, empathic listener cannot … truly walk in another’s shoes. Dyads only achieve 25-50% accuracy in interpreting or representing each other’ behavior. Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

Poor listening habits Pseudolisteners Stage hogs Selective listeners Fill in gaps Insulated listening Defensive listening Ambushers Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

Section 4 COMPONENTS OF LISTENING Interplay Section 4 COMPONENTS OF LISTENING Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

Components of Listening Hearing: Physiological process Attending: Psychological process. We attend most carefully when there is a payoff for doing so. Skillful communicators attend to speaker’s words and nonverbal cue. Attending benefits the message sender. Attempt to screen out distractions. Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

Components of Listening Understanding Syntactic and grammatical rules Knowledge about the source of a message Context of a message Listener’s mental abilities. Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

Components of Listening Remembering Number of times the information is heard/repeated. How much information is stored in the brain. Whether the information may be “rehearsed” or not. Research: People only remember about half of what they hear immediately. Within 2 months, 50% forgotten, leaving 25% remembered. Loss begins immediately—within about 8 hours! Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

Components of Listening Responding Giving observable feedback to the speaker. Good listeners show attentiveness through: Eye contact Appropriate facial expression Answering questions Exchanging ideas Communication is transactional in nature! Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

END OF SECTION CHAPTER CONTINUES IN PART TWO Interplay END OF SECTION CHAPTER CONTINUES IN PART TWO Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.